Monday, 24 November 2008

Work?

This week shall see me less online and more in Word.

I now have one document to translate, I expect another one to reach me today.

This combined with studying means I will die... especially since I can't work during the weekend like I usually do, DragonMeet on Saturday. While on Sunday I'll have a Dane staying and watching DVDs with me most likely...

That's also why I didn't do a weekly review of everything... eh, I better go start messing with language...

and it's cold... seriously... maybe I should drink another cup of tea... the sugar will kill me, I know it...

Monday, 17 November 2008

I learned something disconcerting about myself when I started thinking about my future plans.
I don't think that in this context I worry too much as I often do. I suppose we all think of where we're heading and what would be the best course of action. Decisions about education and choice of career, where to fit a hobby and entertainment in a busy lifestyle.

Right now I'm studying.
Before the northern hemisphere goes into summer, I hope to become a Bachelor of Linguistics.
During the summer I intend to take up a course that will give me teaching qualifications.
Then I'll wrest the demons of language to prove I'm worthy of the title, Master of Linguistics.
When that milestone is reached, I'd like to go to Germany (or Austria, hint!) to teach English and polish my German.
After a year, I was thinking of taking up an Open University course (it's like higher education over the internet) in Philosophy.
Although it so happens that I'd like to be a Doctor of Linguistics, so I think I'll spend two years familiarising myself with the linguistic community by reading journals and blogs to keep my knowledge fresh.
I suspect the Doctorate will halt my progress in Philosophy but that's fine with me, I'm patient like that.

On the other side of things there's my inherent creativity!
I want to spend the first year of my employment on saving up enough money to go see GenCon and possibly meet those Americans I talk to online.
I'm running online games, that won't stop.
I'm writing rp material.
I'll start a roleplaying blog with the start of 2009.
I want to try some more games.
I want to write books.
I want to practice drawing and try my hand at a webcomic one day.

I would say those are the two main aspects of my life but they are hardly the only ones.

So many things I want to learn: dancing (classical dance, because that thing people mean when they say everyone can dance is not dancing), martial arts, playing the violin, languages (I'm not going to stop on German), PHP, CSS...

and things that hold my interest in reading: mythology, philosophy, linguistics, folklore, fantasy, science fiction, sociology, theology, horror...

I love learning.
I love imagination.
I love art.

The only thing that really worries me is that I'm becoming self centred. I'm walking away from those years of waiting for a bright light to shine and take me out of misery because I no longer believe in that being possible. The question currently roaming through the vast expenses of my mind is quite simple: Is self improvement the way to being alone?

On one hand, I can see how many of the things I'm interested in can enhance my social experience.
On the other, I fear that I'll make myself into a workaholic.

Sunday, 9 November 2008

Readership

There's one problem that I'm having with writing for Azylum. I read posts on other similar sites and the comment section really shows what kind of Poles read the stuff I'm writing. It's full of bickering, accusations and vitriol. Every time I sat down to write something fun, to contribute to the abysmal happenings in the WoD-PL scene, those comments appear in my head (and they're not even directed at me) and I feel discouraged from writing.

It's funny how this is true only to the PL side, when I post something in ENG, everyone is nice even if they don't agree with me. It's like in the ENG sphere people just want to have fun, of course, there are exception but they're still in the minority. The opposite is true in PL. Right now, the only thing keeping me in Azylum are the people behind it. A nice bunch, it's why I try to contribute in hopes that site will keep running. At the same time, I hope it will reach a point where it'll grow to the extent where one person leaving won't cause it to die...

I think I made myself sound important... I don't like that...

Now that I think about it, it's funny how Christian felt the same way (at least I think that's how he felt) about posting on the WW forum...

Wednesday, 5 November 2008

Thank you

The day started very plain. I woke up and had my tea. It wasn't long until a Czech car arrived to pick me up and we drove to Eastbourne where the three of us went to an Asian Restaurant. We ate a lot and I received a very cool present of a tiny cartoon skull that since then adorns my many hats.

We then went to our Eastbourne friend's house, where we spent some time talking and just being nice to each other.

After I returned home, I found an email. In this email, one girl that I knew from high school wished me happy birthday and made clear she understands what I'm going through in relation to my feelings for her.

Lastly, all those wishes on blogs and forums helped too.

It was an exciting day.

Thanks to all of you.

Birthday

For the first time in my life

With an honest heart

I can say

This day was the best day

I have ever had

Thank you

Thank you everyone

who made this possible

I'll try not to forget

(knowing my memory

it'll be hard

What was I talking about?)