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Sunday 20 April 2008

Being Smart

For quite some time, people kept telling me I'm intelligent. Before this started I only heard that being said to me from my parents as a reason for my social exclusion in school environments. Other than that, my peers felt it appropriate to call me an idiot.

I'm still fairly bewildered with this term being applied to me. I have only an above average score, nothing that would make me a Mensa member (and quite frankly, the one Mensa member I met on the internet was an arrogant prick who'd expect everyone to know everything). I have no idea where this claim of intellect comes from and I don't think I'll understand it any time soon.

I have to admit that every time this topic is brought up in a social context, I feel awkward. I am not sure how to react and just fall silent for a moment before disregarding the claim and moving on. Anything other than that would be either considered rude (disapproval) or arrogant (acknowledgement), at least to me.

The main reason why I don't consider myself intelligent is that simply put, I'm still bewildered with the world I find myself in. There's a great many things I don't understand and the moment I think I finally got it, the universe proves me wrong.

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