Sunday, 6 April 2008

Answers

I called a friend today and an interesting question came up. She's really down because she doesn't know what to do with herself now so she asked:

1. Do I know what I want to do in life?
2. Do I miss my country?

The answers, like always, just dragged me down...

1. I think I know where my life is heading. There are some prospects for me, like my tutor said: I could travel the world as an English teacher. I could technically go to any country and teach English there but it's just not what I thought would be happening. I always thought that by this time I would be planning on having a family, instead I constantly prove to myself I'm incapable of living with anyone but myself and that I keep dragging myself into work thus not seeing anything outside of that concept. Meanwhile, all the people I know have someone, some are thinking of marriage, while one of them has a baby. I bury myself in books and pretend I don't exist...

2. No. There's nothing holding me here, nor to any other place in the world. I never felt like I belong and neither do I feel that now. In a way I don't feel as if I changed, but I did change. I learned that life is not worth living and that I should not go against who I am. So I stopped rejecting my hate towards people, their stupidity and their egoism...

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