Friday, 25 March 2011

The Weirdness of Public Transportation

On one of the many fateful days that were more like a night if one is to account for the lack of light and prevalence of darkness on the streets and the cold wind blowing for the ephemeral space where the dead dwell... I got on a bus. As it often happens from some time now, I was reading a book and then the unexpected happen.

"Can you move somewhere else so I can sit here?" a woman who was failing the fight against gravity asked while I magnificently dodged the few drops of an alcoholic beverage filling her can. I have considered the request over letting this woman sit down in a place that clearly belonged to her from the dawn of mankind. For, as I recall, the great prophets have said that the public transportation seat of the second floor at the very front to the very left is the property of any inebriated female species of the human race. Unfortunately, we decided the Neanderthals are better whacked than listened to so our ancestors have recorded only a few tidbits of their wisdom... and even that must have been filled with propaganda. So in all my generosity, politeness and kindness I said the most simple of words.

"NO"

I am not sure how my answer was taken as an invitation to pointing out several seats all over the bus that were empty, of which there were at least 8 just in my peripheral vision... but it was amusing nonetheless.

"Ok, I asked nicely, now this guy over there will tell you to get another seat." The New Challenger appeared. The reader at this point should imagine the stereotypical tall guy who has more muscles than brains because it has been scientifically proven that the more people think people you've killed, the more likely they are to vote you governor of their state. The problem was that England has counties, so your mileage may vary in Europe.

"What is the problem?" he says while looking from me to her.
"He's not giving me my seat."
"Oh yeah?!" He was excited like a reject from a Superman film. "Give this lady the seat."

I have considered the request that he infused with a healthy dose of testosterone that would make even Dirty Harry look like a wimpy kid crying over his stolen candy stick.

"NO"

At this point the woman was getting furious but the man calmed her down by saying that they will get out of the bus at the same stop as me and teach me a lesson. Her guy left to go to the back of the bus. While she stood there being drunk a guy sitting on the other side of the bus attempted to placate her by giving away his own seat but she was not so easily taken by some other seat. She specifically wanted the one that my ass was currently enjoying. A moment later my stop came up so I stood up and gone out while the apparent couple was having a shouting match from the two ends of the bus... something about something she did while he was in prison or something...

The door closed and the bus disappeared into the night!

2 comments:

Graham said...

In aussieland , it is technically illegal to travel on public transport while inebriated.
Never stops anyone of course.

Lunatyk said...

Australia is sounding a bit more awesome now ]:D