Saturday, 23 June 2007

The Googles! They do nothing!

I'm starting to get really sick with how the internet works. It's as if you can't do anything without violation, insult or something similar. You can't give a link to an episode because that's piracy, you can't modify the setting because it's a crime, you can't say you like a drawing because it's not constructive criticism and as such doesn't lead to artistic improvement, neither can you enjoy something that most don't because that's just not right, you can't talk about a series because someone might not have seen it and you'd be spoiling it, you can't like a game without being in the wrong... I think I should just give internet-community a rest...

Still no job. I've booked an appointment with the Careers Centre at my university, maybe they'll help. I don't know what is it about me that no one wants to even interview me, I'm getting tired of walking to the town centre for no reason. Picking the Friday-Ad and looking blankly at things I'm unable to do. It's frustrating that I spent years educating myself and I have nothing, absolutely nothing out of it. No skill, no experience, no nothing...

I've got an unrefined idea for a poem. I'm trying to come up with more of them as time goes since I really do want to have that publication and without a good amount of them, it won't happen. Maybe I should try and write a novel for once, at least I've got ideas and the ability to write (sucks about not being able to speak) and maybe one day I'll be able to publish one...

I've just deleted all of my subscriptions, so my nerves should come down a bit. No more posting for me, at least until I get over it... that or I find a life of my own. Though this will have no effect on my RPoL proceedings.

The Orphanage game is going well, a few more months and it will be a year since it started. Now the group just got back to the court in order to clear Herbert's name (played by Deoq) and save everyone overall.
The Exalted game goes extremely well, my players seem to be avid posters and I hope they are liking the plot. I even bought The White and Black Treatise and Scroll of the Monk to enhance the game as a whole.
This may sound a bit emo, but I think that these games really are things I enjoy the most.
The Mage: The Awakening game died because the players have some pressing issues in real life, while my Thallain game seems like it's not going to start at all.

Okay, The Sound of Drums was definitely a better Doctor Who episode than Utopia!

I've updated my website a bit. I've stated up Bones as a player character, a certain Wench might recall him from a game that took place over a year ago. Other than that, there's a knowledge-train magath in the NPC section and some minor fixes, most of them of the "behind the scenes" category.

What else? What else? What else?
Dunno. I've been going through an internal storm I think, I'm still a bit angry about the whole situation. By 'situation' I mean my inability to find a job and a prospect of being homeless if my landlord decides to sell this house. Also, I might be going home for a while and the prospect of it isn't something I'm looking forward to, even with the whole pressure on my family's part.
I think I should change some things about me. Put my toys and cartoons away, stop smiling and being alive like a child and instead start drinking, going to pubs, watch porn, think of women as sex objects and smoking... maybe then life will be better...

Wednesday, 6 June 2007

Here be Update

My assignments & exams are done... thus my first year of university has ended.

Now I have to do the following:
1. Find a job -> I feel like Sisyphus in this matter
2. Survive -> This will be even harder... four months with no job, no education, no nothing.

This job hunt is getting me worried. If I'm inexperienced to hold a menial position, how am I supposed to find a more demanding job after I finish university?

I went shopping today, and the following will sound incredibly stupid considering I'm 20...
There is a lot of youth on the street. When I see the teenagers, I just think about my school years and remind myself how much time I spent either studying or pretending to study... to an extent, I always thought that's going to help me in the end, at least a lot more than for those who went out on party after party. But it's the other way around really... why? Because now I'll finish with education, find a job (hopefully), work, retire and die... I always thought it went: education -> job -> family -> retire -> die... but the family part begins way before education... most people I know are already planing marriage, and they're in the same year...

I suck at life...