I learned something disconcerting about myself when I started thinking about my future plans.
I don't think that in this context I worry too much as I often do. I suppose we all think of where we're heading and what would be the best course of action. Decisions about education and choice of career, where to fit a hobby and entertainment in a busy lifestyle.
Right now I'm studying.
Before the northern hemisphere goes into summer, I hope to become a Bachelor of Linguistics.
During the summer I intend to take up a course that will give me teaching qualifications.
Then I'll wrest the demons of language to prove I'm worthy of the title, Master of Linguistics.
When that milestone is reached, I'd like to go to Germany (or Austria, hint!) to teach English and polish my German.
After a year, I was thinking of taking up an Open University course (it's like higher education over the internet) in Philosophy.
Although it so happens that I'd like to be a Doctor of Linguistics, so I think I'll spend two years familiarising myself with the linguistic community by reading journals and blogs to keep my knowledge fresh.
I suspect the Doctorate will halt my progress in Philosophy but that's fine with me, I'm patient like that.
On the other side of things there's my inherent creativity!
I want to spend the first year of my employment on saving up enough money to go see GenCon and possibly meet those Americans I talk to online.
I'm running online games, that won't stop.
I'm writing rp material.
I'll start a roleplaying blog with the start of 2009.
I want to try some more games.
I want to write books.
I want to practice drawing and try my hand at a webcomic one day.
I would say those are the two main aspects of my life but they are hardly the only ones.
So many things I want to learn: dancing (classical dance, because that thing people mean when they say everyone can dance is not dancing), martial arts, playing the violin, languages (I'm not going to stop on German), PHP, CSS...
and things that hold my interest in reading: mythology, philosophy, linguistics, folklore, fantasy, science fiction, sociology, theology, horror...
I love learning.
I love imagination.
I love art.
The only thing that really worries me is that I'm becoming self centred. I'm walking away from those years of waiting for a bright light to shine and take me out of misery because I no longer believe in that being possible. The question currently roaming through the vast expenses of my mind is quite simple: Is self improvement the way to being alone?
On one hand, I can see how many of the things I'm interested in can enhance my social experience.
On the other, I fear that I'll make myself into a workaholic.