Among the many words that were used to describe me, some of them dealt with my skill with the written word.
Time is an issue but the lack thereof is no excuse. I, as many other would-be writers, often fall into the trap of editting rather than writing. It's the bad habit of focusing on a page that has been writing at the cost of writing more. Editting should be left for last, after all is written, so they say.
However, that's not my problem. I know I can find the time to write and I've been progressing well with writing instead of editting. Especially now that I stopped creating RPG campaigns and scenarios, so my creativity flows into characters and plots for use in stories.
What keeps me from writing as I should is that I've started to feel as if my thoughts became this unruly and disorganised mess. Whenever I dig through my ideas, and sort out themes and plots, I have the nagging feeling of nothing making sense. I look at what I wrote: beginning, middle and end... and it seems wrong. It's akin to having a deck of cards thrown up into the air and looking at how neatly organised it is lying on the floor.
It wouldn't be a problem if it happened post-writing, that's what editting is for. Unfortunately, I'm feeling this way when I form something as simple as a series of events. I think of things happening and how they lead into other events and actions... but it all feels wrong, somehow... and I simply can't place it.
It's an issue of form. I have ideas, too many at times, but I doubt my ability to make them coherent; to present a thought in a manner that can be understand, to extrapolate it further within the body of the text and to end it with a semi-finality.
This craft that I had, mayhap I've lost it, or am I simply mad?