Week 4: Apathy

The modern Void

This was supposed to be a week for me to sort things out. Suffice to say, it didn't go as planned. I think the reality of the situation has finally dawned upon me and I'm struggling to keep myself upright against the weight of it all.

Since my phone calls for Universal Credit were unsuccessful, I hoped looking for a job would help me gain some income while the lockdown is still in place. I could hardly find anything to apply for. Even the few positions I had applied for wouldn't earn me enough income to actually get by. I tried to get my mind off that worry by cleaning and organising my living space. I then realised too late I ran out of kitchen towels. I thought I had one more spare but no. After suddenly being unable to continue with my plans, I ended up wasting time on YouTube and uploading card scans to Tabletop Simulator so I could waste even more time on playing some game.

Even the game I started to run this week had issues. I was now plagued with internet connectivity issues despited having "super fast broadband". I managed to save it by streaming my screen instead of having people join the table online but I was still upset at another plan of mine not working despite preparations. I am the sort of person who prepares for difficulties and I tested earlier if my connection could handle people in game. I had no problems until now, somehow.

With my mood plummeting, I had no energy left to attend to neither my violin nor my painting desk. Both of which keep gathering dust...