Friday, 28 February 2014


Nearly every day I log into the great digital depths of the internet, I am met with some form of information on how badly women are treated. Some articles point out all the micro- and macro-agressions women are met with on a daily basis. Others focus on how there's a prevalent rape-culture in our society that puts all the blame of rape on the victim. Objectification of women seems to be so prevalent that we don't even register it as anything out of the norm and we need a gender role-reversal video to actually see that there's something wrong with how we treat people.

At times, when I read these I can't help but be reminded of some of the things the women I've met have told me. Whenever I hear these words repeated in my mind, I'm more and more convinced the blame for this social problem plaguing us is not just a simple matter of one gender exerting control over the other. It is, in fact, much worse.

'I like him but I told him no. If he likes me enough, he'll come find me again.'

Why can't men take no for an answer? Because no is propagated as a test rather than an answer. I never liked this idea of how I should always harass a woman after she turns me down. Apparently, it's a sign of a very strong love. No, it isn't and it shouldn't be made to be so. Ignoring another person's wishes is a clear sign of disrespect; that you do not care what they have to say because what you want is more important. Moreover, if a person doesn't mean no by saying no, that means they're lying. I honestly never thought of liars as good partners for anything.

'Just pretend you want to have sex. Every girl does that.'

Nothing says I love you more than Take off your panties. All right, I'm still getting to grips with how sex is part of love but I doubt I'll be able to put sex above love any time soon. I'm not really sure what's so bad about doing stuff together outside the bedroom, like watching TV, cooking or shopping. Yes, even non-romantic activities. I don't think a relationship should revolve around getting laid and here too, I don't like receiving suggestions that lying is all right.

'A girl feels ugly if a guy doesn't want to have sex with her.'

Yes, women take their worth from being seen as sexual objects. A woman that has no one fighting for her attention is nothing. I thought we're supposed to move away from the sexual objectification of women rather than convince guys that it's fine to see another person as just another place to keep their penis in. I can understand how rejection can affect a person negatively but I don't see how treating a person as only good enough for a one-night stand is any better.

Ideas have a strong influence on us, our society and culture. When they're damaging, we shouldn't even consider incorporating them into our personal value system. I suspect that the above suggestions are results of damaging ideas being seen by women when they were creating their own value systems and so, they hold them for true now when they really shouldn't.

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