Wednesday, 25 May 2016

Weird

I've been called a lot of things during my lifetime. Some more savoury than others. One thing that generally remains a constant is how people call me weird or strange.

weird? more like: bizzare
This is hardly surprising since I've always been a strong proponent of individuality and not comforming to social expectations as a way to fit in. What surprised me lately is how a good friend told me he had the impression I'm trying too hard to be weird.

I was tremendously surprised by this revelation. It's not the first time someone would accuse me of actively trying to be different. As if my whole personal identity depends on the concept of not fitting in. Oftentimes, I take these sort of remarks as an indicative of someone who bends under social pressure to conform to his surroundings. In a way, it's a valid survival tactic and living in a society requires following certain social norms... but your interests, and mine, are not one of these.

I will not engage in an activity I get nothing out of just because someone else does. Likewise, I don't require people give up their activities and pick up mine. When I invite people over to play some games and they'll turn the invitation down, I don't throw up a fuss. So it's unsightly to me when someone invites me to get drunk and my refusal is taken like a personal insult.

I like going out with people who share my interests. I'll attend events and conventions that I find interesting and avoid those that I find dull. I have never gone to a convention only to find that I suddenly hate everything about it and am a totally different person. No, wherever I go, whoever I'm with, I just want to be accepted as being myself without having to put on a false visage only to make myself fit in for a fleeting moment.

What am I supposed to do afterwards? When the veneer fades, I'm just left exhausted. I had no fun pretending to be someone else. Building a friendship based on a lie never works out. The only lasting effect is wasted time.

Most people want to fit in in some way. I want the same. I want to be around people who won't think it's morally wrong to watch anime, like Transformers or be interested in superheroes. I don't want to be laughed at nor told how I should live my life. I just want to have fun.

So when it comes to being around people to whom I either have to lie or stay silent to avoid being ridiculed, I'd rather leave and not turn back...

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