Decline of Dramatic Effect

It's been a while since I wrote about Roleplaying Games... and they've been on my mind lately... ever since I got a new room-mate and been showing him my various collections...

I have a few books with me that I haven't even read. Despite that I still feel like getting other game lines that I'm missing from the overall set. Quite a considerable amount of time ago, I bought a copy of the 20th Anniversary Edition of Vampire The Masquerade as part of a European project to mass order it from the States so we can cut down on the shipping price. I've waited months for the release and then I waited a year to actually get the book since I was moving a lot that year... but when I finally got a stable address, the people behind the project sent the game over to my place.

I didn't have a lot of money at the time. I had to scrape what little I had and I only did it because that is the game that got me into a hobby that would be part of my life for more than half thereof. I have a lot of fond memories of that game. I still remember how I unpacked the box that it came in, how I marvelled at the cover, how I started to run games in school and how I tormented my friend with the fact he borrowed it and then gave it back in pieces...

That was two years ago and I still haven't read the book... and now there's a kickstarter for another game that means a lot to me... I find myself in this strange position where I would love to support it but I'm doing nothing about it due to insufficient funds and the knowledge that even if I have the book, I'll do nothing with it...

I did join a game, A Song of Ice and Fire, at The Roleplay Club. I didn't really get into the game. I think my character just got underused. Every time I wanted to show off his personality, I just hit a brick wall due to the circumstances... or maybe I just didn't know the setting well-enough to make a proper character... on the other hand, it was a gamble to begin with since I don't really like games based on existing properties in general... so I ended up wanting to chat with a friend while other players did stuff... and when I had to go to school for an entire month, I decided to just drop from the game...

Thus, gaming was had, I had some fun but I still feel rather lacklustre about roleplaying games. There's even an open spot at the club for someone to run a game but I just can't seem to find the willingness in me to commit to it. I still can't say I burnt out. I have ideas for games and campaigns, my main issue is deciding between them, and I keep catching myself thinking on how to stat the various characters I used to play in Hero System. I'm certainly not suffering from any sort of creative block. I'm even setting up a solo Skype game with a friend and am looking forward to it... alas, my enthusiasm is still not what it used to be...

I think, as far as the Roleplay Club goes, my issue is mainly that I feel, with the utmost certainty, that I shan't be able to run a game of the type that would please my gaming aesthetics.

Story trumps rules!

I can't help but think about this one Actual Play Thread that I've read on RPG.net a long time ago. There was this once scene that sunk into my mind. The game in question was Werewolf The Forsaken. I should explain a bit about the game but I can't just say it's about werewolves... about being a cursed creature with anger management issues... while there should be a lot of that in a game, it is much deeper than what you'd expect. Werewolves, in that setting, are half-spirit creatures who took upon themselves the task of keeping the physical and spiritual realm in balance. One aspect of that is that spirits will often try and break through the barrier between worlds and anchor themselves to the physical realm, preferably by possessing some mortal.

The scene that sunk deep into my psyche was one in which a werewolf approached his (or her, I'm fuzzy on the details at this point) closest relative who suffered a major trauma (probably by being related to a werewolf and dragged into a lot of unpleasant things) and bargained with a happiness spirit in the form of a happy smiley face to possess the person... because it's better for your sister to turn into a happy monster than to let her suffer through the atrocities she's been witness to.

The whole idea of a player going through the trouble of making that moment a significant part of the game struck me as wonderful. It's not just about how much damage you'll be able to dish out with your Epicly Legendary Sword of Doomy Doom +9000... The Pathos! That's what I want in a game... alas, I had people walk out of the games I run because they were too talky... just before the big fight scene between armies that would last a few sessions!

See, I like fight scenes too, that's why one of my favourite games is Exalted... where the more over-the-top action description you make, the higher your chances of actually pulling it off are... but I want drama in my games too... alas, players who will go beyond the call of looting the bodies are so rare that, in a way, I just gave up trying to game...

Identity Crisis

Roleplaying had always been a very large part of who I am. I've been playing those games since I was twelve years old. I've even considered writing a more-or-less detailed history of how I went through the games. Even now I have notes to write a few blog posts within the subject of roleplaying games, I once had an idea to write a whole series of posts on how to run games on a forum and I still have those plans for articles to be submitted to Asylum which I really should work on.

Throughout most of my life I didn't have a group of people dedicated enough to sit down and play some games with me regularly. When I was a teenager, the greatest thing ever was to get so drunk you woke up the next day. It is perhaps suffice to say that I tried and failed to see the attraction. Roleplaying games, on the other hand, provided me with enough mental stimulation and an outlet for my rampant imagination that I played them more and more. Alas, it is rather difficult to play them without anyone to play them with. So I tried playing online. First with chats, then on a forum and in the end I landed on RPoL.

I liked it for many reason and I've both ran and played in many games over there. Some were good, others died a slow and painful death. At present I'm running one game with people that proved to be very patient when I was going through some very harsh times. They stayed for months when I was homeless or (even worse!) internetless. Yet now, after all these years, I find myself at a point in time I thought was impossible to appear on my path. I come to the conclusion that I've lost enthusiasm for roleplaying.

I'm not really sure as for the whys or hows. Truth is, running a game on a forum requires commitment. It doesn't matter how you feel, sometimes you just have to sit down and write what you have to write. It's a very similar process as with writing anything. When you have deadlines, you work on meeting them whether you like it or not... and for a long time, that's what I did. I ran several other games before and I did actually have a time set up in the day to write what needed to be written. I kept to that time and there were days when I cursed myself for it and there were days when I was more than happy to see what came out of my, and my players', writing.

This is not how I feel today...

What I've described may seem tedious. That's because it is tedious. Roleplaying has become as much work as it was a fun past time. While this may seem like it was a problem, it wasn't a problem at all. I revelled in it and I was happy. Alas, today my feelings are much different.

I find myself waking up and I have some time to kill before work. I see there's work to be done on this game I'm running. I don't do it. Later on, I come back from work and while tired, I feel obliged to do some work on this game I'm running. I open the web-address and look at it. I don't do it. This is not to say I didn't do anything at all. I did update and clean up the game a few times but this is the worst part. When I actually did some work on it, I felt nothing... no frustration, no enthusiasm...

I don't think I burned myself out. I did a few times in the past when I had no idea what to do next and needed to take two weeks off to clear my head. No, I know what I want to do and I am sure I have the time to do it. What I think is happening is that I simply no longer care enough...

I have a theory that it's all because of a previous game I ran. It was an Exalted game, a system that is perhaps the closest I would say to being my favourite. I've been running that game for nearly three years and I was very proud of how it all went. The plots and the characters were marvellous. It was a real shame that I didn't manage to save all the data from it before it got deleted due to inactivity... but that's entirely my fault...

Thing is that now it seems like all the games I'm running just pale in comparison and I just can't get myself to create another game that would be as great and as fun as that one. So I'm left feeling inadequate for now and thus this feeling of mellowness is given rise.

In the end, I decided to make the hard choice of leaving forum roleplaying for the time being. I think I may see if the club I used to go to has any spaces in any games... maybe that will help me rekindle my gaming problems...

Fantasy RPG Class

The Spirit Reaper

25% Strength, 65% Bloodlust, 22% Intelligence, 12% Spirit, 25% Vitality and 40% Agility!

Masters of killing and evasion, the Spirit Reapers can easily eliminate any foe. A slash of of their weapon means certain death. All who stand before them fall in pain and defeat. Using their dark magic, Spirit Reapers can literally transform themselves into shadows and easily sneak up on their foes. The Spirit Reapers trap the souls of defeated enemies within their scythe so that they can summon those spirits in future battles. Creeeeeeeppppyyy! In addition, their weapon is able to absorb the energy and abilities of the people they have reaped. For example, if their scythe slashes through the soul of a spellcaster, their weapon will take on the magical properties and powers of that spellcaster. Spirit Reapers will often hunt down powerful magicians to collect an array of diverse and powerful forms of magic, and with enough magic at their command, Spirit Reapers will become deadly and virtually invincible warriors of darkness. In addition, the souls they've absorbed extend their own lifeline and can even be used as a sort of shield to bear the brunt of any attacks that come their way.

Congratulations on reaching this high class!

You have not mastered any Hidden Power granted by the Genie.

Take The Fantasy RPG Class Test

Game: Saint Christopher's Orphanage for Lost Children

So soon after another blog post... I suppose it's better for my blogging when my mind is not constrained by posting schedules or a list of topics to cover... instead, it just wanders freely through the labyrinthine maze of my consciousness... or maybe I'm just too bored and aimless as is the usual case this time of the year...

Either way, I ended up thinking about 2006. It was the year that I, as a stranger, entered a strange land... but there was still internet... and coupled with my natural tendency to create narratives, I recessed into gaming...

It so happened that in 2006 I attended DragonMeet... my first convention and an opportunity to meet a lot of the people who I've previously only spoken to online... It was a very fun time... fun enough that I went on a few more afterwards until I couldn't due to employment obligations...

I mention this because on our way back on the underground, Deoq has stated that he'd love to play in a Changeling The Lost game and I said that I could run one provided it would be online and through a forum. Thus I was running a rather enjoyable game... even years from now on, I still fondly remember it... but I still have to go and format the whole archive I have and while I do that, I thought I might as well expose you to all the strangeness that our collective minds created...

I expect many of you won't be able to follow the story that well since we were all somewhat familiar with the setting and terms used, thus many an explanation for the uninitiated has been omitted... but that's what the comment section is for... not that anybody uses it...

Without further ado, I present...

Saint Christopher's Orphanage for Lost Children
Chapter 1: Howls at Night

The above link should send you to the Google Document... I had some trouble editing it due to how it interprets tables and images... let's just say that it looks better in MS Word... but it's still fairly readable... I think... maybe...

All Good Things...

Some time ago I have decided to archive the games I ran online. I didn't want to lose them to sudden crashes or other strange things. Some of the games I ran required a lot of time and effort on my part and the thought of losing them started to scare me. I think of games like creating stories with friends whilst having a lot of fun. Just thinking about scenes and reading them again brings joy to my black bleeding heart. It is partly because of what Scribe Drizz is trying to achieve and partly because of my memories of running an Exalted game called United We Stand. It was a game about a group of Solars and their allies preparing a kingdom for war in the Hundred Kingdoms that were threatened by the machinations of a Deathlord. The game spanned about three years of my life when every evening I updated threads and talked with the players about what they want from it.

It was one of the games that I have been most proud of. Just like all good things it too came to an end without a finish. I have ran it on RPoL and they do not allow archiving games. So when the game was marked for deletion due to inactivity, I have began the process of copying and pasting all the threads to a doc file. With thousands upon thousands of words, I had a whole lot of copy/pasting to do. Then events in my offline life took a turn that required my attention. As it is with me, I do not consider gaming a big priority so I put off completing the copy/pasting for later. Life went on, I got on with the problems I was having and it all started to calm down.

I have to note that my life was so hectic lately that one of my good players started to honestly doubt I would ever start the game that I'm currently working at. I consider it a great fall from my former glory days.

Today I decided to pick up when I left on and I noticed that the game has been completely deleted. I know full well that I have no one to blame other than myself for this. I was really torn when I noticed this because on one side, it's just a game, on the other it's a game using my favourite system, played with a really great group of players and a game that taught me a lot about running games. Not to mention it actually let me say I have ran a game for three years when people say online games can only last for a few weeks before they die. It was proof of my Awesome.

and now it's gone...

I was contemplating what to do with this fact. If I want to continue archiving or just deleting what I had... and all things considered, I think I'll just use what I have and simply write out all I can remember that happened (and didn't happen) after I stopped archiving the game. It won't be as great as I had hoped.

In the end, after my rage and self-loathing subsided, I think all things considered I have made the right choice of focusing on issues that were gnawing at my life rather than on a game.

A lesson is learned for the future. I will have to archive the games that I'm currently running as they go. So I will have to find the time to start archiving The Emergence and Silverkeep now... and yes, Silverkeep will start, I do not want to be known for empty words...

Game Ideas

Whenever I talk with people about running games, I often hear about a common problem among us Game Masters. Mainly that of having way too many ideas for games but not enough time to run them all. Instead of waiting for those couple ideas I had to fade into nothingness, I thought I might as well put them here. This way at least I'll have them all in one place. So without further ado, here's what I'd like to run in the future...

System: Cat
This game would be set in a remote town somewhere, probably Alaska. The player characters find out that children are starting to grow very unemotional towards them but try to hide it in front of adults. Every night, when their parents think they're asleep, they sneak out and meet outside of town to chant in a low murmur, they never sleep. Through some sort of investigation, the player characters find out something is taking over the children's psyche when they dream. Now they have to search the Dream to find whatever is causing it and put an end to its evil schemes!

System: Exalted - The Alchemicals
Being Alchemicals, the characters would be industrial paragons of their nation. However, all signs show there is a threat of a Gremlin swarm led by a powerful smoke elemental. For this game I would like to use a very cyberpunk feel to the game, high level of artifacts, with people having many implants, the use of occasional jokes (like one antagonist having a split personality and bearing the names Window 1 and Window 2) and having fights in tunnels where gravity is relative.

System: Exalted - The Dragon-Blooded
The players would be a special forces team sent out on missions to further the interests of the Realm. Possible missions would be investigating strange cases in the Realm and reigning down the Realm's wrath on insurgencies in the Threshold. Between missions the player characters would have to deal with politics that either hinder or help their team, depending on their actions.

System: Exalted - The Infernals
This game would take place in a possible future of Creation where the Yozis have won. The Yozis' prison fused with Creation, allowing them to regain their rightful place in Yu-Shan. Yet their Infernal champions are still needed. Although many Exalts have fallen, selling out their Exaltations to the demons and thus becoming half-Infernals, the battle for Creation is still waged. Not every heroic soul was broken, some remain, desperately trying to fight in a world that hates and despises them. They are a far lesser concern than the Neverborn's armies growing in the shadow of the Reclamation. Soon a new war will be waged that will decide whether Hell on Earth will reign supreme or will existence itself be plunged into Oblivion.

System: Exalted - The Sidereals
This game would be about a group of Sidereal martial artists infiltrating and manipulating governments to their bureau's own ends. I would like to go on a more macro-scale with this or have the main plot take place in Nexus's criminal underground. I'd like to take inspiration from James Bond movies or films like The Avengers and XXX where there's one antagonist bent on destroying/taking over the world so I'm thinking either a Deathlord or some Raksha noble. Having players start with an additional 5 Martial Arts Charms is a must.

System: Hero System 6th Edition
When the Autobots boarded the Ark to find a new home, they were attacked by the Decepticons. The resulting battle damaged the ship so it crash landed on prehistoric Earth. After several millennia have passed, the volcano the ship ended up under erupted. It brought the ship online and it sent out a probe to look for life on the planet. Due to its definition of life excluding organic matter, it only scanned machines and based on their design, repaired the Transformers. Thus the story began... but in this alternate reality the Autobots were too damaged to be repaired so only Decepticons were brought back to life. Without a leader and stranded on an alien planet, they'll have to decide what to do next and fight for the little bit of Energon left. I imagine this game would deal with the sparsity of their energy sources and infighting between forming factions within their group.

System: Promethean The Created
Each of the player characters has a vision telling them to come to a cave. There they are greeted by a Quashmall who tells them of a Centimanus who is trying to combine the four aspects of the end into one being. It is now their duty to stop the creation of this entity. Their quest will bring them through regions of the world each embodying said four aspects: War, Pestilence, Famine and Death.

System: Savage Worlds
The players take on the roles of knights in service to the great King chosen by the gods to unite the land of Albion. The King possesses a powerful sword artifact but unfortunately, when word of invaders clad in the skins of beasts and wielding massive axes reach him, he decides to send his knights to parley with their warlord. As it turns out, the bloodthirsty barbarians are willing to talk... so they take their mechanical mounts, power armours and other inventions and go see what all the ruckus is about.

System: Savage Worlds
During the second world war, the Nazis have experimented with augmenting human beings into more resilient soldiers. Unfortunately, something went wrong and their latest experimentation camp blew up. Drafted to be soldiers or simply civilians caught in the crossfire, the player characters can't return to their lives because of their monstrous appearance so they have to hide away in the sewers while protecting the city above from the ravages of war.

System: Victoriana
When I first read about Victoriana I immediately had the idea to have players be planning one of the many rebellions Poland had during the times of occupation. Secret meetings, planning the proceedings, recruiting allies, avoiding the secret police, dealing with propaganda, etc. For the great finale, it's all or nothing! Best part? Other than tanks and soldiers with guns, you have to deal with beasts and magic.

Oh Dear...

You know how when you read you're supposed to be actually reading for your enjoyment... or that old meme that pops up every now and then about how you are able to read any word despite all but the first and last letters being completely mixed up?

Well... I've got a different problem... while I quite enjoyed Changeling The Lost... I felt compelled to grab a pen and note every single mistake I could find within the book on my first reading... which I then posted on the White Wolf Livejournal more than two years ago..

I might as well post the list here... just to illustrate how messed up I am...

30: „The Hedge can as easily manifest as immaculately landscaped Victorian hedgerows as it can ghastly stinking bogs where passage is marked (or hidden) by treacherous streches of murky water.”
33: „As a result, trusting another changeling or making a mutual pledge of friendship or alliance is an profound act that changelings do not take lightly.”
81: “He the puts one dot each into Intelligence and Resolve, which puts him squarely in the average in those areas.”
87: “Minor banes can be a painful aversion to the sound of church bells, exposure to wolfsbane or hearing a one’s name.”
126: “In general, though, images and symbols will mostly as they did in the dream (as with a changeling who assumes the “costume” of an entity in the dream), while an item will appear by and large as it did in the sleeper’s thoughts.”
127: “Hearth Contracts are a broad path of beneficial effects, boons that a changeling can grant to an individual or himself when he needs and extra edge of just a little bit of influence from something greater than himself.”
137: “Everyone else within range doubles all environmental penalties to Wits rolls involving perception, including Wits + Composure rolls, as well as Wits + Skill rolls to notice events or Wit’s + Investigation rolls to intentionally search for something.”
139: “The dice pool for this attack is Dexterity + Brawling + half of the character’s Wyrd.”
147: “Mortals can clearly see they are talking speaking to a creature of inhuman appearance, but this merely impresses them to the extent that mortal onlookers are incapable of attacking the character except in self-defense.”
164: “The caster knows the outcome of something random or similarly unknowable in her immediately vicinity, such as which of four streets the people she is pursuing fled down or which roll of scratch-tickets to buy to win between $10 and $25.”
164: “Each success reduces one die of ranged combat penalties normally due to the target’s distance (range penalties), position (such as being prone), size (for very small targets) or environmental factors such as darkness, snow, cover penalties or anything else that doesn’t directly work directly upon the changeling.”
176: “This is the not the full limit of the changeling’s pledges, however; other kinds of pledges may be invested into other aspects of the changeling, from his true name to his connections to mortals and the fae.”
176: “Though the changeling’s true name is shared by another, the changeling still have the right to swear oaths by it.”
196: “This is a process then can take days.”
201: “(though some particularly power tokens offer staggering shifts in perception)”
203: “Taking a pint of blood will, when drawn, causes one lethal point of damage (or one Vitae in the case of vampires).”
207: “The bump because to rupture within minutes, spilling out several insects or bugs – a small cloud of black flies, a dozen spiders or maybe a passel of centipedes.”
207: “However, the nightmares also confer the Phobia derangement (mild), with the focus being of that phobia being insects.”
214: “If multiple changelings are in the same area, they effects they have on the Hedge meld together in subtle ways, though the changeling with the highest Wyrd rating always has the greatest influence on the area (with one possible exception, discussed below).”
244: “Unless the players all decide to create Courtless characters of the beginning of the chronicle, the rebels’ ideology will probably seem to radical to the characters, and they’ll decline, which can make for a scene of good, tense diplomacy as they try to extract themselves from the rebels’ company now that the characters know the rebels’ plans.”
251: “The player can, of course, leave this entirely up to the Storyteller, under the rationale that the character probably knows nothing about her fetch, and this if fine, if the Storyteller is amenable to the extra work.”
253: “Experience plays a large role in development, and how could the experiences of an Fae-enslaved human and an Earthbound fetch possibly be the same?”
255: “Echoes, as the name implies, as powers based upon the fetch’s relationship with its changeling counterpart.”
257: “The fetch can enter the Hedge the same ways that a changeling can(see p. 216).”
257: “The fetch can only shadows only from living beings with souls.”
267: “Perhaps, when that byway is severed, the rest of the changelings will see realize the danger and see how effective it is to cut themselves off from the Hedge, and thus the Fair Lands, completely.”
273: “Although the True Fae often retain their ability to take on their natural form when out on the hunt or otherwise traveling in the human world, banished Fae no longer has this ability.”
276: “Regardless, the Noppera-Bo will use their human or changeling seeming to work their way into the company of a group, playing up their apparent weakness or injuries to full affect.”
315: “Some who discover their presence have begged to be in the order, and have are been chosen for if their talents at manipulating fear and generating terror are up to par (or at least have the potential to be) – but that is the exception to the rule, not the rule itself.”

yes, dear reader... I'm that sad...

Quotes

I do enjoy the quotes Qendi posts on his blog... so here are some of mine:

J1: So how do I knock someone unconscious in this system?
K: You knock them on the head

J2: I walk through the town and try to get a feeling for it
K: *scribbles down a note*
J2: *reads, looks at me* That bad?

M: You chew your way through into the building, there's a woman in the office you end up in and the door is closed. No matter what you do, you'll have to roll Dexterity + Stealth!
K: No matter what? Alright, I turn into a raven, fly up blocking the window and screech at the woman *rolls dice*, I got 1 success!

It's been so long...

I haven't posted in a while... mainly because at first I didn't have what to write about... at first... then everything blew out of proportion and I didn't have time to say anything...

After all the semester ending madness subsided, with me being sick for a week at the end and running madly to catch up... by the way, it is very unpleasant to have a rather nasty fever while there's a party downstairs... then I had a week to prepare myself for a journey to Poland.

I am too lazy to check if I said anything about it already but I am not going to apologise for repeating myself (my blog, I'll do whatever I want with it!): My dad had car issues and I had to deal with an insurance company, the repairs garage and the lack of communication between them. Later on I had to deal with the rental company too... and it all lasted a month at the end of which dad got a cheque (that had problems going to its destination) and a broken car so he had to buy a new one.

We were supposed to go to Poland by car but it broke down and couldn't be repairs so I had to buy myself a plane ticket and repack everything in my possession for that trip since my landlord decided he will be painting the house. That was not a nice day to have. At least I managed to buy cool toys for my little Siths :D

and then we had one week with parents, which was okay and then a week without parents, at the end of which I went to a con in Warsaw... I'll have the report posted soon enough with some seminar reviews/reports/stuff... naturally, I spent some time with Vegael, watching films and hanging out... he can still be annoying but he got me a really cool external hard-drive full of anime so I won't stab him... for now... oh... and he was happier about getting Darkly Dreaming Dexter than I expected...

In the recent weeks I spent a lot of time with the Godmother of my oldest Sith Apprentice. She's a fun gal and we hanged out in town, the streets, the malls, the parks... we even saw Terminator Salvation together... and I cried, it was such a moving film... I'm a terrible wuss...

Last time we were out together some drunk guy wanted money from us... even though we refused, he kept following us until he grabbed her by the arm... and I had to be MANLY... apparently, my manliness causes people to give up... then we went to eat some kebab... and I had a chuckle when she ordered a kebab without kebab...

Other than that, I borrowed a book on Shamanism and Hungarians from Książnica Podlaska's director... my poetry book is starting to look like reality, finally... I will have a print run of 300 copies.

I regained the ability to use maps in my online games... which makes combat all the more enjoyable... I like it when players have to decide between a Move and a Dash, who to attack and where to place themselves from tick to tick...

I might be running yet another Exalted game though this time it will not be on RPoL and it will involve different things from player characters... seduction and torture will be a more viable part of it than in United We Stand...

First episode of mine and Daniel's podcast... where we topple how to make a campaign using one of mine as an example (Saint Christopher's Orphanage for Lost Children!)... has been recorded... four more to go and we'll be looking at releasing them to the public...

and I think that's all... I better go write some emails to people... oh... and I might put something on DeviantArt... some character fiction at least...

I haven't made a proper entry in ages... partly because I spent the time moving posts from Livejournal to this place... and partly because I'm trying to stop posting how negative I feel about absolutely everything...

so without making this post deeply philosophical and negative, let's have a look at what's buzzing in my head

I started to regularly play on Saturdays. The games alternate between Scion run by me (The Stoicheion Pentagram) and In Nomine not run by me. Same group for both, the GM of In Nomine is a cool guy, like the rest of the group... it's a relaxing experience and it actually gives me energy to be more productive during the week... strange...

I'm writing up a play report from those Scion sessions, which goes very slowly. Especially this week when I have to deal with writing a literature review for Higher Education...

The research projects aren't going too bad, even though I keep hitting myself on the head for not making more progress than I'm doing. I keep feeling like if I were to stop being lazy, I would have it all done by now... even though the due dates are in June... but that's me being me...

United We Stand goes well. We had a rough patch earlier this month but it seems like we prevailed, once again. I'm really proud of that game... I even make a wiki for it on Obsidian Portal and put there what I had in my notes. It's not much but I hope my players will contribute, it's a wiki, right? I'm summarising the threads and building up a network for the wiki pages but it's going even slower than The Stoicheion Pentagram.

Another thing that I'm working on is making posts for Alea Iacta Est. How fast am I making them? The last post, about 700 words, I wrote up in two weeks... and I can type fast... funnily enough, since I posted a link to the Blog Carnival, my traffic went up to 21 views yesterday... I have some other posts saved in drafts, only one is finished and it's really short...

including the super secret project (which had a little setback that the Team is trying to destroy), it may seem like I am focusing too much on roleplaying related stuff... I don't think so, most of my time is still spent studying... I just don't feel any confidence in my research projects... I might be even focusing too much on one project at the expense of my other two...

My heart really isn't in studying right now. I don't know why, I never felt this down about it in my life... I'm sure I get over it, I'll read and write what I'm supposed to and get whatever grades I get... it's just the next step that's really scary...

There's a DnD 4th Edition day tomorrow at the Roleplaying Club I go to... now I'm wondering if I should go... I just don't feel like I deserve it...

Will I ever stop being this much of a workaholic? Unlikely...
Will I ever stop being such a wuss and cry-baby? Even less likely...

Scion Quotes

"How big is this Tiamat?"
"Taking into account that after defeating her, Marduk split her in half and created the Earth and Sky from those two halves, I presume she's very, very big."

"Okay, the wind is so strong that it might pick you up. Roll Stamina+Fortitude to resist... okay, you're starting to float into the sandstorm."
"I grab her hand!"
"You got yourself a human balloon."

"Physics don't work like that."
"Physics doesn't apply to me because I'm Awesome!"

"But if he throws the lion at the griffin which is holding you up in the air, both Titanspawn will end up on top of you!"
"I can take it, I have fucking Endurance!"

Idea: +Exposition

I once again had a very strange idea...

I started making summaries of United We Stand threads. I haven't done them in a while but that's beside the point. Those summaries are based on a very simple assumption: the reader knows Exalted. That assumption is a result of playing a roleplaying game. We familiarise ourselves with the game world, make characters that fit into that world and run with it. An outside reader thus can't make sense of what is happening because there is no exposition within the game (and the summaries)... my crazy idea is: what if I were to add that exposition in the process of editing the threads instead of making summaries!

That would take a lot of work. I most likely would have to add NPC scenes that the players weren't aware of but that is more of a plus side, added content is always fun...

Editing them in such a way would also enable non-Exalted readers to familiarise themselves with the setting, or at least the part we are using, and I could show it off to people who aren't into Exalted or just didn't read the book...

It would be a massive undertaking... it would take me months to finish... but it would be worth it... I must ponder this further...

Know Thy Game

During my usual rambling of nonsense, I've been told something that made me think.
Everybody knows what game they know best... and like always, I don't accept myself as part of that group.

A statement was made: I must know Exalted better than Mage
Since I claimed that there is no measure of how well you can know a game, I've been informed that I do know what game I have read more and which I played more (all contributing to the knowledge of a game) so it follows I know Exalted better than Mage.

And yet, I feel unconvinced by this argument.
It is true that I read more Exalted books than Mage books and I played/run Exalted more.
If you were to ask me a question about Mage, I'd need to first look into a book. However, if you were to ask me a question about Exalted, I'd need to first look into a book... it happens more often that you think...

Just the other day I was asked what a player should roll to remember an information from their past incarnation's memory. So I guessed that would be Intelligence + Lore, then I looked at some Merit to find if there are any modifiers for that sort of roll. I found none, so I made them up.

Another player asked me if there are any smoke bombs in Exalted. I said yes so he asked about the book with them. To which my reply was: "I don't know, I made that up."

You might say that since I've had to read any and all information about the setting and use them regularly in the game I run, that I know it better. While it is true that I know every kingdom there is in the area we are playing in, what their political situation is, recent history, rulers, culture, military activity, the powers behind the scenes, the Essence lines, the history of the place, etc. and I know it all because... I made it up. All I could find in the official material is that there are hundred kingdoms in the area and they export food everywhere. You might say that I'm not running Exalted in its setting since the Hundred Kingdoms are said to rarely go to battle, whilst in the game I run, they are on the brink of a full blown out war with one another.

Since I know what Mage is about, its theme and mood, I read the base setting and I can refer to the book. I'll take those things, that feel of the game and add my own details. Just like I did with the Exalted game I run. As such I don't feel I know Mage any less than I know Exalted. Especially since there's a ton of people who answer questions about both games that I had no clue someone would ask.

Memorising the setting and mechanics is just not fun to me. I do fine with an excel sheet to do the math and a doc file to store the additional information so I don't have to remember it. I have a lousy memory so it often happens that I need to look into the rules for one thing twice in a game session... unless the player remembers it from before.

Setting discussion and mechanical optimisation of characters just bores me. I don't like anything that adds to the mechanics because that only ends up making my gaming experience less fun. In a game I don't look for either a simple or complex dice engine, neither to I crave for a rich setting of lack thereof (Scion!)... all I want is something to stimulate my imagination and that is easily achieved.

My conclusion would probably be that I wouldn't consider myself knowing one game better than the other. It might be bullshit on my part but yeah, I just don't see it...

Preferring one game over the other, now that's a different matter ;)

DragonMeet 2008

The convention took place on the 29th November 2008 in Kensington Town Hall!

The previous day I had a Dane arrive at my doorstep. He didn't have the best trip considering the cab took him too far into the street I lived on and when going back, he missed my house thus being slightly confused as to where does the Pole live! He went onto another street and back before finding my place of residence, without saying much, he was tired!

Naturally, promethean_lord was given the proper treatment of spaghetti bolognese. Since he was kind enough to bring with him Danish chocolates for me, I treated him to Polish vodka! European traditions galore! We watched Hot Fuzz and then went to bed.

The next morning it was time for DragonMeet. I made myself a sandwich and was eating it while the Dane woke up. We called the cab at 8am, it arrived a bit early so I had to throw my sandwich away. I took it outside, but being inexperienced with cabs I had no idea you can't eat in one, I managed to take a huge bite out of it though. When we were about to stop at the station, promethean_lord noticed he forgot his wallet, so we had to turn around as there is no point going on a convention if you can't buy anything! The driver amused us with a story of a Polish military ship being stationed in the port here at Brighton when he was little, a story which not many know about, while we tried to explain to him what roleplaying was (he thought in the cop/nurse kind of way, the kinky bastard!). We were running late, so I told him to run and I went off, apparently I'm faster. The tickets were bought and we caught our train to Victioria! In all this madness I forgot to ask the taxi driver about student discounts... I suck, I know...

At Victoria we needed to go to the underground and find a ticket machine because the one I usually used was out of order. We found one soon enough and located the correct platform (there was a moment of We sense you, Roleplayer on the station). Then we had to wait in High Street Kensington for the rest of the crew. We were soon met by Insane Prophet and Afrohead, we had a discussion on how Deoq sucks for not replying to us contacting him! After Mithras and his friend, Cristian, arrived we had another goal! We had to locate cash machines to get some money and go to Tesco for breakfast... because not everyone has a sandwich in the morning like I do!

People bought tickets, I ordered two from the internet (2 pounds cheaper that way). We entered and went straight to the buy stuff area. It was fun to get game books and dice, look at what's available, talk with the people responsible for our quickly dissipating money and things like that. After a while, we came back together and took a table for ourselves to play a game! For a while the table was used for reading through our purchases due to Mithras and Cristian not being able to locate the room upstairs, I went down to get them and made evil looking gestures while they couldn't get out of conversations with Mithras's friends (who apparently are at University of Sussex on the other side of the street to my campus and they have a roleplay gathering just at the exact time I have a very long break between lectures! I was invited to find them.)

Finally, after everyone was gathered, I run Scion Hero for the group.

You can find the pictures with captions from the game on Flickr, here are the links:
Thumbs up, Use the Force, Roll Out!, Scion Hero, Geeks, Green, Dice, Giant or Halfling?, Ready When You Are, Sacrifice, Reading, Annoyed, Death, Inevitable, Rules-lawyer, Frog Bashing, Hello?, Wow!, Explanation, Aim and Shoot, Metagaming, Surprise, Make Love not War, Chatter Stop!, Trinket

Some of the game highlights were (feel free to add yours in the comments, I can always edit this post):
1) promethean_lord shooting a pesky NPC with his love gun, resulting in a very horny lady out to get the only female PC! Unfortunately, we didn't get to Lesbian Pr0n!!!
2) Mithras being so annoyed by his character not hitting a giant frog monster that he used all possible means to get successes on one roll which resulted in him cutting off the monster's limb and smashing it to death with the severed appendage!
3) A sudden attack by ninjas in the middle of a desert!
4) Revamp calling and texting us after he woke up at 3pm in Cambridge, at one point I just switched my phone off...

Mithras and Cristian had to leave so we quickly wrapped up the game with a Deus Ex Machina on part of Loki. Mithras shot him, but the God took the bullet out of the air and gave it back to him in the form of a flower!

Next up there was some dice buying and praying one of us would win something in the ticket lottery! Afrohead told us about his dream of building a temple made out of dice. Revamp appeared! We found dice that had a frog image on one side and decided we all should get one for memories' sake!

After that we went to the underground station, said our farewells and returned home. Nothing special on the way back, other than a guy on the train who kept staring at me and promethean_lord for some arcane reason. Then a walk from the station to my abode. Finally, a pizza whilst we watch The Gamers 2: Dorkness Rising to end the gaming day!

The next day we made a video where we showed off our purchases and made some comments about things that transpired.

Readership

There's one problem that I'm having with writing for Azylum. I read posts on other similar sites and the comment section really shows what kind of Poles read the stuff I'm writing. It's full of bickering, accusations and vitriol. Every time I sat down to write something fun, to contribute to the abysmal happenings in the WoD-PL scene, those comments appear in my head (and they're not even directed at me) and I feel discouraged from writing.

It's funny how this is true only to the PL side, when I post something in ENG, everyone is nice even if they don't agree with me. It's like in the ENG sphere people just want to have fun, of course, there are exception but they're still in the minority. The opposite is true in PL. Right now, the only thing keeping me in Azylum are the people behind it. A nice bunch, it's why I try to contribute in hopes that site will keep running. At the same time, I hope it will reach a point where it'll grow to the extent where one person leaving won't cause it to die...

I think I made myself sound important... I don't like that...

Now that I think about it, it's funny how Christian felt the same way (at least I think that's how he felt) about posting on the WW forum...

Just Imagine

October, time to get a bit creative.
How much creativity are we talking about? I'll know after the academic year starts for sure.

I'm in the process of setting up a blog. My first serious venture into RPG blogging. I hope to buy server space from somewhere. For now I've only played on the Wordpress site, where the beta blog is currently at. Needs a better CSS sheet but I have little experience with those things. This in no way discourages me from creating content! First of which needs to be a post on what the oblivion is an RPG.

Again, it's October! Thus it's time to work out an outline and character profiles for my NaNoWriMo novel. In fact, I hardly have anything for it. I like me a challenge... though I still don't expect to write a 50000 novel. The only thing I know about this Story is that it revolves around the idea of sin... and there will be gore... you like people dying en masse, don't you?

I have also been asked to participate in a Changeling event on Asylum which requires me to write as much Changeling The Lost things as physically and mentally possible... and those will be released in English in due time.

I'm also trying to negotiate some translations... not as creative, but it's still something...

Lastly, I'm part of a secret project that I should not be talking about at all because it's such a big secret that ninjas will come to kill me if I do but I'm so awesome I'll kill them before and after they kill me...

I haven't written anything in quite a substantial amount of time... so here goes nothing...

I'm now a Godfather and I have in plans making a video with pictures of the event... I'm amazed at how my mind is able to go from not knowing why I joined YouTube due to not having any ideas for videos to having a dozen ideas just by making one video... my creativity astonishes even myself...

Shortly after the Orthodox Christmas (which I could finally spend with my family unlike the previous year) I went back to England. Naturally, my laptop was somehow misplaced at the repairs so I had nothing to work on for a week. This was during assignment month thus it caused a lot of angst and anxiety to gather. There were computers I could work on in the university's library but I hate the atmosphere there...

With the start of the New Year, I begot a new project. Vampir's Writing Monthly which is a mere list of email addresses to which I send out some of my writing each month. I originally intended it to be just for the selected few of whom I knew they'd enjoy something like this. After a while, I decided to change that and put up a thread about it... suddenly I have 30 people on my list... now this is really going to make me write regularly.

After I regained my laptop it was not so difficult to get myself into the essay writing mood. Thus I've created an essay analysing language use in a lego catalogue and another on the whole polysemy vs monosemy of modal verbs in English semi-flamewar... I can't say I'm proud of either but they were the best I could come up with considering the circumstances.

I'm noticing that I really do not fit into the Polish RPG community. They are focused on rules to the extent I find plainly degrading. I always found that the moment you apply physics and whatever laws you can think of into a game, you stop playing it... and a roleplaying game is kind of pointless if you aren't playing it... This of course makes writing for the websites a bit harder... I guess my view of rpg rules is more in terms of guidelines rather than laws, it might be an incorrect view but with the way people regard me when I'm making a new game or running one, I come to believe I'm doing what I'm supposed to do.
Making a game enjoyable...

I've created a Scion game called The Second Age of Myth. It sort of becomes my theme for my games to attract attention. I'm amazed when I'm telling someone I'd rather not see them in this game due to how they left one I was running previously and instead of being offended and telling me off, they calmly explain themselves and say they really want to be in my game because of my storytelling. I know this is going to sound egocentric, but I'm really glad people enjoy what I create... and want to see more...

Apparently, since I find this to be funnier than this, I'm immature and not intelligent enough to laugh at jokes above farts...

My sister sent me DVDs of One Piece... 133 episodes... I think I may be in Heaven...

Scion Hero

My friend just left from a one-on-one session of Scion Hero where he played Shon Larson, a government agent who was fired due to unconventional ways of getting things done. The following is a log of what happened during the session, I hope to write a more coherent fiction piece based on it but here is the gist for now. Enjoy!

When Shon Larson was having a drink in his favourite pub, he got word from the bartender that a certain fellow was looking for someone of his talent to do some work. Since the bartender's contacts included mythological connections, Shon's curiosity took the better of him and so he was waiting the next day to meet with the man.

His wait wasn't long as he noted a silence creeping over the pub when two men in suits entered followed by a man with a strange radiant presence. Nearly immediately he went over to Shon and they had a talk. The man's name was Alexander Sonne, a drug lord here in New York and an Alfar trying to gain more power by using addicts as his worshippers. He told Shon of a problem he had with a new drug coming to the market. People called it Red Rage and it seemed highly addictive. Shon agreed to help the Alfar in return for money, which he received $10,000 up front.

After the discussion he rode his motorcycle to Queens. An hour of searching later he found someone who looked like a drug dealer so he went up to him and through discussion and some subterfuge, coerced the guy that he was indeed a confused addict looking for a way to lose some cash. While the exchange took place, he slipped a tracking device onto the guy. Having gotten the drug, he gave it to his friend for analysis and called it a day.

He received the call from his friend the next morning. Apparently, the pills contained erythrocytes, leukocytes, thrombocytes and eptifibatide. The last of which he instantly knew was an anti-thrombocytes drug. What's more, the DNA didn't match any animal nor human DNA sample. The discussion had to end so Shon went to follow the dealer around.

Before nightfall Shon gathered enough information to know that the dealer is getting his supplies from an old warehouse at the docks. Now that he sneaked inside, it was obvious it wasn't empty. It was full of crates filled with Red Rage pills. As he went further inside, trying to remain unnoticeable, he saw various people putting the crates here and there as they were being told by one very big individual. Said person started sniffing the air like a bloodhound, Shon's instinct told him he would need a distraction fast or else he'll be detected. He noticed one worker having a smoke, it gave him an idea. When he was throwing away the match, Shon made it so that the fire would burn for a longer time. The flaming match landed on the head of another worker, who went berserk and started fighting the other. Their fight caused some of the crates to fall and the floor was quickly filled with pills which made others fall down. Madness ensues as Shon entered an office space. Inside he found some documents about a small shipment of eptifibatide from the New York University Medical Center and a few bank details which showed bribes being given. He planted a fire here too before leaving but was met by an overly large man on fire. With flames and people running away it was hard to get one's head over the situation. Shon didn't even notice as the man blew a column of fire at him from his mouth. A column which refused to harm the Scion. Knowing he won't win, he tried to make his escape by slipping underneath the giant but he was grabbed by the leg and lifted up. He managed to take out his pistol and shot the bastard who released him in a surge of pain. A minute later, Shon was nowhere to be seen.

The night was still young so Shon went ahead to meet the doctor who was listed in the papers he found. It wasn't hard to go unnoticed in the crowd of patients and doctors, soon he found the office of the doctor and entered. She tried to fool him when he asked about the drug but having a gun works great for intimidation. She told him she was taking blood from people with the gigantism condition. They came willingly and it seemed like easy money so she took it. The next batch would be given the next day at midnight. Pleased with the information, Shon hit the woman unconscious and staged a fire coming from her computer. He made his leave with the rest of the evacuating people.

After hearing the news about his latest exploits, he waited for midnight. He was already at the Center, patiently waiting for the people to come to the designated spot. Since the doctor died yesterday, they had to take the blood out by stealth and Shon followed but not before planting a bug on their car. They led him downstairs to the research area where they took a mobile refrigerator, filled it with the blood and went back to the car. After that they met an overly large man in a park whom they gave the box. Shon decided to follow the man to the underground where the fellow jumped on the tracks, went further into the tunnel and disappeared after going through a wall. Naturally, Shon followed and found himself in a room made out of wax, human skulls and skin with the giant about to fill empty pills with the blood. He wasn't happy with the unexpected visitor so he stood up and got shot in the knees by Shon's quick hand. He fell to the ground, tried to grab the Scion but failed as he jumped out of reach. The giant then tried to throw the box at him but likewise failed. He lied there without anything to do but be mad while Shon had some questions he wanted answered.

I'm not overly pleased with how it went. I originally wanted to have a scene where Shon would see what the effects of the drug on people are but he seemed uninterested in investigating that so I went with his wishes.
I also need to thank MrGone who made an awesome Scion Sheet that I had the pleasure to use.

DragonMeet 2007

As some of you may already know, Saturday saw DragonMeet held in London. Much like the previous year, I went there to meet a lot of other people. This time around, our group was larger by two more. Mainly Mithras and AfroHead, a player from Saint Christopher's Orphanage for Lost Children. Including me, Insane Prophet, Deoq and Revamp there were six of us in total.

Luckily, this year I turned up on time. Having learned my lesson, I checked when the trains arrive at Victoria before going to the train station. In this way I turned up on time (after covering 3 miles in 40 minutes with my feet!) although I had some confusion as Revamp called me when I was about to get off and wasn't sure what he was saying. It's funny that way, I always seem to have trouble talking over the phone... Anyway! It appeared he called to tell me he would be late, which none of us was surprised to learn. Then after some texting, I found the rest of the group! For a moment, I thought AfroHead was Revamp. This is proof showing how bad my mind can be at times!

Next on the schedule was the trip to Kensington. Unfortunately, the queue in the Underground was too big for us to stand there. But hope was given in the form of Deoq's leadership skills which brought us to an appropriate bus stop. In the bus I learned that Mithras didn't expect my voice to be that deep... thus we arrived at DragonMeet 2007! (Where Revamp was already waiting for us, and he looked good, I can tell you that!)

It was excellent. I found a neat software called Campaign Cartographer 3, it would do wonders for my online games, especially for United We Stand which needs maps on a regular basis. I've wanted to pick up Winter Masques so I had something to add to Lost in Miami (especially considering the players asked) but it was sold out before I got the chance. Thus I ended up buying Changing Breeds and Oadenol's Codex. Excellent books I must say, Changing Breeds makes me want to have a one-on-one as a shifter. As for the latter, it's Exalted so it not only helps fleshing out the world in my other game but I just like Exalted very much. I've also bought Game Night by Jonny Nexus, although I promised myself not to buy any more books before I read those that I have already. But!!!! The contract has a clause which makes an exception for signed literary works! Lastly, there was this big Star Wars figure that I bought for Insane Prophet because I am still grateful for him giving me Vampire The Requiem for Christmas last year...

We played Warhammer this year. Although there was some interest for Scion in the group, the places were up after we got back from our eating break at the church bench! The game was quite good, very investigative but it confused me a lot. Unfortunately, I was the Sergeant so it was quite bothersome. It was all my fault, I'm just unused to making notes whilst gaming but at least I didn't keep falling asleep like Revamp! Really, it was a pleasurable game and I was far more active and less shy than the previous year. I'm doing progress!

Such fine sessions only make me regret the fact I don't have a job. If I had some disposable income, I'm sure I could budget myself in a way that would allow for planned bi-weekly trips to London for gaming with the Londoners. I could even storytell some Scion or Exalted for them if they so wished. I even have an idea, since there were empty tables at DragonMeet, I think it might be in the realms of possibility to storytell a game for the rest during next year's convention. Though I might gather an even larger crowd by then so Insane Prophet and I might have to split them into two groups or just have a few go check out some other games.

The day ended with most of us being forced to take free dice! With shouted proclamations of freedom and which of our pockets were not full we jumped on them like wild beasts! I ended up bringing 140 dice with me... and I bought my first dice bag earlier!

Once again, another convention well spent!

Long Time no Post

I'm amazed, it's been getting increasingly busier for me with each passing second. I have to admit that I kinda like it since I always been the organising type.
Now, what have I been doing?

Naturally, tending to my 3 online games and having this idea for a Scion game but I'm afraid I just won't have time for now. I'm happy with how Lost in Miami is turning out and am a bit worried about United We Stand, as for St Christopher's Orphanage, it's only natural that it goes slow as most of the players have to deal with university applications if my memory serves right.

Another RPG related stuff is me writing up an NPC (Seven might remember it from the MSN game we had a long, long time ago...) for Oneiros and now I need to modify my Cyberian Lineage Version-PL so it actually is in Polish. Apparently, I'm better in English than in my primary language. From now on I'll be writing in Polish and then translating things into English, that way it should be a purer version of Polish and I won't look like such an idiot. I had to write a review of World of Darkness too and I have to say that I hate writing reviews. I wrote one but apparently it needs to be made differently so back to the drawing board!
I normally would not write something I don't like writing, but as long as I get a Free Book, I'm willing to go the extra mile.
Since I started talking about my texts and what mistakes are being done, I have to wonder time and time again why the person behind Oneiros asked me to join... doesn't make sense...
I would like to take the time to thank Wyrm for the editing he did of my Cyberian Lineage. Even though I am competent with the spelling, proof-reading of your own work doesn't give the same results as doing the same to someone's else.

Since we are on the topic of writing, I don't think I can participate in NaNoWriMo this year. I'm just too annoyed with the so called tips people are giving. I know it's about word count, but even though I'm not the best writer on the planet, I am not going to actively try and write just for words. I will write the way that I know is best even though it might not be a universal excellence. Even failure of not reaching the 50k word count is nothing compared to producing a novel I would know people would not like. I am critical of my work, everyone knows I'm never satisfied with my work so I try to take it to the next step all the time and I cannot change that in any way. Either I'm going to write a good piece of fiction or none at all.

Naturally, I told a few of you that I will let everyone read what I created for this month. Unfortunately, since that's not happening, I have a different solution. Once a month I will send out an email to interested individuals. It will contain an attached .doc file with a short description of what's the piece about. That way, if you don't like a particular subject, you can just not read it and anything that might interest you will be open for perusal. Much like Wyrm's Sunday Music but for the literate! It will most certainly contain such things as poetry, novel chapters, short scene descriptions (something like a cool scene idea intended for practice), stories, rpg-related fiction, etc. All coming out of the depths of my dark and twisted mind.
Yes, there will be some pr0n in there too!

On Thursday I have the Open Mic Night at our University. Naturally, as I did get one of the highest poetry entry scores last year, I'm expected to come and defend the title. Now I'm heading to the stage where I'm not following the standard but creating it!
Still, the prospect of reading it aloud petrifies me...

Lastly, it's less than a week before I go to London and see such fine individuals as Deoq, Insane Prophet and Revamp. Thus hitting DragonMeet 2007!