Week 10: We're Safe?

Everything is fine

Going outside is in many ways inevitable. I venture outside regularly in order to get my groceries done for the week. It's been two months since the lockdown was first announced. Cafés, restaurants and pubs, and the vast majority of shops are still closed. The few that are open have limits on how many people are allowed inside which causes queues to form outside with people spaced out about two metres between themselves. If not for this, you'd think the pandemic is over.

The moment you enter a store, social distancing becomes a thing of the past. The lack of crowds is the only thing that may remind you there's a crisis going on outside if you keep it in your mind this is not a slow day at the store.

At this point it doesn't feel like this situation will get better any time soon. I suppose this thought it part of why I'm feeling so down these days. Two months of unemployment coupled with low prospects of re-employment during this crisis is not doing me any good. I think it's starting to dawn on me that before the virus hit, I was doing very well working on improving my living conditions and now everything is stagnant bordering on falling apart.

Week 9: Books!

The address to the nation that the Prime Minister provided us with was a sham. A vague notion of staying alert like you could spot a microscopic virus creeping up on you in a dark alley if you could only keep your wits sharp was presented as the next stage of facing the current crisis. The government's message was so confusing that throughout the week, they kept changing the meaning of what has been said. It's a mess... the result of which is that people are now acting as if the lockdown is over. It's fairly likely that the way this is being handled will cause another rise in deaths which is already highest in Europe. As bad as it was, it now feels a lot worse.

BOOKS!

However, there were some good news this week. I have received Jobseeker Allowance which should help me manage my financial situation slightly better and I have received a gift in the post. My good friend Matias got me two books as a gift to get through these harsh times. I haven't opened either up yet because I was going re-reading the newly released Sentinel Comics RPG in pdf. I say re-read but that's not entirely true. Some of the chapters have been released to Kickstarter backers previously, which I have gone through, but that was a pre-production copy so now I'm reading the actual game even if the material in some places is unchaged.

I must admit, I have read very little this year. My reading habits are normally very sporadic but I still manage to go through a decent number of books. This year, however, I only finished one book. It's been hard sitting down to do anything recently and when I had the energy, I tried to channel it into housework and looking for employment. Which did not stop me from picking up the Hunger Games trilogy off the street on my weekly walk to the store.

Week 8: Queue

There's very little to be said about this week.
It's another one of those where I'm simply waiting for things.

I've spoken with my landlady and she has reduced my rent for this month so I won't have to worry about running out of money. I'll have to repay her the difference when I'm provided with financial support through Universal Credit though.

A Kickstarter I backed a few years ago has announced that they will be releasing a pdf for their roleplaying game by the end of this week or start of the next one. Clearly, at this point it'll be at the start of next week. There's something good to look forward to, at least.

We're also waiting for the Prime Minister to address the nation at the end of this week. Word is that the lockdown restrictions are to be relaxed which, of course, means people are already ignoring it more than they should. What the address will actually say is still anyone's guess but knowing this government I highly doubt it'll be any good.

Week 7: Disappointment

I wasn't expecting to be receiving much in terms of financial support from the government through Universal Credit but I was still shocked to learn that I will be getting nothing at all. Apparently, every pound I've earned with my last paycheck has reduced my claim for this month by 63p which, in total, reduced it to a zero.

I've still got enough to see me through this month and I hope I'll be receiving some financial support in the following month because with the lockdown going strong, it's unlikely I'll find employment until it's lifted.

I've been really hitting the films this week. Nearly every evening I spent watching a film of some sort. I haven't done this in ages. Usually I just sit down to watch an episode of a TV show because it's a smaller time commitment than a film but now we're all finding ourselves with more time to spare on our hands. I really should do something more productive with my time.

I had a horrible headache over the weekend so to keep myself occupied, I made a Steam Workshop Item for Tabletop Simulator. Green Ronin released a Print to Play version of their upcoming Sentinels of Earth Prime card game so I took the files and converted them to import into Tabletop Simulator. I'm looking forward to testing the game out with my RP mates tomorrow.

I'm trying not to have naps in the late afternoon as they mess up my sleep schedule too much.

Week 6: The Waiting Game

and so does time pass

There's very little I can say regarding this week. I'm not even sure what I was doing most of the time. Nothing special, that's for certain. I'm losing track of what I'm doing lately...

This week feels like it's all been about waiting. I'm to find out what my Universal Credit payment will be for next month so I can plan out my finances next week. While I suspect it won't be much, I hope it'll still help me plow through these strange times we find ourselves in.

My RP session this week was supposed to be the last one but it got extended into another week. That one will be the last, after which I won't be running games for the duration of the lockdown. Although I enjoyed it and am looking forward to using Tabletop Simulator in boardgaming further with my friends, I can't get myself to run a game without a set schedule. Not knowing when this lockdown will end gets to me too much.

I've still got a stuffy, and sometimes runny, nose. I had to resort to using a nasal spray to clear it up enough so I could sleep at night.

Week 5: Just a Note

not going anywhere

This week started off well enough as I've received a call from the Job Centre informing me that my Universal Credit has been sorted so I'll be getting some modest income next month. That should help me last a little bit longer. I'm still holding onto hope that I'll be able to return to work after all this is over, which brings me to the next bit of news.

The lockdown has been extended by a further three weeks. While I continue applying for jobs, finding one is becoming increasingly difficult. I think the uncertainty of the situation is starting to get to me. This is not helped by the usual effects of reduced activity on my system. Without regular exercise, I'm finding it harder to sleep and eat. My focus is also slipping and I'm becoming more lethargic.

After talking with some RPG comunity members, I've found out that my internet connection is not up to the standards I thought it was so I had to call my provider. They were willing to upgrade it free of charge but due to the crisis, are unable to get an engineer out until June. I may have to deal with my low connection until then. It's annoying as it's inhibiting my ability to play games with my friends lately.

My nose has been blocked for two weeks now. I had to start using a nasal spray so I could breathe while falling asleep. I'm just glad my sneeze and cough combination has subsided to manageable levels. Maybe in a week I'll be rid of it and I'll be able to breathe without needing additional assistance.

Week 4: Apathy

The modern Void

This was supposed to be a week for me to sort things out. Suffice to say, it didn't go as planned. I think the reality of the situation has finally dawned upon me and I'm struggling to keep myself upright against the weight of it all.

Since my phone calls for Universal Credit were unsuccessful, I hoped looking for a job would help me gain some income while the lockdown is still in place. I could hardly find anything to apply for. Even the few positions I had applied for wouldn't earn me enough income to actually get by. I tried to get my mind off that worry by cleaning and organising my living space. I then realised too late I ran out of kitchen towels. I thought I had one more spare but no. After suddenly being unable to continue with my plans, I ended up wasting time on YouTube and uploading card scans to Tabletop Simulator so I could waste even more time on playing some game.

Even the game I started to run this week had issues. I was now plagued with internet connectivity issues despited having "super fast broadband". I managed to save it by streaming my screen instead of having people join the table online but I was still upset at another plan of mine not working despite preparations. I am the sort of person who prepares for difficulties and I tested earlier if my connection could handle people in game. I had no problems until now, somehow.

With my mood plummeting, I had no energy left to attend to neither my violin nor my painting desk. Both of which keep gathering dust...

Week 3: The Great Outdoors

I went to the store this week prepared for the worst. I took a book with me to have something to read as I stood in the queue to enter the shop. Somehow, the queue moved rapidly and I hardly noticed being in it. The store staff worked well on moving people along and letting people in as soon as others left the store. I wish shoppers would organise as well!

You could tell things were different. The floor was made into zones with a clever use of duck tape and each had an arrow pointing out the direction shoppers should go. This was to implement social distancing and to keep people 2 meters away from each other. However, the theme of this week has been ignorance.

I tried to keep to the designated space I was in, waiting for people in front of me to move along but after several other shoppers going past myself, reaching shelves over my cart and going the opposite way, I too gave up on social distancing. I didn't want to spend an additional hour, trying to follow the rules which others made it difficult to try. Imagine waiting for the person in front of you to pick something off the shelf and move further along, only for that lady to move into your space and browse the shelves. I could either ignore her or move back. All in all, at one point it felt I was the only one doing my part.

Sadly, even when going to and from the shop, you could see people blatantly ignoring the lockdown. During this period you're not supposed to venture outside unless necessary. I can understand seeing a person with a backpack on a bike, clearly going to the shop, but instead I saw a family of four going for a bike ride around town. I walked past some teens filming their parkour session on some steps. There were elderly people casually sitting on public benches having a smoke or beverage from a paper cup.

We're supposed to limit the spread of this virus by staying at home and practicing social distancing but instead we've got groups of people who think it's best to go to the beach or park because the weather is nicer outside. If only this virus could have been more considerate and strike in winter when everyone was indoors to begin with.

In other news, I'm feeling loads better and am in the process of putting life back together. I have finally disassembled my desktop and cleaned all the fans of dust. I had to go to the garden to do it and took Artemis with me. She was a bit overwhelmed and I had to tie her up to a tree as she was not fond of the sound the can with compressed air was making.

The idea for next week is to continue with sorting myself and the flat out.

Week 2: Socially Distant

That would be me in a nutshell

This week has brought in some significant changes. I was having a sneezing fit over the weekened which iritated my throat enough that I also started coughing so in the midst of this plague, I decided to call in sick and give myself a day more to recover. I mainly wanted to avoid scaring people, especially after senior management told me I shouldn't be in the office if I sneeze last week.

It wasn't long until I received an email informing me of being made redundant due to the decrease in cases caused by countries around Europe closing their borders. I wasn't the only one as I was soon added to a WhatsApp group among others to discuss this matter and further steps. I had to sadly explain that the government scheme to cover 80% of employee wages wasn't paid directly to individuals but to companies who would decide to keep their staff and pay them as normal, thus reducing employee costs to 20% for the corporate body. The only real remedy here is Universal Credit but as many people are finding out, it's hard to get through to them because their workload has suddenly sky-rocketed amid many companies closing.

The main thing is that this is the same week we were being paid this month so I still got a decent paycheck and my unspent holiday allowance. My landlady also said she's flexible with rent because this pandemic is hitting everyone. For the time being, I'm doing well financially so I hope I'll weather this storm somewhat. There's even possibility of re-employment if the situation changes.

All in all, it has been an odd week. The government suggested people stay at home and practice social distancing in order to inhibit the spread of this disease. Apparently that means going out only once a week for grocery shopping, avoiding close proximity with other people and using self-checkouts... so my usual way of life, I guess.

When I heard all this, my first thought was surprise at learning people buy groceries more than once a week. I though I do it too often because I've got a small fridge so I can't store much in it. To be fair, I am spending more time indoors now as the places I regularly go to are closed until further notice. Brighton Dancing has cancelled all their events, the dojo and gym closed their doors and my violin teacher is not giving lessons until the quarantine is lifted. Judging from the internet memes, I am taking this isolation a lot better than most people.

A sense of humour, these people have

It feels like this week truly sped by. I wasn't doing anything out of the ordinary as my routine has been suddenly changed and that throws me out of whack significantly. I ventured outside only to pick up my book from the office and to buy some groceries. When I reached the main Tesco, I saw they were implementing social distancing measures in the form of limiting the number of shoppers inside and keeping the rest in a queue with people spaced out. It was an enormous queue. I couldn't get myself to stand there and wait until it moved so I went to a smaller store in a different area.

Last week our roleplaying decided to move online. There was a drive to get me a new headset because my current webcam was giving people too much static so I couldn't join in. I rejected offers for it and for a software called Tabletop Simulator. Eventually though, it was gifted to me by a member and upon deliberations, I ordered a headset. I didn't want to get one initially as I didn't think it was essential and with loss of income, spending money has to be tight but as schools are now providing lessons online, I would need better equipment to do cover work.

The horror! The Arkham!

I kept checking on my friends, to see how they're doing in these difficult times. Many have had their work hours reduced to 0 so their income has also suffered but some managed to work from home while keeping their jobs. It's the roleplay community that I'm truly in awe though. We're apart and yet, we couldn't be closer. We hang out online as we did offline, even creating channels within our Discord server to maintain the feeling of the pub we met at. On my part I tried to entertain my fellow gamers by playing a game of Arkham Horror 3rd Edition and providing a commentary on what happened each turn in a story format. I probably won't be doing it again as I doubt it had the desired effect.

In other news, Artemis has caught one of my miniatures and utterly destroyed it so I'll be now keeping them in a box instead of on my work desk. Sadly, I haven't really managed to disconnect myself from the current situation to paint or play. Better luck next time...

Battle-damaged miniature

Week 1: Interesting Times

The Plague is upon us

These are truly exceptional times we're living in.

Countries around the world are closing borders so a lot of people are now stranded even though repatriation flights are being negotiated. Over in the UK people have gone crazy with shopping. When I've been to the shop last week, the shelves were empty of toilet paper, rice and pasta. Fortunately, I reguarly make sure I've got enough to not run out of any so that has hardly affected me.

In general, I think this situation is affecting me the least. My routine barely changed since the population has been recommended to cut social contact. This is the time when being an introvert aids you significantly. Even the gym is much more comfortable since they implemented measures for social distancing. Every other machine had a sign not to use it and the number of gym-goers saw a drastic reduction. I have to say, I enjoyed not having many people around me for once.

Sadly, this couldn't have lasted. The government ordered gyms to be closed so no more working out for me. This follows a string of cancellations this week. I've been getting emails from the various venues I visit informing us of closures until further notice. The Brighton Roleplay Club moved its meetings online for the time being with regular games being suspended. I know they're setting up online gaming but I don't feel like participating.

With so many people struggling, I'm trying to keep up with my friends and see if they're in need. Some had their hours reduced to zero so are struggling financially. I'm worried about work myself as with people not travelling, it will affect the company I work at. I hope it won't come to that but these are uncertain times. I'm told shops and supermarkets are overwhelmed and are now looking for additional staff so in the event I lose a job, I might get something to make ends meet for a while.

My current situation at work is that, as many other workplaces, the office is moving people to work from home, albeit in waves. For the time being, I'm still going to the office to work. I can't say I mind. Somehow I prefer to work in a different environment than my own home.

Shopping this week has been even more difficult. I noticed meat in low supply at the local supermarket, which is worrying, but I managed to snag the last pack of chicken breasts so I will be fine for next week. They have now implemented members of staff to control queues and direct them to appropriate ones so people with shopping trolleys don't use basket checkouts. They also move people out so as to create a break in a queue so people aren't blocking each other. I think they should also implement some traffic control in the ailes as I've had to avoid being slammed into twice while there.

They have removed the donation basket for charities as people were taking stuff out of it. I did not manage to get any fresh eggs and, most surpring of all, they nearly run out of kitten food. I only got one box of kitten wet food and had to buy some adult dry food for Artemis. It's not ideal but we'll persevere.

Climbing Back Up

The first month of this year has not been a kind one. Between dealing with post-Christmas depression, getting sick and stressing over the probation period at work, I got very little done in January.

It always takes me a while to get back on track after that hole that the Holiday season leaves. Life simply stops and inertia settles in. It feels like it took me a lot longer to even start getting back on my feet this yes. It's already February and I've only now gotten myself to the dojo and prepared meals that go with my workout routine. I've been to dance class too, after months of absence. I haven't touched the violin nor painted in a month, I suppose.

I blame my job partly for this. I have been put onto a Monday to Friday rotation as part of some additional training which was too much for me to adjust to for a few weeks. It's done now so I can work on slowly regaining my equilibrium.

At least my gaming life is going well. I'm playing regularly, albeit without any set schedule, and I've started running a game again. It's great fun and I wouldn't want it any other way.

I'm often told that I'm doing a lot and that I spread myself thin. Thing is, I don't have great dreams related to my activities. I simply enjoy doing them for what they are and not where they lead. I do what I can whenever I can... fighting against my predisposition to inaction and retreat...

All these things I mentioned and a few more are parts of life I enjoy so turning my back to them doesn't make me any happier. I feel much better when I live life to the fullest rather than let it pass by...