I haven't made a proper entry in ages... partly because I spent the time moving posts from Livejournal to this place... and partly because I'm trying to stop posting how negative I feel about absolutely everything...

so without making this post deeply philosophical and negative, let's have a look at what's buzzing in my head

I started to regularly play on Saturdays. The games alternate between Scion run by me (The Stoicheion Pentagram) and In Nomine not run by me. Same group for both, the GM of In Nomine is a cool guy, like the rest of the group... it's a relaxing experience and it actually gives me energy to be more productive during the week... strange...

I'm writing up a play report from those Scion sessions, which goes very slowly. Especially this week when I have to deal with writing a literature review for Higher Education...

The research projects aren't going too bad, even though I keep hitting myself on the head for not making more progress than I'm doing. I keep feeling like if I were to stop being lazy, I would have it all done by now... even though the due dates are in June... but that's me being me...

United We Stand goes well. We had a rough patch earlier this month but it seems like we prevailed, once again. I'm really proud of that game... I even make a wiki for it on Obsidian Portal and put there what I had in my notes. It's not much but I hope my players will contribute, it's a wiki, right? I'm summarising the threads and building up a network for the wiki pages but it's going even slower than The Stoicheion Pentagram.

Another thing that I'm working on is making posts for Alea Iacta Est. How fast am I making them? The last post, about 700 words, I wrote up in two weeks... and I can type fast... funnily enough, since I posted a link to the Blog Carnival, my traffic went up to 21 views yesterday... I have some other posts saved in drafts, only one is finished and it's really short...

including the super secret project (which had a little setback that the Team is trying to destroy), it may seem like I am focusing too much on roleplaying related stuff... I don't think so, most of my time is still spent studying... I just don't feel any confidence in my research projects... I might be even focusing too much on one project at the expense of my other two...

My heart really isn't in studying right now. I don't know why, I never felt this down about it in my life... I'm sure I get over it, I'll read and write what I'm supposed to and get whatever grades I get... it's just the next step that's really scary...

There's a DnD 4th Edition day tomorrow at the Roleplaying Club I go to... now I'm wondering if I should go... I just don't feel like I deserve it...

Will I ever stop being this much of a workaholic? Unlikely...
Will I ever stop being such a wuss and cry-baby? Even less likely...