The Life and Death of Lunatyk

Fantasy RPG Class

2012-02-15T21:51:00.001Z

The Spirit Reaper

25% Strength, 65% Bloodlust, 22% Intelligence, 12% Spirit, 25% Vitality and 40% Agility!

Masters of killing and evasion, the Spirit Reapers can easily eliminate any foe. A slash of of their weapon means certain death. All who stand before them fall in pain and defeat. Using their dark magic, Spirit Reapers can literally transform themselves into shadows and easily sneak up on their foes. The Spirit Reapers trap the souls of defeated enemies within their scythe so that they can summon those spirits in future battles. Creeeeeeeppppyyy! In addition, their weapon is able to absorb the energy and abilities of the people they have reaped. For example, if their scythe slashes through the soul of a spellcaster, their weapon will take on the magical properties and powers of that spellcaster. Spirit Reapers will often hunt down powerful magicians to collect an array of diverse and powerful forms of magic, and with enough magic at their command, Spirit Reapers will become deadly and virtually invincible warriors of darkness. In addition, the souls they've absorbed extend their own lifeline and can even be used as a sort of shield to bear the brunt of any attacks that come their way.

Congratulations on reaching this high class!

You have not mastered any Hidden Power granted by the Genie.

Take The Fantasy RPG Class Test

Far Away Thy Love Lies

2012-02-14T00:09:00.000Z

I rarely make calendar-themed posts but the subject matter has been on my mind for the past month, the reason for this is shrouded in mystery as deep as the sleep of Cthulhu, and since it's February, it's fairly appropriate I publish it for this day.

Many times I've heard the assertion that long-distance relationships can't work. From what I gather people seem afraid to give it a try because due to a long physical distance it's easy for the other person to do whatever they want. To me this isn't an issue with distance but with trust. Saying that not having someone around 24/7 enabled them to cheat on you is like saying that the act of moving in makes it impossible to cheat on you. Alas, since people divorce each other due to unfaithfulness, distance doesn't seem to be a factor in this.

My main view on long-distance relationships is that they are probably the strongest ones. One obvious thing about being in one is that it is really hard. It is undeniably hard to be away from someone you love for very long periods of time. Now the question is who would voluntarily be in such a hard relationship when there must be easier alternatives. The first thing that comes to my mind is someone who loves you.

Love isn't all beauty and happiness. It requires work: sometimes hard work, other times gruelling work... on the part of everyone involved. This is what makes it special, love that is easily made is also easy to shatter. When you have willingness to work through issues that seem impossible, that's a sign of more than just affection.

I once had this friend who had the choice between two guys and she went with the guy who wasn't about to move out of town. He cheated on her despite living in the same city. Then I have two friends who are in marriages with men who each first met online. One pair started out apart between two sides of a country and the other was transatlantic.

Many years ago someone wished me to find love as beautiful as a rose but with no thorns. To which I could only reply that a rose without thorns is not picking up. This is why I like the rose as a symbol for love. It's beautiful and sweet but must be cared for with a gentle touch or it drains your life away. That's what hard work is; not taking love for granted and making the relationship work despite issues and obstacles.

Naturally, not everyone is capable of that, some just can't deal with too much and there's nothing wrong with that. Everyone has different needs but couples who manage to make such a relationship work earn my respect.

Away for Christmas

2012-01-21T00:58:00.000Z

As someone on Facebook has reminded me... I did have a lot of bad luck when it comes to travelling... and I haven't talked about it much lately... mostly because I didn't do any recently... in the span of a year I moved into four different places so I didn't really have time to travel anywhere exciting... I didn't say anything during my last trip to see my family in October because my mind wasn't even on this blog... shameful, I know...

I did, however, go for Christmas this year.

It's rare for me to actually be with my family for Christmas since I usually have to either work or go to classes. It wasn't that difficult when I was still living with my parents because it just meant we were spending an evening together instead of the whole day but now it's just not doable if I can't take at least a week off to leave England.

BUT WAIT?!

Do people not get Christmas off?! Why yes... people do get the period somewhere close to the 25th December off... I usually get bored during that time... I was kinda annoyed that my workplace decided to not open on that day... if I knew sooner, I'd probably try making some plans so I don't die out of boredom... on the plus side, I did get holidays without any problems and there were no classes to attend to in the first week of January so I did get to spend Christmas with my closest family... that would be fourteen people currently... though my dad couldn't make it...

WAIT WHAT?!

You can blame Julius Caesar for that.
While most of the world follows the Gregorian calendar for religious practices, I do not. Thus I have Christmas in January. I also have New Year starting on the 14th January.

Anyway...

The process of going from one country to another wasn't all that bad this time around. Neither was the last time I did this, strangely enough. There was hardly anything exciting going on. I went out of the house a few hours early to spend some time with someone . After two hours of chatting I went to catch my train... I feel like crying just thinking about it... I went to London, I went underground and had to wait half an hour at St Pancras... incidentally they had this really cool tree at the station... it was so cool that I had to do the unthinkable... I took out my phone and snapped a photo...

But what is so awesome about this tree that I just had to make a photo of it? I'm glad you've asked, my theoretical yet non-existent reader. Well... in my infinite wisdom I have made a close up specially for YOU...

It's made out of LEGO... most awesome indeed... Lego Christmas Tree... so shiny...

MOVING ON

I caught the last train and had to spend the next couple of hours waiting for my plane. I may have fallen asleep somewhere between Brighton and London but what kept me awake was the paranoia of one of those people at the airport secretly being a brain eating alien from outer space. In order to keep my crumbling psyche intact, I decided to train my Pokemon and beat up two Gym Leaders on my quest to becoming the greatest Pokemon trainer in Unova!

After check-in I decided to dine at an airport restaurant, for breakfast. You see, I always hear tales of how bad the cuisine there is but I've never tried it myself so I couldn't in evil conscience say that it is bad. Now I can say that it's not bad but it's definitely overpriced. Compared to one restaurant in Brighton, the breakfast at Luton is half the size and twice the price. That's really not my idea of a good meal.

The plane was not delayed by a day nor did it crash. Yet something else happened which I haven't had the pleasure of experiencing until that day. Mainly, the announcer was telling over the megaphones that the plane is about to fly off and that all passengers for this flight should hurry up before they get stranded on the airport for all eternity. Strangely enough, everyone was still in line because the plane didn't open the door yet. Some people chuckled... some got annoyed... a kid punched my knee...

I slept through most of the flight. After landing I got my luggage and went to catch the bus, which was already at the parking lot waiting for the driver to finish his break. I slept through most of the ride too. Then I got picked up by my mom and sister...

It took me 12 hours to get from point A to point B so it wasn't bad at all on my usual standards...

Christmas went well... I played on my 3DS with my two Sith Apprentices... though I ended up with a 40 degree fever shortly afterwards and had to delay my flight... which meant I spent New Years in bed instead of with friends like I was planning too...

and I'm still coughing... but there are plus sides, mainly the image below...

Polityka i Logika

2012-01-12T00:29:00.000Z

Po przybyciu do Polski na święta nieuniknione jest, że zacznę patrzeć co to się dzieje w polityce polskiej. Nie żebym jakoś specjalnie starał się wnikać w tego typu szczegóły ale, że TVN24 jest prawie zawsze włączony a posiłki jemy przy telewizorze, także i herbatę wieczorem się spożywa przy Szkle Kontaktowym, jest to raczej nieuniknione.

Jedna rzecz, która ostatnio przykuła moją uwagę to wypowiedź Kaczyńskiego. Komentował on sposób w jaki Premier Tusk jest na urlopie podczas gdy oficer prokuratury wojskowej próbuje popełnić samobójstwo przy dziennikarzach. Chce pewnie przez to powiedzieć, że Tusk nie nadaje się na Premiera skoro nie rezygnuje z urlopu gdy tylko w państwie źle się dzieje. Jednak mi nasuwa się inna interpretacja tychże słów.

Ostatnim razem gdy Tusk wyjechał z Warszawy by przemierzyć kraj swym autobusem w ramach kampanii wyborczej, ktoś się podpalił. Teraz pojechał na urlop i ktoś próbował się postrzelić. Kaczyński najwyraźniej twierdzi iż są to wydarzenia jak najbardziej powiązane a zatem można dojść do prostego wniosku, że gdy Tusk przestanie być Premierem, przez Polskę przetoczy się wielka fala samobójstw.

Game: Saint Christopher's Orphanage for Lost Children

2011-12-24T21:19:00.001Z

So soon after another blog post... I suppose it's better for my blogging when my mind is not constrained by posting schedules or a list of topics to cover... instead, it just wanders freely through the labyrinthine maze of my consciousness... or maybe I'm just too bored and aimless as is the usual case this time of the year...

Either way, I ended up thinking about 2006. It was the year that I, as a stranger, entered a strange land... but there was still internet... and coupled with my natural tendency to create narratives, I recessed into gaming...

It so happened that in 2006 I attended DragonMeet... my first convention and an opportunity to meet a lot of the people who I've previously only spoken to online... It was a very fun time... fun enough that I went on a few more afterwards until I couldn't due to employment obligations...

I mention this because on our way back on the underground, Deoq has stated that he'd love to play in a Changeling The Lost game and I said that I could run one provided it would be online and through a forum. Thus I was running a rather enjoyable game... even years from now on, I still fondly remember it... but I still have to go and format the whole archive I have and while I do that, I thought I might as well expose you to all the strangeness that our collective minds created...

I expect many of you won't be able to follow the story that well since we were all somewhat familiar with the setting and terms used, thus many an explanation for the uninitiated has been omitted... but that's what the comment section is for... not that anybody uses it...

Without further ado, I present...

Saint Christopher's Orphanage for Lost Children
Chapter 1: Howls at Night

The above link should send you to the Google Document... I had some trouble editing it due to how it interprets tables and images... let's just say that it looks better in MS Word... but it's still fairly readable... I think... maybe...

A Rather Short Tale of Two Blogs

2011-12-24T00:09:00.000Z

I had another blog at one point...

I thought I needed a place to ramble on about games and geek related things rather than put them up on here... this being a blog where I most just share stuff about life and whatever strange thought ends up embedding itself into my mind while travelling through the mental aether...

I kinda decided that blog was redundant... I partly wanted to have it there as a way of entry to creating a webzine and just generate interest in some way... I even got a few people to help with it at one point but that ended up not bearing much fruit... then Real Life took over... how I despise it when it happens... alas, it is inevitable...

The other issue was that I ended up not having the time to write. In the end I probably did make the right choice in focusing on writing my dissertation and getting a job that actually pays the bills instead of spending my time sitting at home and writing articles for a website.

I actually have post-it notes on the wall behind my laptop with all the titles of articles I want to write. They hang there and mock me every single day.

Jeśli to czytasz, Panie Q, to zapewniam, że nie zapomniałem o tych obiecanych artykułach i wiedz, że zostaną one napisane. Nadal mam wszystkie notatki... niestety najpierw chcę skończyć tą moją pracę pisać... bo już dłużej tego nie zniosę... z drugiej strony, już mi tak niewiele zostało do napisania, że zapewne skończę jeśli nie w tym roku to na początku następnego...

Back to a language that, statistically speaking, most of you should understand.

Then I had an interesting observation... if I put anything that relates to my geek nature outside of this blog, I end up with not having much to talk about. I mean, sure, it's not all I talk about and sometimes the things I like are only tangentially related to my posts... but when I take that aspect of my life out and limit myself only to things that I can talk about publicly (which you'd think is the norm on the internet... hint: it still isn't)... I'm pretty much left with nothing interesting to say...

I always said I'm a geek... I may not have realised how much though since I don't think I actually behave like some of those internet horror stories I read... some people are really obsessive about games and after witnessing it first-hand, I really can't put myself there...

so what's the point of this whole train of thoughts?

I don't know... just make something up that would satisfy you...

Internet Visitors

2011-12-17T13:07:00.000Z

A while ago I've added this nifty flag counter thingy to this here blog... it pretty much logs in a unique visit to this site and checks what country it originated from... and ever since I added it, it made me look at this little website of mine in a slightly different way.

Before now... I thought there's only like 3 or 4 people who look at this thing... I'm still surprised when someone tells me "I've read your blog entry"... so surreal!

I've assumed as much that most people who would be reading this would be either from the UK or USA... my posts being mainly written in English... and my social circles being in most part from those places in the world...

What I didn't expect is seeing Poland on the third place... I have no idea how that's possible... I don't think I even know 28 Poles... and those I know, only a few actually speak English... so I was thinking maybe 3 or 4 visits... but no... I have to be popular like that... Dlatego też pomyślałem, żeby od czasu do czasu napisać coś po polsku...

Then comes Russia... I always knew they were spying on me... trying to take my secrets...

Next up: Belgium... I was there once... maybe I should go there more often... they seem to like me...

Netherlands... I like that name... nether... very nihilistic... no idea how they got here... I suspect a conspiracy...

Australia... all right... I knew someone from Australia... if this goes suddenly goes up... I'll have to assume I'm being haunted...

Norway! I know who you are!

Denmark -> it's a postman...

and then it gets very murky... there's only a few countries I know people from... and that's mainly in the positive range of numbers no higher than 1... Finland, Canada (ok, I know two people, but we haven't talked in ages), Austria, Argentina, Japan, Estonia, France...

Yeah... I know someone who lives in FRANCE...

I'm surprised to see Germany with whole 3 hits... es ist Wahr dass ich habe ein Freund die kann Deutsch sprechen... aber er kommt aus Österreich... vielleicht sollte ich auch ein bissen mehr auf Deutsch blogieren... "blogieren" ist das ein Wort in Deutsch?!

Final note: one hit from Spain... sabemos...

On the Purchase of Games...

2011-11-22T13:53:00.001Z

It took a while but my birthday present that was sent to me by my little sister has finally arrived a few days ago... and so, as it is only natural... I ended up playing a lot more on the Xbox than I did in the last several weeks... I don't remember the last time I actually spent half the day with a controller in my hands...

The game I'm referring to is Spider-man Web of Shadows that was released in 2008. I quite like it... which is in no small part due to Black Cat... this is probably the first time I am experiencing having a crush on a fictional character...

As it happens with networks that give you updates on what your friends are doing... and simply staying in touch with people... I know that the popular game right now is Skyrim...

So I have to say I did hear about Oblivion and heard lots of good about it but I never got to play it. Now that Skyrim got out I actually remembered about Oblivion and put it on my list of games to acquire. So now I often get a question filled with confusion and followed by explanation of how they are not in-continuity and one can easily play Skyrim without having played Oblivion first.

I get that but that's why I mention a game from three years ago in the beginning of this post. There are games that I would like to play. There are lots of games I would like to play. So I need to decide which ones to get and when.

Since I got an Xbox about a year ago, I managed to acquire a collection of a dozen games. It might not be much for people who have had hundreds games go through their life but it is a lot to me. I've only started playing now and it's been sporadic for me. I think about half of those games are ones that I didn't actually buy but were left over from my previous room-mate. In the end I actually have games to play so there isn't much point in going out and buying more games when I only finished 3 of the ones I have... and I can still play at least one of those due to topping up my account with a few quid every month and buying more content for it...

So yes, I decided not to buy more games when I haven't finished the ones I have. In terms of finishing a game's story line, that mostly takes time. Unfortunately, I'm not a person who would simply spend 30 minutes of spare time on playing a game. Another problem is that I just don't have several hours of spare time to give myself to playing a game... although... I did spend half a day and half a night playing Web of Shadows when I received it in the post... I needed a break -_-'

On the rare occasion that my previous two conditions are met, there is one more factor deciding game purchase... which is something that most people look at when buying stuff... the price...

Let's look at this example then. While Skyrim is all the rage, it costs £37.97 right now. In comparison, Oblivion costs £16.55. That's 43% of the price and you get expansion packs with that... As it is, I've yet to buy a newly released game... without having lots of time to play games and not seeing the reason to actually spend twice as much money on a new game than I can buy on an older game that interests me anyway... I might never catch up and be playing new games regularly...

but I can't say I really care...

Frustracje z Empikiem

2011-10-16T23:28:00.000+01:00

Jedną z rzeczy które robię będąc w Polsce to wycieczka do księgarń. Chodząc po tychże księgarniach zauważyłem, że Supernowa wydaje teraz książki Wiedźmina w wersji z czarną okładką a ja już zacząłem kupywać je w białej okładce. Jako, że taka niezgodność okładek wyglądałaby nader źle na mojej półce, mogłem uczynić tylko jedno! Iść i kupić resztę książek której mi brak zanim znikną z obiegu!

No i był taki problem, że w księgarniach ich już raczej nie było. Powinienem był kupić jak tylko jedną zauważyłem, ale Empik miał akurat promocję kup 3 w cenie 2 więc szukałem i szukałem... aż wszystkie Empiki przeszukałem... a jest ich z Białymstoku trzy...

Ale jest jeszcze nadzieja! Zostało nam dane cudo jakim jest internet! Zatem bez kolejnej zwłoki wyruszam na wirtualną wędrówkę po katalogu Empika i oto znajduję wersje które były mi potrzebne do ukończenia mej kolekcji Sagi o Wiedźminie!

Zamówienie zostało złożone 21 września (środa). Niemalże natychmiast, z szybkością której pozazdrościłby sam Hermes, otrzymuję email, który dumnie głosi iż moje zamówienie zostanie zrealizowane już następnego dnia (czwartek)! Pozostało mi już jedynie wyczekiwać aż książki dotrą do mnie nim z Anglii wyjadę, a zatem tydzień.

Czekam i czekam...

I oto 26 września (poniedziałek) otrzymuje email. Empik prosi o me wybaczenie i oto, żebym oszczędził ich życie ponieważ z przykrością obwieszczają mi iż nie mają w posiadaniu tomu zatytułowanego Chrzest Ognia, jednak pozostałe dwa są jak najbardziej w ich posiadaniu, Krew Elfów i Pani Jeziora, zatem muszę jedynie dać im moje błogosławieństwo aby mogli podzielić zamówienie na dwie części i niezwłocznie wysłać mi te książki które mają... po czym będą się modlić o szybką zgubę nim mój gniew do nich dotrze... Zgadzam się na takie warunki lecz jestem lekko zawiedziony. Akurat potrzeba mi było Chrztu Ognia żeby dalej czytać tą całą Sagę.

I tak oto 28 września wieczorem (środa) wracam do Anglii, cała noc w podróży. A gdy budzę się 29 września (czwartek) po całym dniu spędzonym na drzemce której nieboszczyk mógłby pozazdrościć, dowiaduję się od mamy iż przyszła do mnie paczka a w niej książka...

Chrzest Ognia

Faza...

Something to Bite About

2011-10-10T01:17:00.000+01:00

It's been some time since I've returned from my visit and as it is customary to my visits, I get to eat as much as I would like... This time though I thought I'll make some photos of the most excellent cuisine that I've consumed... so first up is dinner...

One of my favourite dishes is pork tongue... ah yes, served with boiled potatoes and a side salad it is truly a fine meal. The main thing about a tongue it's that it is a very flexible muscle. When cooked, it is most soft and ideal for chewing... for your reference, here's how a pork tongue looks like raw

That's what I put in my mouth...

And now for probably the most popular type of food: desserts. After dinner, I like to eat some chrusty. All right, I'm lying... I like to eat them ALL THE TIME. They are quite addictive. The dough for them is composed out of flour, yolk, sugar and vodka... I assume that's why they are so popular... My mom says the vodka is there to help neutralise the fat that chrusty are fried on but we all know that's just an excuse so that we'd be able to put some alcohol in our desserts!


with sugar on top... a perfect snack to a cup of tea...

Yet in the morning I prefer a different type of sweet. While most people will simply wake up and proceed to go through their boring routines of the morning, the most important thing to do really is get dressed and get myself a ptyś. Forget about doughnuts... the ptyś is where it's at... its deliciousness cannot be summarised with simple words. The crumbling exterior of its cream hides away the soft deliciousness within. Just thinking about biting into it makes my heart wander into the lands of sweetness...

PTYŚ!!!

Another delicacy out of the Slavic lands is sękacz. Wikipedia tells me it is most popular in the North-East of Poland and I rarely go to shops outside of that region so all I can say is that it's fairly easy to find yourself a sękacz in any size... but we all know that Wikipedia never lies! The one I bought was very small... you can even buy slices if you just feel like a snack. The sękacz is made by pouring dough onto a rotating spit over fire... It may be dangerous to eat it in company as the last slice becomes the Holy Grail... many wars have been fought over who will consume the last remnants of a sękacz baked over hellfire...

I claimed the last piece

There is one thing that I always bring a box or two of with me when I depart from my place of origin: ptasie mleczko. This small and unassuming sweet has what I love about food the most, a very confusing name. Birds' milk is a fine piece of sweet goodness... it is basically a marshmallow in chocolate... in a rectangular shape... perhaps it is its simplicity that makes it such a fine snack to have...

The depiction of a bird doesn't help the imagination

Gadu-Gadanie

2011-06-08T23:22:00.001+01:00

(8:08:02 PM) 5004793: hej
(8:08:27 PM) 1979410: hello
(8:08:35 PM) 5004793: co tam
(8:08:55 PM) 1979410: tak sobie życie idzie do przodu...
(8:09:20 PM) 5004793: TO TAK JAK U MNIE
(8:09:25 PM) 1979410: lol
(8:10:43 PM) 5004793: masakra
(8:11:11 PM) 1979410: jaka masakra?
(8:11:33 PM) 5004793: to takie powiedzenie
(8:11:56 PM) 5004793: znasz Grzeska Sandomierskiego?
(8:12:03 PM) 1979410: no dobrze... ale dlaczego akurat tak mówisz?
(8:12:12 PM) 1979410: hm... nigdy o takim człowieku nie słyszałem...
(8:12:42 PM) 5004793: piłkarz jagielloni białystok
(8:13:01 PM) 1979410: to nic dziwnego że nie znam :P
(8:13:12 PM) 5004793: dlaczego?
(8:14:05 PM) 1979410: nie interesuję się piłką...
(8:14:25 PM) 5004793: aha a czym się interesujesz?
(8:14:55 PM) 1979410: bardziej książkami i filmami... komiksami też...
(8:15:31 PM) 5004793: aha
(8:15:44 PM) 1979410: nom
(8:16:31 PM) 5004793: a ja muzyka,siatkowka i te zainteresowania rozwijam...no i jeszcze piłka nożna,film i tv,moda
(8:17:22 PM) 1979410: cool...
(8:18:02 PM) 5004793: nom
(8:20:13 PM) 1979410: to co z tym Grzesiem?
(8:20:44 PM) 5004793: szukam do niego kontaktu
(8:21:16 PM) 1979410: why?
(8:22:56 PM) 5004793: bo mi się podoba
(8:23:03 PM) 1979410: lol
(8:23:23 PM) 1979410: a masz zdjęcie?
(8:23:48 PM) 5004793: mam fotke.pl
(8:24:02 PM) 1979410: a on jest na fotce?
(8:24:17 PM) 5004793: nie
(8:24:42 PM) 1979410: aaaaa... a ja się o jego fotkę pytałem, nie twoją :P
(8:25:15 PM) 5004793: a no to w google wpisz
(8:25:15 PM) 5004793: myślałam że moja
(8:26:04 PM) 1979410: eh... nie chce mi się go szukać... i tak bym nie poznał jak na zdjęciu grupowym jest...
(8:26:33 PM) 5004793: to na fb
(8:29:08 PM) 1979410: hm... taki sobie... nie w moim typie...
(8:29:33 PM) 5004793: byłoby coś z Tobą nie tak jakby był w Twoim typie
(8:29:42 PM) 1979410: a to czemu?
(8:30:03 PM) 5004793: no bo byś był gejem
(8:30:18 PM) 1979410: i to ma być "coś nie tak"?
(8:30:22 PM) 5004793: jakbyś gustowal w facetach
(8:30:55 PM) 1979410: czyli uważasz, że bycie gejem jest czymś nie takim?
(8:31:09 PM) 5004793: no
(8:31:37 PM) 1979410: I see...
(8:31:56 PM) 5004793: a jesteś?
(8:32:00 PM) 1979410: nie...
(8:32:18 PM) 5004793: to spoko
(8:32:43 PM) 1979410: mam kolegów którzy są... i jakoś nie widzę w tym nic złego...
(8:33:02 PM) 5004793: to już ich problem
(8:33:25 PM) 1979410: bardziej bym powiedział, że twój...
(8:33:41 PM) 5004793: ja nie mam problemu
(8:33:57 PM) 1979410: raczej już temu zaprzeczyłaś wcześniej...
(8:34:41 PM) 5004793: ja jestem jak najbardziej normalno-sexualna i to mi wystarczy
(8:35:30 PM) 1979410: jakoś niebardzo... jeśli musisz obrażać innych ludzi pod tym względem...
(8:35:48 PM) 5004793: ej no ale ja ich nie obrazam
(8:36:30 PM) 1979410: czyli prawiłaś im komplementy mówiąc, że jest z nimi coś nie tak i że ich seksualność jest ich problemem?
(8:37:29 PM) 5004793: ani nie obrazałam ani nie prawiłam komplementów,wyraziłam swoją opinię...koniec tematu
(8:38:05 PM) 1979410: nom... obraźliwa ta opinia... i to bardzo...
(8:38:31 PM) 5004793: opinia jak większość innych ludzi
(8:38:56 PM) 1979410: niestety... mroczne są nasze czasy...
(8:39:07 PM) 5004793: la vida
(8:43:48 PM) 1979410: to co poza tym?
(8:44:18 PM) 5004793: zagłosujesz na mój zespół?
(8:44:28 PM) 1979410: to zależy...
(8:44:36 PM) 5004793: od
(8:44:57 PM) 1979410: czy mi się spodoba...
(8:45:06 PM) 5004793: aha
(8:45:12 PM) 5004793: a jaką muzykę lubisz?
(8:45:26 PM) 1979410: metalową...
(8:45:42 PM) 5004793: aha no to raczej nie ten rodzaj
(8:45:57 PM) 1979410: tak myślałem...
(8:46:21 PM) 5004793: chyba że disco-polo też słuchasz
(8:46:28 PM) 1979410: no
(8:46:45 PM) 5004793: a kogo najbardziej?
(8:46:50 PM) 1979410: no one
(8:47:04 PM) 5004793: nie ma takiego
(8:47:09 PM) 1979410: I know...
(8:47:46 PM) 5004793: to jakiego
(8:48:15 PM) 1979410: żadnego... przecież powiedziałem, że nie słucham disco-polo...
(8:49:04 PM) 5004793: no to chyba znaczy tak
(8:51:58 PM) 1979410: not in English...
(8:52:19 PM) 5004793: w polsce jesteśmy
(8:52:35 PM) 1979410: może ty jesteś... ja to raczej niebardzo...
(8:52:59 PM) 5004793: no ja jestem
(8:53:12 PM) 1979410: trudno się mówi...
(8:53:25 PM) 5004793: la vida
(8:59:52 PM) 1979410: jeszcze coś?
(9:00:04 PM) 5004793: nada
(9:00:11 PM) 1979410: cool...
(9:00:27 PM) 5004793: ciao

All Good Things...

2011-05-02T21:50:00.002+01:00

Some time ago I have decided to archive the games I ran online. I didn't want to lose them to sudden crashes or other strange things. Some of the games I ran required a lot of time and effort on my part and the thought of losing them started to scare me. I think of games like creating stories with friends whilst having a lot of fun. Just thinking about scenes and reading them again brings joy to my black bleeding heart. It is partly because of what Scribe Drizz is trying to achieve and partly because of my memories of running an Exalted game called United We Stand. It was a game about a group of Solars and their allies preparing a kingdom for war in the Hundred Kingdoms that were threatened by the machinations of a Deathlord. The game spanned about three years of my life when every evening I updated threads and talked with the players about what they want from it.

It was one of the games that I have been most proud of. Just like all good things it too came to an end without a finish. I have ran it on RPoL and they do not allow archiving games. So when the game was marked for deletion due to inactivity, I have began the process of copying and pasting all the threads to a doc file. With thousands upon thousands of words, I had a whole lot of copy/pasting to do. Then events in my offline life took a turn that required my attention. As it is with me, I do not consider gaming a big priority so I put off completing the copy/pasting for later. Life went on, I got on with the problems I was having and it all started to calm down.

I have to note that my life was so hectic lately that one of my good players started to honestly doubt I would ever start the game that I'm currently working at. I consider it a great fall from my former glory days.

Today I decided to pick up when I left on and I noticed that the game has been completely deleted. I know full well that I have no one to blame other than myself for this. I was really torn when I noticed this because on one side, it's just a game, on the other it's a game using my favourite system, played with a really great group of players and a game that taught me a lot about running games. Not to mention it actually let me say I have ran a game for three years when people say online games can only last for a few weeks before they die. It was proof of my Awesome.

and now it's gone...

I was contemplating what to do with this fact. If I want to continue archiving or just deleting what I had... and all things considered, I think I'll just use what I have and simply write out all I can remember that happened (and didn't happen) after I stopped archiving the game. It won't be as great as I had hoped.

In the end, after my rage and self-loathing subsided, I think all things considered I have made the right choice of focusing on issues that were gnawing at my life rather than on a game.

A lesson is learned for the future. I will have to archive the games that I'm currently running as they go. So I will have to find the time to start archiving The Emergence and Silverkeep now... and yes, Silverkeep will start, I do not want to be known for empty words...

The Weirdness of Public Transportation

2011-03-25T07:46:00.001Z

On one of the many fateful days that were more like a night if one is to account for the lack of light and prevalence of darkness on the streets and the cold wind blowing for the ephemeral space where the dead dwell... I got on a bus. As it often happens from some time now, I was reading a book and then the unexpected happen.

"Can you move somewhere else so I can sit here?" a woman who was failing the fight against gravity asked while I magnificently dodged the few drops of an alcoholic beverage filling her can. I have considered the request over letting this woman sit down in a place that clearly belonged to her from the dawn of mankind. For, as I recall, the great prophets have said that the public transportation seat of the second floor at the very front to the very left is the property of any inebriated female species of the human race. Unfortunately, we decided the Neanderthals are better whacked than listened to so our ancestors have recorded only a few tidbits of their wisdom... and even that must have been filled with propaganda. So in all my generosity, politeness and kindness I said the most simple of words.

"NO"

I am not sure how my answer was taken as an invitation to pointing out several seats all over the bus that were empty, of which there were at least 8 just in my peripheral vision... but it was amusing nonetheless.

"Ok, I asked nicely, now this guy over there will tell you to get another seat." The New Challenger appeared. The reader at this point should imagine the stereotypical tall guy who has more muscles than brains because it has been scientifically proven that the more people think people you've killed, the more likely they are to vote you governor of their state. The problem was that England has counties, so your mileage may vary in Europe.

"What is the problem?" he says while looking from me to her.
"He's not giving me my seat."
"Oh yeah?!" He was excited like a reject from a Superman film. "Give this lady the seat."

I have considered the request that he infused with a healthy dose of testosterone that would make even Dirty Harry look like a wimpy kid crying over his stolen candy stick.

"NO"

At this point the woman was getting furious but the man calmed her down by saying that they will get out of the bus at the same stop as me and teach me a lesson. Her guy left to go to the back of the bus. While she stood there being drunk a guy sitting on the other side of the bus attempted to placate her by giving away his own seat but she was not so easily taken by some other seat. She specifically wanted the one that my ass was currently enjoying. A moment later my stop came up so I stood up and gone out while the apparent couple was having a shouting match from the two ends of the bus... something about something she did while he was in prison or something...

The door closed and the bus disappeared into the night!

Game Ideas

2011-03-14T19:20:00.002Z

Whenever I talk with people about running games, I often hear about a common problem among us Game Masters. Mainly that of having way too many ideas for games but not enough time to run them all. Instead of waiting for those couple ideas I had to fade into nothingness, I thought I might as well put them here. This way at least I'll have them all in one place. So without further ado, here's what I'd like to run in the future...

System: Cat
This game would be set in a remote town somewhere, probably Alaska. The player characters find out that children are starting to grow very unemotional towards them but try to hide it in front of adults. Every night, when their parents think they're asleep, they sneak out and meet outside of town to chant in a low murmur, they never sleep. Through some sort of investigation, the player characters find out something is taking over the children's psyche when they dream. Now they have to search the Dream to find whatever is causing it and put an end to its evil schemes!

System: Exalted - The Alchemicals
Being Alchemicals, the characters would be industrial paragons of their nation. However, all signs show there is a threat of a Gremlin swarm led by a powerful smoke elemental. For this game I would like to use a very cyberpunk feel to the game, high level of artifacts, with people having many implants, the use of occasional jokes (like one antagonist having a split personality and bearing the names Window 1 and Window 2) and having fights in tunnels where gravity is relative.

System: Exalted - The Dragon-Blooded
The players would be a special forces team sent out on missions to further the interests of the Realm. Possible missions would be investigating strange cases in the Realm and reigning down the Realm's wrath on insurgencies in the Threshold. Between missions the player characters would have to deal with politics that either hinder or help their team, depending on their actions.

System: Exalted - The Infernals
This game would take place in a possible future of Creation where the Yozis have won. The Yozis' prison fused with Creation, allowing them to regain their rightful place in Yu-Shan. Yet their Infernal champions are still needed. Although many Exalts have fallen, selling out their Exaltations to the demons and thus becoming half-Infernals, the battle for Creation is still waged. Not every heroic soul was broken, some remain, desperately trying to fight in a world that hates and despises them. They are a far lesser concern than the Neverborn's armies growing in the shadow of the Reclamation. Soon a new war will be waged that will decide whether Hell on Earth will reign supreme or will existence itself be plunged into Oblivion.

System: Exalted - The Sidereals
This game would be about a group of Sidereal martial artists infiltrating and manipulating governments to their bureau's own ends. I would like to go on a more macro-scale with this or have the main plot take place in Nexus's criminal underground. I'd like to take inspiration from James Bond movies or films like The Avengers and XXX where there's one antagonist bent on destroying/taking over the world so I'm thinking either a Deathlord or some Raksha noble. Having players start with an additional 5 Martial Arts Charms is a must.

System: Hero System 6th Edition
When the Autobots boarded the Ark to find a new home, they were attacked by the Decepticons. The resulting battle damaged the ship so it crash landed on prehistoric Earth. After several millennia have passed, the volcano the ship ended up under erupted. It brought the ship online and it sent out a probe to look for life on the planet. Due to its definition of life excluding organic matter, it only scanned machines and based on their design, repaired the Transformers. Thus the story began... but in this alternate reality the Autobots were too damaged to be repaired so only Decepticons were brought back to life. Without a leader and stranded on an alien planet, they'll have to decide what to do next and fight for the little bit of Energon left. I imagine this game would deal with the sparsity of their energy sources and infighting between forming factions within their group.

System: Promethean The Created
Each of the player characters has a vision telling them to come to a cave. There they are greeted by a Quashmall who tells them of a Centimanus who is trying to combine the four aspects of the end into one being. It is now their duty to stop the creation of this entity. Their quest will bring them through regions of the world each embodying said four aspects: War, Pestilence, Famine and Death.

System: Savage Worlds
The players take on the roles of knights in service to the great King chosen by the gods to unite the land of Albion. The King possesses a powerful sword artifact but unfortunately, when word of invaders clad in the skins of beasts and wielding massive axes reach him, he decides to send his knights to parley with their warlord. As it turns out, the bloodthirsty barbarians are willing to talk... so they take their mechanical mounts, power armours and other inventions and go see what all the ruckus is about.

System: Savage Worlds
During the second world war, the Nazis have experimented with augmenting human beings into more resilient soldiers. Unfortunately, something went wrong and their latest experimentation camp blew up. Drafted to be soldiers or simply civilians caught in the crossfire, the player characters can't return to their lives because of their monstrous appearance so they have to hide away in the sewers while protecting the city above from the ravages of war.

System: Victoriana
When I first read about Victoriana I immediately had the idea to have players be planning one of the many rebellions Poland had during the times of occupation. Secret meetings, planning the proceedings, recruiting allies, avoiding the secret police, dealing with propaganda, etc. For the great finale, it's all or nothing! Best part? Other than tanks and soldiers with guns, you have to deal with beasts and magic.

Meme Time!

2011-01-31T09:19:00.002Z

meme stolen off of Cristian...

Day 01 - A moment

I woke up for the New Year feeling really, really hot... didn't sleep through the night...

Day 02 - Your first love

Natalia... I still remember how we used to walk around the kindergarten and talk about how we'll get married when we grow up

Day 03 - Your best friend

That would be Vegael, of course...

Day 04 - What you ate today

A nice dinner provided by a friend's wife that consisted of an assortment of cold vegetables, chicken and some chips... then I had beef fried rice... I think I like Chinese too much...

Day 05 - Your definition of love

Someone who was once close to my heart wished me to find love as sweet as a rose but with no thorns. To which I replied that love that is without pain or hardship is not worth working for...

Day 06 - Your day

It was Christmas Eve but due to my throat feeling utterly horrible and my body being generally weak, I took the advice of someone at work and spent the day in bed instead of going to the cinema. I did watch Public Enemies and Tekken though so not all was lost.

Day 07 - A quote that you live by

No Rest for the Wicked

Day 08 - What you wore today

a red shirt... yes, I'm a Red Shirt...

Day 09 - Your beliefs

Now this is a loaded question that is not easily described in mere few words. What is there to say about a person's beliefs? Like most people, I presume, my beliefs are many, varied and often contradictory. My psyche is a constant battleground where aspects embodying particular elements of my beliefs vie for control each and every second. They scheme, create alliances and back-stab each other at the first opportunity! Vicious... verily...

Day 10 - Another moment

A car drove up to the drive-through window I was at. Three girls missed the board with the microphone where we take orders and they were too cute for me to tell them to drive away. So I took their order for 6 meals, made them and they went off. The next car had this guy in a suit and an expensive car. He started shouting that this place is run by idiots seeing as the previous car wasn't told to wait in the car park until someone brings them their meals and that I can eat the ice cream he ordered (that was the only nice thing about him), then he said something that truly shook my very being... he said he would COMPLAIN... I thought I had died on the spot...

Day 11 - Your siblings

She is the Yin to my Yang... but lately she has been going to the Dark Side. She has found a fascination for vampires... but fear not gentle readers! For my dear sister has spoken of sparkling vampires as being not monstrous enough. Yes, in her mind, a vampire that is not monstrous is lame...

Also, I am apparently the only brother in the world who doesn't have a defensive instinct when it comes to potential mates for her. Seriously, why should I go about beating the crap out of her potential boyfriends when she does that by herself just fine?

Day 12 - The closest thing in reach

For the present moment that would be Samurai Prowl...

Day 13 - This week

I did think about one of my friends who I haven't spoken to in over half a year. Tried to get in touch with her but after a couple of months trying, I simply gave up. I suppose I thought about trying again but before I got to it, I got a phone call from her... it was really surprising...

Day 14 - Top 5 artists in your iPod

Since I have no music on my iPod, I don't have any artists on it either...

Day 15 - Your dreams

I'd like to save enough money to get on a teaching course and then get a job as a teacher. Then I'd like to spend the next 20 or so years saving up enough money to build a house for my parents so they can spend their retirement in peace.

Day 16 - Your first kiss

The day I finished high school, it so happened that my mum went to England to visit my dad. A few weeks before the day, I inadvertently told of this while talking to someone from class. The next thing I know, everyone was invited to a party at my place as if real life was imitating a badly written teen drama.

Strangely enough, I had more fun running around to make sure everyone has food and drinks than I usually have sitting at a party not doing anything. She arrived late, I thought she won't arrive at all. The funny thing is that I had a crush on her since I walked to the bus stop with her on our way back from school. I asked her out shortly after that but she said she didn't want to be in a relationship with someone from the same class. So I decided to wait until the end of high school but after it was decided that I'll be going to England to study, I thought against entering a relationship with someone who may not like the idea of long-distance ones.

Yet she did came to the party and stayed after everyone else left to help me clean. We talked and laughed and after we were finished she asked me if she can see my IELTS results. They were hanging above my bed so I took it off and sat down. I showed them to her while she sat next to me. Then she said she was getting tired, she leaned on me, I laid myself down on the sheets and she slowly climbed up to my face.

We kissed... a lot...

Day 17 - Your favourite memory this past year

That will have to be my trip to Belgium and the resulting gaming that was had. I still giggle whenever I remind myself of how Elohim tortured that poor chap, giving him one last chance to answer our questions. He screamed and Elohim simply asked "Is that your final answer?"... The scene where he cut a man in half to get to his love interest (yes, he sliced a man in half and walked between the falling pieces) that got an injury. So chivalrous, yet cruel.

Not to mention the resulting maiming my ear received for not keeping my mouth shut.

Day 18 - Your least favorite memory this past year

I don't even want to think about it. The whole ordeal was so bad, I couldn't fall asleep in my own room without locking the door. It took a couple of weeks for me to stop locking the door and still getting some sleep... well... as good as it can be considering my sleeping habits...

Day 19 - Something you regret

Going to university straight after high school. I should have gotten a job first, a space to live, saved up a bit and then gone to study while going part-time from full-time.

Day 20 - This month

I played a couple of games of Yu-Gi-Oh and bought a deck (Machina Mayhem) after years of not playing the game... which also resulted in me watching the Yu-Gi-Oh GX episodes that I have missed.

Other than that, decisions have been made to change a few things about life.
Plans have been set into motion and all that is needed now is time.

Day 21 - Another moment

The neighbour asked me why he has never seen me drink alcohol and that I am the first person he knows to refuse a drink.

Day 22 - Something that upsets you

Whenever someone throws away food. I suppose when I was little, we always put food away to the fridge and ate it later. Throwing away food was unthinkable to the extent that whenever I didn't want to eat something because I didn't like the taste... well, my parents got very angry... wasting food is just incredibly bad...

Day 23 - Something that makes you feel better

The Dark Side

Day 24 - Your wedding song

Chopin... definitely...

Day 25 - What you wore today

The skull I got from two very good friends from my time at the Linguistics course...

Day 26 - Your fears

Dogs... Even though my fear is not as bad as it used to be, I still feel like having a panic attack when I see a dog about to jump at me...

Day 27 - Your favorite place

That would have to be my grandfather's farm. Nothing but fields and woods around those few little building and fence. Peace and quiet at their greatest.

Day 28 - Something that you miss
Regret is not one of the emotions I'm particularly familiar with but if I must say so then yes, there is something I regret. I mainly regret that I didn't work for a year before going to university. Just finding a place to live and then a job to work at before starting the course and after the academic year starts, go part-time on it. In other words, I regret not doing the same thing as my friends... it might have had the result of not having the problems I had...

Day 29 - Your aspirations

Finish my degree, get into the teaching profession, write at least one book, learn a couple more languages, study some martial arts, learn how to dance, learn to play the violin... so many things to do... so little time...

Day 30 - One last moment

Had a very enjoyable time with a friend... of which details I will keep to myself...

Time to Time this Time

2011-01-13T23:41:00.000Z

There's one thing that I seem to have trouble with that most people do not: the perception of time.

I'm not sure whether it's a problem of my memory not being good enough that assigning events to dates is not as important as remembering the events themselves or is it because I've been analysing grammar so long that I now see time only as Past, Present and Future. Whatever it is, the fact remains that if events do not have a logical connection between them, I won't even remember the sequence in which they occurred.

Ask me about something that happened last week and I won't be able to tell you anything. Sure, I can tell you what happened before now but not last week. The difference is that while most people, at least to me, are able to recall what they did during a specific period, I cannot. It is quite easy for people (like my mum) to call me on having last called them a few months ago while I'm bewildered because it felt like yesterday. Naturally, I understand the time differential between "a few months", "a few weeks" and "a few days ago"... but I simply don't feel it.

Usually, it's not a problem. I write down the deadlines I need and make a plan to get things done in that period. I've become good at managing projects like that but as I've told to one of my acquaintances one day, I simply do not consider the past as important as the future.

While I can see her point about the past being important; that it holds memories of happiness and of our achievements, I cannot see how the past can exist without the future. If we don't go forth to create those happy moments or work on achieving our goals, then the present that we have stagnates us and becomes a dull circular past with nothing of worth.

CELTA fail

2010-12-10T12:41:00.000Z

Well... still no internet. I’m starting to doubt I’ll get it back any time soon but I have something else to talk about today. A little aspect of life that I haven’t spoken about in a long while: my career progression.

One part of what I want to be in life is being an English teacher. As some of you may have known, I was spending some time applying to get on a course that would give me the necessary qualifications and now I have my answer. I didn’t get in because my English isn’t good enough. Yep, you heard that right. My English sucks. This is the first time anyone has ever told me that.

This was decided upon seeing my IELTS score of 7.5 out of 9. IELTS stands for International English Language Qualification. It’s a type of exam that was required of me to get into higher education. Four years ago, I needed to score 7 and I did that. I never had any problems with the Linguistics strand of my course and I believe I have a quite good understanding of the intricacies of English and know that not everything in grammar is clear cut. Alas, the CELTA course requires a score of 9. After four years I have serious doubts my English skills haven’t improved. So I’m quite confident in getting that score or at least 8.5 (you never know what someone else will judge as “good” English). Yet to take this exam again, I will need money.

This wouldn’t be so frustrating if it wasn’t for being told totally different things every time I went to that school. When I came in the first time, they told me I don’t even need to show my IELTS score since I’ve been through higher education. When I came in for an interview, I was asked what my score was and I said “about 8, I think”. I was told that was enough and to bring in the papers. When I brought the papers, I was told I need 9 to get on the course. Yeah... it just seems like the requirements change from week to week, annoyingly enough.

So now when I think of facing the anthropomorphic representation of that school, I am reminded of Zohan’s words:

“I will destroy you.”

Life Goes On

2010-12-02T12:28:00.000Z

When I was finishing high school I had a Livejournal. At the time, the blog was my means of communication with all the people I knew and now that I don’t have internet at home, it can serve that purpose again.

It’s strange how without internet I am not really talking with anyone outside of work. On one hand that’s fairly normal. People are busy with work and life in general. It can be really hard finding a free slot in two schedules to meet up to chat. Getting more than two people together can be even harder. While instant messengers just let you do your own thing while talking to people. No internet pretty much means I’m not socialising when I’m filling in forms, going through notes or writing down ideas. I can’t say it bothers me that much. Life is actually quite good in general.

I’m quite happy I’ve got a job. Working at Burger King might not be all that noteworthy but it does make me feel better about myself than sitting at home 24/7 and just going through study notes. The simple change that I have income of my own has helped the relationship with my dad tremendously. We don’t get into arguments as often as usual. I don’t feel like I have to throw away everything I’m doing whenever he tells me to do something else and then get shouted and cursed at for approaching the task in a way he would not. It actually feels like he’s a lot more supportive as of late.

The room I’m staying at is expensive but it’s quiet and I have a desk. Just being able to sit down comfortably to work makes a huge difference. Writing is so much nicer that way. The best part, I think, is that I can focus on what’s going on in my life rather than feel like I’m expected to be a caretaker/wife to the benevolent landlord who graciously lets me stay at his home if I take care of it while he can drown his sorrows in alcohol.

Problems are ever present, as always, but right now they feel more like obstacles on a racecourse rather than the Goliath. I’m glad I can fall asleep without locking my door again and that life is moving with a much nicer pace than it used to.

What's the origin of your name?

2010-11-02T02:27:00.001Z

My name comes from the Greek Christophoros which means "bearing Christ".

Legend says that Saint Christopher decided to serve the greatest king of them all. He went to a king who was thought of as greatest but left his service when he learned he feared the devil. He found some guy who claimed he was the devil and served him but then left his service when he saw him fear the cross. Then he tried to find Christ but only found a hermit who told him to serve Christ by helping people cross a river where most people perished. Saint Christopher was a strong man so he agreed.

One day a child asking him to be carried over, so he did. The problem was that the child weighted as much as lead when he picked it up and crossing the river was no easy task. When they reached the shore, he told the child that he was put in great danger as even the whole world could not be so heavy. The child replied saying that he had not only the weight of the world on his shoulders but Him who made it and introduced himself as His son, Jesus Christ.

Saint Christopher is the patron saint of travellers and I have the icon with him whenever I go for a long journey. Though I find it ironic he is sometimes represented as having the head of a dog.

Ask me anything

If you could instantly become fluent in another language, which language would you pick?

2010-10-25T06:29:00.000+01:00

This is actually a really hard question now that I'm thinking about it...

My plan is to learn French next but I'm tempted to learn Spanish seeing as how many Spanish-speakers we have at work now...

on the other hand, I don't feel particularly fluent in German just yet...

I think my brain is about to explode from indecision -_-'

Ask me anything

Oh The Drama

2010-10-22T21:17:00.003+01:00

I had to go through a lot of what some have described as a whole lot of drama. All because of reasons that I never thought would be the basis of a problem: games.

I suppose things started to go really badly when both me and Smurf got into A Game of Thrones. It is a nice card game that many people at our local gaming shop played. So it was only natural that with many opportunities to try the game, I would try it. I quite liked it and soon after had a Stark deck. For weeks I ignored the other players proclamations of superiority over the Magic players and their scoffing at their scoffing of other games, how A Game of Thrones was much more elaborate and didn’t need deck building of any sort. In summary I found all this yapping to be quite hypocritical and just played the game.

I had a lot of fun and always looked forward to playing another game. It was nice to just play, modify the deck a bit, then play again. Apparently that didn’t jibe well with some people. At the time I was living with Smurf and while we were returning from gaming one night he started to go off on me about how I need to change my deck so I stop losing games. I found this rather odd coming from the person who once told me that the most important thing in games is to have fun while playing them rather then winning. I told him that I have no problems not winning games because I’m still having fun playing. So he asked me what’s the point of playing a game when you can’t win. After he started telling me what cards I must take out of my deck to make it better I had enough of the hypocrisy of being told how to build a deck by the same guy who says A Game of Thrones is better than Magic because you don’t have to build a deck, so I told him to stop it.

I went into the house and into my room in silence after that. Then I went to grab something from the kitchen. Smurf was there and apologised for what he said, saying he didn’t know where that came from. Then he asked if we could play a one-on-one A Game of Thrones game because he had a theory that my Stark deck would do much better 1-on-1 than in a multiplayer game. He was right, I utterly destroyed his Greyjoy deck and there was nothing he could do... but the game was extremely boring. I knew this happened and agreed to play despite knowing it’ll be an unexciting game only because he asked. After the game finished he asked me if I’m happy that we played the sort of game I was asking for. To which I replied he was the one asking for a 1-on-1 and I wasn’t too keen on it because of I knew how it would go. Smurf kept on saying that it wasn’t him who asked to play and I was too tired with his lack of memory or obvious lies that I just dropped the issue and shrugged.

A few weeks passed and I gave my laptop for repairs. That week I used the computer in the living room for online stuff, which I was told a couple months back that I can do. The first few days of that week were alright. Whenever Smurf came back from work we talked a bit and watched something on the telly. Then somewhere in the middle of said week he started to go straight to his room after work. I thought he might be either working at home or just having a bad day at work and didn’t feel like talking to anyone. So I simply let him be.

After a few days I went to Worthing to play some card games with a group there that Smurf introduced me to. One of the guys worked for the same company as he and he asked me something that really surprised me: “What did you do to wind up Smurf so much?” I had no idea what he was talking about. Apparently Smurf was very depressed at work over something that I did but I couldn’t think what I did. As far as I knew I didn’t do anything.

I returned that night to find Smurf somewhat drunk, a pretty normal state for him. He greeted me by saying that I look a lot less depressed than I did this past week. Once more, I had no idea what was going on. I told him I wasn’t depressed at all, to which he replied: “You don’t realise it yourself but you were horribly miserable.” He told me how the past week he felt like he couldn’t use his own living room because of me and all he could do was go to his room to drink himself to sleep. I asked him why he didn’t tell me this earlier, like, when the problem actually started... all he could say was: “Ah, you know how it is” and well, I didn’t. I just didn’t understand why he choose to hide away rather than work on an issue that bothered him so much.

Then he started going on about how bad of a Game Master I am. That he didn’t enjoy any of my games and gave me pointers on how to improve (“I don’t mean to discourage you from gaming” he said). I should be more animated, walk around the table, look over people’s shoulders and hit everyone with obvious plot hooks rather than just hint at stuff. Essentially, his advice was to run games exactly like he does.

He also told me he didn’t like the way I wear. That having your shirt in your trousers reminded him too much of work. He then remarked that I looked better that day because I didn’t have my shirt in my trousers. So I asked him if he knows why I didn’t have it like that. He said: “Yes, because the other Polish guy at the club made fun of you for it so you changed.” After I stopped being baffled at how he thought the opinions of someone else would influence my dressing style I told him that no, it was because I don’t have anything over my shirt. When I wear a jacket, I like to have my shirt in my trousers. When I don’t have my jacket on, I don’t like to have my shirt in my trousers... and frankly, I don’t care what people think of it.

It went on for a couple of hours and I finally went to bed. I was mad at him for telling me how I feel (like I don’t realise my own emotions), how he hates what I play and having problems with things so insignificant as how I choose to wear my shirt. He also told me that I would never find work unless I get out of my shell. The hypocrisy of having a guy who would rather lock himself in his room than go up to a friend and talk things through tell me that I need to be more open was just too much.

And then I was in Belgium. While there I thought a lot about what happened in recent weeks. I decided that living with someone who made problems out of silly things and didn’t like what was basically how I spend my free time was just not worth it. So I thought that after I come back from Belgium, I’ll have a look at rooms, find something, sign a contract and give my notice. Naturally, life rarely goes to plan.

When I returned Smurf told me I have a month to move out because my presence started to depress him too much. I said “ok” and he waved my hand in a stupid gesture to signify to me I should say something more. So I did: “I was thinking of doing that anyway.” The conversation ended, he didn’t ask why or anything and I didn’t think there was much to say. So I went off and told my friend BJ and my parents what went on.

The next day I had BJ and her friend come over to visit me and look for some jobs for ourselves. It was a planned thing and Smurf agreed to it a few months back. It’s always better to have trips to other countries planned ahead of time so as to cut the plane ticket costs. They arrived and we started to look for jobs. We went to hotels and fast food restaurants and had fun in the meantime. I was lucky enough to get a job at Burger King at the end of the first week. Now that I had a job/paycheck it would be easier to find someplace to live.

My friends weren’t so lucky so while I was at work they enjoyed Brighton. Most evenings we just spent in my room. BJ felt somewhat sorry that Smurf kept brooding in the living room so she often went off and gave him company. She kept coming back and telling me what he said. Like that he was happy she talked to him because he felt sad we didn’t go to him to hang out. I suppose it didn’t occur to him he could just knock on the door and propose something if he wanted to hang out so badly. He also said that he likes me as a friend but it’s “so hard to change him (meaning: me)”. And thus I learnt of another thing I didn’t understand. Smurf likes me but wants to change me so he likes the person I am but wants me to be a different person from whom he likes. That’s how it sounded to me.

Later on, after BJ and her friend left back to Poland, I was told that Smurf complained a lot about me and mocked me for working at Burger King during the Roleplay Club meetings. It wasn’t a nice thing to hear but it at least shut BJ up about how I should try and mend things with Smurf because it is good to have someone who would let you sleep on his couch at the very least. That way of thinking didn’t lie well with me because it felt like using someone rather than being friends.

After about a week of looking for a place to stay I was contacted by Mr G who Smurf started to play a game of Delta Green with and who I first met two years ago. Mr G apparently wanted to help me out by offering to rent me his spare room because he felt depressed living by himself and that we’re both gamers, have similar tastes and like superheroes, we would get on well together. I told him I don’t have a lot of money to pay rent with, to which he said money wasn’t a problem because he can safely afford the apartment by himself and had some friends stay with him for free before. I did make sure to tell him I heard he was desperate for players for his Delta Green game but I wasn’t interested in it and that he shouldn’t expect me living with him would change that. He didn’t seem to have a problem with that so I asked him if it would be alright if I started to move in slowly over the course of the next few weeks. I didn’t have neither the money nor enough boxes to just pack everything and buy a cab ride. Although more demanding in terms of money and energy, it was cheaper to just go one bag at a time whenever I had a day off. Mr G agreed so all seemed to be looking up... but it quickly spiralled down into a even worse situation than I had before.

I spent the next month on getting my stuff in. I tried to use as many of my days off to move things one bag at a time. Since I only had one bag, I kept packing it with stuff, going on the bus and unpacking it in what would become my room. I couldn’t do it every day I had a day off because Mr G kept texting me about how he was depressed over not having a flatmate and the flat was a mess but I told him that didn’t bother me. This went on for a month during which I sometimes stayed over to watch some films (Ultimate Avengers 1 and 2) and play some games. So things looked nice.

Somewhere during this time Mr G invited me to go see The Last Airbender. I met him outside the cinema and we went in. Before we went in I asked if we’re gonna buy some popcorn, he said he didn’t want any so we just went down to the movie screen room. After we found our seats and sat down, I asked if I could borrow 10 pounds off him to buy some popcorn. He was ok with that so I went upstairs to get some but when I came back, I noticed that the 3D glasses Mr G gave me weren’t on my seat. Mr G then went off to get a new pair. While he was gone, some couple came in with tickets for the seats we were in, so I had to take our stuff and wait for Mr G to return by the door. I told him what happened and he asked me where I do I want to sit so I told him I don’t mind where. He told me to make the decision so I said that it would be best if we sat at the back and in front. So he asked me where I want to sit, I showed the area and he said no. I asked him why and he raised his voice to say “Then go buy premium tickets!”. I backed away and just went to the nearest empty seats. Yeah, I should have taken that as a rather obvious red flag.

The problem was that Mr G has always seemed like a very welcoming and friendly person to me. When I was over to play games at his place, there were always snacks, drinks and he had a very cheerful manner about himself. That’s what it was like when me, Mr G and a couple of our friends met at his place one Sunday to play Antike. Smurf was also there but likely, he avoided talking to me and that was just fine with me.

Somewhere during this time I ended up with kidney stones going through my urinal tract. It was a rather unpleasant experience. At the time when it started I didn’t know what was going on so I tried to ignore it and waited an hour in hopes the pain would pass... but it didn’t. So I went out into the living room to get the phone. I was surprised to see Smurf sleeping on the couch considering how much I wailed in agony but I didn’t want to wake him up. It was Saturday and he should just rest. I called Ms L who was the only person in Brighton with a car I knew and asked her if she could drive me to the hospital. She was already awake so I at least I didn’t feel bad for ruining her morning. She drove me there and after I got morpheme, all was good. Sagitaria visited me in the evening, we talked about In Nomine and he left me a magazine to read. The next day I got discharged and went back to Smurf’s flat. I bumped into him on my way there and he stopped me to say: “Krzyś, I’m your friend and I still care for you so next time you’re in that much pain just wake me up.” I said something along the lines of “yeah, ok” still quite baffled on how he can consider himself my friend after all that he said and went off.

Next Tuesday, Smurf had some people over to play Call of Cthulhu and it was the first time in two months that he simply knocked on my door and asked if I want to join them for dinner. I rejected his offer on the grounds I already eaten but the offer sounded quite fake to me. It’s been 3 days since I was in the hospital and a third session of said game. He didn’t think of inviting me in on the previous two sessions nor offered to do anything when no one else was around. To me it just seemed like a way to show himself in good light to Ms L and the other players. Especially considering how Ms L kept on telling him to just talk to me after he kept complaining how he feels he’s an ogre in the living room because I spent all my time in the living room. So yeah, when I’m in the living room, he’s depressed... when I’m not in the living room, he’s depressed.

I did get to talk to him the next day when I was taking something from the kitchen and he asked me why I didn’t wake him up when I had my kidney problems. I told him I didn’t want to wake him up and he said “aha, I think you had different reasons.” So great, now I’m not only a depressing presence but also a liar. I had enough of it, shrugged and went to my room. Happy at the thought I won’t have to deal with anymore of this nonsense soon.

The next few weeks went rather well. Mr G told me to use his Xbox 360 because otherwise it won’t see any use and he told me how he usually has the TV on because he doesn’t like the silence, saying that he likes having some noise around him. I was at first somewhat meh about playing on a console. Smurf had a Wii and I only played on it twice during my stay with him and I wasn’t all that impressed with the Xbox when I had my visit in Belgium... but when he put on Dragon Age and put the controller in my hands I just decided to go on with what he asked for and played. I played the game when I didn’t have much else to do and when I had to keep myself awake (keeping a proper sleep pattern is difficult). It was a nice game and it let me be in the living room to have some opportunities to talk with Mr G from time to time. Though he mostly spent his time on Facebook... and I honestly didn’t care for what sort of drama he read for me from his friend’s wall.

We played a few games of HeroClix and a game of Lord of the Rings Escalation. All in all, life was good and I just had to adjust. He did surprise me when he said I probably want another shelf in my room and I told him I’d rather have a desk, after that he said: “A desk?” and seemed quite surprised. I don’t really understand why wanting a desk would be considered strange but I just shrugged it off. Then one day he was about to go shopping and asked me what sort of bread I eat. I told him that I’ll buy my own and he said to not worry about it, to just tell him which kind I like and he’ll buy one for the both of us. So I told him I like the brown sort, he was happy that it was the same as him. After that I just made myself a sandwich when I felt hungry. I was also allowed to drink the coke that was in the fridge. When those 3 bottles were gone, next time I went to Tesco I wanted to buy 3 more bottled. Unfortunately, the didn’t have the exact same ones so I went with the discount offer of 2 Pepsi Max and Coke.

Next few weeks I was working mainly in the evenings so I didn’t see much of Mr G. I kept getting back to the flat between 1am and 2am so I just went to bed and when I woke up at 8am I just had my tea while he went to work. Then at about 12 I took a nap so I wouldn’t feel dead at work. Mr G had his lunch break at home so we missed each other at that time too. This went on for a few weeks so I was beginning to think we’re not being all that social with one another. All we did was play a game in the evening when I had a day off and go to bed. So when I had a day off, I went to buy a pizza in the morning for the both of us and waited for Mr G to show up at about 1pm to ask if he’d like to watch some DVD tonight.

He didn’t show up, I waited until it was dark and just when I was about to go to bed. He came in, I turned the Xbox off and was about to talk with him... but he just sat down on his chair and looked rather gloomy. So I asked what’s wrong, he didn’t say anything. So I thought that maybe he wants to be alone for a moment, I asked if he wants me to go and he said: “Yes, I want you to go!” I was a bit surprised at how he raised his voice and then he started talking.

“I didn’t have to go out today with the guys from work but I knew you had a day off. I’ve been drinking to get the courage to tell you this. You’re making me depressed. I don’t want to even be in my own flat. I try to take what Smurf tells me with a grain of salt because he said that you never play just GM all the time and you said you’d love to play DnD when I told you I want to run a game but he’s right, you’re really depressing.”

“But why? What am I doing that’s so depressing?” I asked.

“I don’t know, I don’t know,” he said. “Look, I’m planning holidays to just get away. Me! Planning a holiday! I never go on holidays! This is just not working out. I thought I was making a good deed here but I’m suffering for it. And it’s dangerous when I feel like this. I don’t want you to hate me like you do Smurf, I don’t want to kick you out because Smurf is a lot more selfish than I am. Sagitarria told me not to tell you anything before he has a chance to talk to you because we think you’re clinically depressed. He warned me not to tell you anything because you might jump out the window but I’m manic depressive, I told him I might throw you out before you jump. You know, Sagitarria and Ms L really worry about you and you would do yourself a favour if you’d listen to their advice.”

“Ok, look,” I started to say because at that point we were both not in the proper emotional state to deal with this issue. “Let’s just have some rest and talk things through tomorrow when we’re not horribly tired.”

Unfortunately, the whole ordeal put me down horribly. I ended up crying most of the night and so when I woke up I texted Mr G to tell him I didn’t sleep well and that it would be better if instead of playing Scion on Sunday we would talk things through. The next day I also phoned Sagitarria to tell him about what happened and ask him for advice because I thought it would help if I did what Mr G wanted me to do. Sagitarria offered to help by coming over on Sunday and getting our issues resolved. I thought it would be good to have someone outside of this matter to help reconcile us so I agreed.

The next few days I just went to work in the evening and then back. I wasn’t sure if he was in on Friday but on Saturday I saw light coming out of his room. The door was closed so I just went to the toilet and to sleep. On Sunday, Sagitarria and Mr G were already playing something when I got up. We then played Pandemic and A Game of Thrones before it was time to talk about domestic issues.

His issues were as follows:

- One day he got up and wanted to make himself breakfast only to learn I ate the last slice of bread from the loaf he bought for the both of us
- I constantly play on the Xbox and he can’t have the TV on to listen to the news. Instead he kept just reading them on the net. It was nice of me to turn the Xbox off the moment he said he wanted to watch his soap and then told me to play the Xbox because nothing else was on.
- I got really annoyed he didn’t buy premium tickets and we couldn’t sit at the back of the cinema for The Last Airbender
- I bought myself expensive popcorn when I was having money problems but it was nice of me to give him the money back even though he forgot about it
- I am playing Dragon Age, a game that he already knows because people played it with him in the room so the storyline is just not that interesting
- During the weeks I was moving in I dumped my stuff on the bed without even thinking he might want to have people stay over. I wasn’t even here and I already took the bed
- By keeping to my room the last few days, I was running away from the issues and I made him feel he can’t get out of his own room
- When we played A Game of Thrones, I said “looks like Sagitarria will win next turn” after Sagitarria got 8 Renown in one go (you need 15 to win). To Mr G it sounded like I was saying “Oh no! The Fates are conspiring against me!” while I was just making an ironic joke (because when that happens, you know who will be the target of absolutely everyone next turn)
- I bought the wrong drinks. Mr G doesn’t even drink Pepsi Max, only Diet Coke and I drank the Coke that was for guests
- It was a mistake to cancel Scion to talk about the issues we were having

I told him that I was somewhat annoyed and depressed last week because my bank didn’t cancel my direct debit to Smurf and they couldn’t do anything about the money having gone there. I was annoyed because I couldn’t get in touch with Smurf for days and was starting to think I’ll never see that money back and won’t be able to pay Mr G for rent. But Mr G said it doesn’t matter, that he doesn’t need the money and that Smurf will surely give the money back so there’s nothing to worry about. Apparently he had much more trust in him than I did. I told them that when I finally got in touch with Smurf he told me he has part of the money but will need some time to get the rest. What was strange is that he told Sagitarria and Mr G that he had it all. Sagitarria got me a lift and I took the money off him. It was true, he really did have it all... I don’t know why was I apparently the last person to know that little fact. I was kinda expecting I would hear that first than any 3rd parties not directly involved in this problem.

Next week, I bought X-Men Origins: Wolverine for the Xbox and bought the Diet Cokes. Then I didn’t touch them at all. I had a day off on Wednesday. The first thing Mr G said to me is that he will buy the game off from me. I wasn’t expecting that but didn’t say anything. Then we talked a bit and he told me to play the Xbox since it was my day off while he started ironing his shirts.

On Saturday I was rather happy that things were going well and that I would be able to see some friends and play games on Sunday. I saw Mr G in the morning when he was getting ready to leave for a Magic The Gathering event. I had some soup and my stomach started to hurt, so I just told him I’ll go get some painkillers when I passed him in the corridor. He said that eating pot noodles is just not healthy, I told him that was the first I heard of it. Then I just sat down and had my tea, I didn’t want to get in Mr G’s way when he was going around the flat getting ready. Just before he went off he asked me if I know my schedule for next week (more work in the day than in the evenings) so I gave it to him. He looked it over and went out.

Then he returned a moment later, I thought he might have forgotten something but then he said: “You know what?”

“I don’t want you here! The last week was good but only because you weren’t here! I have to wake up at five to get to work. At FIVE! I've never seen anyone so... so... lethargic. This is me taking out the trash! I can’t take it anymore! Two weeks! Two weeks and I want you OOOOOOOOUUUUUUT!!!” and then he was out the door and gone. He was walking around, shouting and slamming doors the whole time he said that.

The way he just changed from an alright mood to seriously crazy just scared me. I called in sick at work and then called Sagitarria to talk. He came over, we went out to have a meal, talked and then I joined in with him, Ms L and one guy from the Roleplay Club and his other half. We all went to a club and had fun. Sagitarria said getting myself tired from dancing would help me sleep and it did but I still had a nightmare where Mr G was strangling me to death.

On Sunday we played Pandemic and A Game of Thrones but I was really nervous. Just not knowing when Mr G would return terrified me. When I talked with my dad earlier, he said I should have called the police when that happened the other day but I didn’t think of it at the time. He was strangely supportive during the whole thing... not something that I’m used to. Well, for lunch we went to get some pizza and I apologised to Sagitarria for me not being my best right now. After I told him how badly I slept, he offered to let me stay at his place until I find a room.

I got one after a few days and took it. I texted Mr G to tell him I’ll be taking my stuff out on Sunday. He texted me back to say thanks and asked me if I would be in that day because he wanted to have some friends over and me not being there. So I told him I was at Sagitarria’s place this whole week. On Sunday, Sagitarria helped me move my stuff out and I got him lunch. I told him that I hope what happened between me and Mr G would affect their friendship and he assured me it wouldn’t. So I was relieved.

In the evening Mr G texted me to ask if I kept the keys. I texted him to say I forgot about a few things and wanted to give him the keys personally rather than just leaving them on the floor. He said he was fine with that and the next day I had an evening shift, I took the rest of my stuff. The next day I had a day off I texted him to say I can give him the keys back now.

He texted me back to say that after what I told Ms L (it later turned out that it much have been Smurf who told Mr G about what I told Ms L) about him and losing Sagitarria as a friend, he really doesn’t want to see me so I should just put the keys through the mail box on the door... he wished that he never tried to help me...

So I put the keys through the door... The End...

HeroClix Tournament

2010-06-21T13:10:00.001+01:00

A HeroClix tournament was being held this Sunday at Wargames Heaven. It was a 500 points tournament, with four matches and you had to include a Superman figure on your team. Before I go into my impressions, here are the figures I used.

Brave and the Bold #010
Jason Blood

Range:

Team:

Mystics

Keywords:

Mystical

Cost:

44 Points

ALTER EGO: ETRIGAN: Give this character a power action and replace this character with a Brave and the Bold #039 Etrigan on its orange starting line. Existing action tokens from this character, as well as action tokens and pushing damage for this action are applied to the replacement Etrigan. If replaced, no victory points are awarded for this character and the replacement Etrigan is considered to be 44 points for all game effects.

Brave and the Bold #013
Checkmate Pawn (Black)

Range:

Team:

None

Keywords:

Checkmate, Soldier

Cost:

25 Points

BATTLEFIELD PROMOTION: When Checkmate Pawn (Black) KOs or critical hits a character, after the action is resolved but before pushing damage is applied you may replace this character with Brave and the Bold #014 Checkmate Knight (Black) on its starting click. If replaced, existing action tokens from this character are applied to the replacement Checkmate Knight (Black) and victory points are not awarded for this character.

Brave and the Bold #013 Superman		12	12	12	12	12	11	11	10	9	8	KO	KO
		9	9	10	10	10	9	9	9	9	9	KO	KO
		18	18	18	18	17	17	17	17	17	16	KO	KO
		4	4	4	5	4	5	4	4	3	3	KO	KO
	Range:			8
	Team:			Superman Ally
	Keywords:			Metropolis, Reporter, Trinity
	Cost:			216 Points

Brave and the Bold #028
Pawn 502

Range:

Team:

None

Keywords:

Checkmate, Spy, Strike Force Kobra

Cost:

44 Points

Brave and the Bold #032 Kryptonite Man		7	7	7	7	7	7	7	KO	KO	KO	KO	KO
		10	9	9	9	9	9	8	KO	KO	KO	KO	KO
		17	17	17	16	16	15	15	KO	KO	KO	KO	KO
		3	3	2	3	2	3	2	KO	KO	KO	KO	KO
	Range:			0
	Team:			Superman Enemy
	Keywords:			Scientist
	Cost:			121 Points
SUPERMAN'S BANE: (non-optional) Characters within 8 squares of Kryptonite Man that possess the Superman Ally team ability or are named "Superman" have Earthbound/Neutralized and damage dealt to them may not be reduced below 1. When these characters are given a non-free action, modify their speed values by -3 for that action.

Ultimates #015 Lizard		9	8	8	7	7	6	6	KO	KO	KO	KO	KO
		10	9	8	8	7	7	6	KO	KO	KO	KO	KO
		16	15	15	14	14	13	13	KO	KO	KO	KO	KO
		2	2	2	2	2	2	2	KO	KO	KO	KO	KO
	Range:			0
	Team:			None
	Keywords:			Animal, Scientist, Sinister Syndicate
	Cost:			50 Points

I only had one Superman figure so I had to include him. He took nearly half of my points total so I had t either go for less figures with a higher point total or the reverse. I choose to have more figures. I went with Kryptonite Man, knowing that I will be facing a Superman each round. My plan was to use Kryptonite Man in close combat while keeping Superman at range, since he is a very good range combatant. Jason Blood was there to offer his Probability Control to Kryptonite Man and Superman. I was hoping to use the Lizard as a lock-in-place figure. The Pawns were mainly there to fill in the point slot. Pawn 502 had running shot so I hoped for him to be useful in hit and run tactics while Checkmate Pawn (Black) was there in case I manage to get lucky and upgrade him to Checkmate Knight (Black).

It didn't go as well as planned. Lots of people had Leap/Climb and Hypersonic Speed on their force but the Lizard was still quite useful since he ignored all terrain while moving. The map we had used a lot of hindering terrain squares so my Stealth figures could shoot from the shadows... even if they kept on missing. The problem I had was that the moment Kryptonite Man was KOed, I was on a significant disadvantage.

What I didn't expect was that each round had special rules for the Superman figure. First you could not use Superman, second he had none of his powers, third all his stats were at -2 while the fourth one meant taking him out gave you double the points. It was a shame I didn't have Etrigan since I had a few opportunities were I could have brought him out and I never did get to use my Checkmate Knight (Black).

Still... I had a lot of fun, learned some stuff about the rules and I did progressively well each round. Even though I came out last, I did get some stuff. Mainly because the prizes were the right to choose what you get first. So everyone ended up with something, while I got these:

Brave and the Bold #103
Lizard

Range:

Team:

None

Keywords:

Martial Artist

Cost:

43 Points

(I did get to dress up as my Superman figure)

and now I'm looking forward to the next tournament!

is a subconscious sexist

2010-05-29T07:53:00.000+01:00

Today I dreamt about being at a conference called by one policeman. He had this idea of making a pinup calendar featuring policewomen and showed us some samples of his photography. I started telling him he's just a sexist and that this won't work. It's hard enough to get them to want to have photos taken of them and he wants them naked in sexy poses, that's nigh impossible. Not to mention why should they want to be photographed by a guy who has 4 photos of an under-aged girl in the toilet?

So I went downstairs to see if the school ceremony ended, it did. But during my upward slide downstairs (yes, it was surreal) I met the two principals who were worried about me passing my course and wanted some opinion on some English translations, mainly the word wielbić...

Then I went though a corridor. It was slippery so I slid all the way through, though I had to make sure not to go near the walls since women were next to a door. The corridor also had to be kept very dark so no one would get a good look at the female species. I was wondering how am I supposed to find an exit in all this darkness but I managed to see an open door on the left at the end of the corridor.

You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

2010-05-09T19:02:00.000+01:00

I'd keep the button for later. There were people who I would make explode some time ago but nowadays there aren't any... I'm sure they will resurface at some point -_-'

Ask me anything

What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

2010-05-03T21:55:00.000+01:00

This is actually a very had question due to the principle that the moment I say what the question is that I would lie to, it would be asked of me and I either have the choice of ignoring it or answering thus making people know what my true answer would be. Unless I use the reverse psychology tactic which could backfire anyway! Not to mention, even just giving out the question would give people an idea of what the embarrassing answer would be.

Having said that, I had a problem coming up with one. I'm usually an open person I guess... if asked about things. I don't like going around and saying absolutely everything about me because I don't see a point in it. I finally came up with one sort of question that I would pretty much never directly answer: anything about my friends.

Oh sure, I talk about what people tell me... but in relation to myself and I never use names unless it's okay between all involved. I like keeping secrets and the reputation I garner from not being a blabber mouth allows me to be as curious and nosy as I like ^^

Ask me anything

Why do men like breasts?

2010-04-28T23:44:00.001+01:00

It is a fascination that has eluded me for many years.

I've been told that breasts are what makes a woman feel sexy. So I suppose the sight of big boobs makes a man think of the woman as a potential sexual partner. There's probably some hormone levels being raised there too.

On the other hand I've been also told that it's something in our ancient ancestry that makes breasts seem similar to butt cheeks, thus calling to our primitive instincts to mate. This one I find a bit of a stretch.

Or maybe it's because media portray big breasted women as beautiful thus if you're going out with one other males see it as you being a lucky bastard. Envy ensues, it's a nice feeling to be the object of envy too...

I'm still looking for a good answer to this question -_-'

Ask me anything

When was the last time you received flowers?

2010-04-19T05:31:00.001+01:00

I don't think I ever gotten any flowers from anyone...

Ask me anything

Do you have any scars on your body? If so, how did you get them?

2010-04-07T07:07:00.002+01:00

I have two scars on each side of my forehead that I got after my doggie jumped on me and bit it off, I would have lost an eye if not for my dad being close enough to hear my screams. I lost a lot of blood that day and remember losing consciousness twice before we reached the hospital.

My other scar is on my stomach, got it from Luna.

I also had a really nice one running down from my knee that my favourite puppy gave me but it healed after a few weeks.

My last one is under the middle finger of my right hand, I got it while I was sparring with my sister. She had this chain with stars and I hit her on the hip, she weaved away in such a way that my hand caught the stars and I split myself open.

Ask me anything

What is your quest?

2010-04-02T20:33:00.000+01:00

to find the Holy Grail

Ask me anything

If you could be a star athlete in any sport, which sport would you pick?

2010-04-01T16:55:00.000+01:00

I'm not a big fan of sports but I do love running. Even though in my current condition I am really bad at it... so it's time to go off and start some training!

Oh Dear...

2010-03-06T08:23:00.000Z

You know how when you read you're supposed to be actually reading for your enjoyment... or that old meme that pops up every now and then about how you are able to read any word despite all but the first and last letters being completely mixed up?

Well... I've got a different problem... while I quite enjoyed Changeling The Lost... I felt compelled to grab a pen and note every single mistake I could find within the book on my first reading... which I then posted on the White Wolf Livejournal more than two years ago..

I might as well post the list here... just to illustrate how messed up I am...

30: „The Hedge can as easily manifest as immaculately landscaped Victorian hedgerows as it can ghastly stinking bogs where passage is marked (or hidden) by treacherous streches of murky water.”
33: „As a result, trusting another changeling or making a mutual pledge of friendship or alliance is an profound act that changelings do not take lightly.”
81: “He the puts one dot each into Intelligence and Resolve, which puts him squarely in the average in those areas.”
87: “Minor banes can be a painful aversion to the sound of church bells, exposure to wolfsbane or hearing a one’s name.”
126: “In general, though, images and symbols will mostly as they did in the dream (as with a changeling who assumes the “costume” of an entity in the dream), while an item will appear by and large as it did in the sleeper’s thoughts.”
127: “Hearth Contracts are a broad path of beneficial effects, boons that a changeling can grant to an individual or himself when he needs and extra edge of just a little bit of influence from something greater than himself.”
137: “Everyone else within range doubles all environmental penalties to Wits rolls involving perception, including Wits + Composure rolls, as well as Wits + Skill rolls to notice events or Wit’s + Investigation rolls to intentionally search for something.”
139: “The dice pool for this attack is Dexterity + Brawling + half of the character’s Wyrd.”
147: “Mortals can clearly see they are talking speaking to a creature of inhuman appearance, but this merely impresses them to the extent that mortal onlookers are incapable of attacking the character except in self-defense.”
164: “The caster knows the outcome of something random or similarly unknowable in her immediately vicinity, such as which of four streets the people she is pursuing fled down or which roll of scratch-tickets to buy to win between $10 and $25.”
164: “Each success reduces one die of ranged combat penalties normally due to the target’s distance (range penalties), position (such as being prone), size (for very small targets) or environmental factors such as darkness, snow, cover penalties or anything else that doesn’t directly work directly upon the changeling.”
176: “This is the not the full limit of the changeling’s pledges, however; other kinds of pledges may be invested into other aspects of the changeling, from his true name to his connections to mortals and the fae.”
176: “Though the changeling’s true name is shared by another, the changeling still have the right to swear oaths by it.”
196: “This is a process then can take days.”
201: “(though some particularly power tokens offer staggering shifts in perception)”
203: “Taking a pint of blood will, when drawn, causes one lethal point of damage (or one Vitae in the case of vampires).”
207: “The bump because to rupture within minutes, spilling out several insects or bugs – a small cloud of black flies, a dozen spiders or maybe a passel of centipedes.”
207: “However, the nightmares also confer the Phobia derangement (mild), with the focus being of that phobia being insects.”
214: “If multiple changelings are in the same area, they effects they have on the Hedge meld together in subtle ways, though the changeling with the highest Wyrd rating always has the greatest influence on the area (with one possible exception, discussed below).”
244: “Unless the players all decide to create Courtless characters of the beginning of the chronicle, the rebels’ ideology will probably seem to radical to the characters, and they’ll decline, which can make for a scene of good, tense diplomacy as they try to extract themselves from the rebels’ company now that the characters know the rebels’ plans.”
251: “The player can, of course, leave this entirely up to the Storyteller, under the rationale that the character probably knows nothing about her fetch, and this if fine, if the Storyteller is amenable to the extra work.”
253: “Experience plays a large role in development, and how could the experiences of an Fae-enslaved human and an Earthbound fetch possibly be the same?”
255: “Echoes, as the name implies, as powers based upon the fetch’s relationship with its changeling counterpart.”
257: “The fetch can enter the Hedge the same ways that a changeling can(see p. 216).”
257: “The fetch can only shadows only from living beings with souls.”
267: “Perhaps, when that byway is severed, the rest of the changelings will see realize the danger and see how effective it is to cut themselves off from the Hedge, and thus the Fair Lands, completely.”
273: “Although the True Fae often retain their ability to take on their natural form when out on the hunt or otherwise traveling in the human world, banished Fae no longer has this ability.”
276: “Regardless, the Noppera-Bo will use their human or changeling seeming to work their way into the company of a group, playing up their apparent weakness or injuries to full affect.”
315: “Some who discover their presence have begged to be in the order, and have are been chosen for if their talents at manipulating fear and generating terror are up to par (or at least have the potential to be) – but that is the exception to the rule, not the rule itself.”

yes, dear reader... I'm that sad...

Na Zdrowie!

2010-02-23T02:49:00.002Z

Me and alcohol have a strange relationship.

I was never a fan of alcohol. In my high school years, when everyone was trying to get their friends to buy lots of alcohol to go out into the forest at night for a drinking party... I was bored... I tried those parties a few times but beer just doesn't have the right taste for me and I have trouble consuming anything with a bad taste.

I got drunk once... never again... every time I feel like I'm losing grip on my stomach, I stop drinking for the night.

Not being an extremely social person, I didn't go to pubs all that often either so I only drank on my own for special occasions. Thus I hardly had any alcohol for a few years. In fact, the most I had was when going back to see my mom and have a cider every evening until I got fed up with it.

All this changed after I moved in to the Awesome Flat. It is a flat of such epic proportions that if you're not jealous of me living here, there's something wrong with you and you should go see your doctor so he can send you to a mental hospital... but I digress...

Going out to have a drink with my friends has become a regular thing. I actually started to enjoy drinking, something that I thought I'd never achieve and so I must say it's true that the enjoyment depends on the company.

Still... there is one interesting thing I noticed... there seems to be a point in the day where I just feel fed up with drinking. If I spend a few hours drinking one day, I have a lot less of a drive to drink the next day. It's like my body and mind wants to have a break from drinking. Which I don't mind since they spare me the joys of a hungover. Seriously, the worst I got was feeling like I had a stone in my stomach...

eh... drinking... still don't know how I feel about it... stuff was much simpler when it was all NO instead of the maybe of nowadays...

Reality is a Toy

2010-02-21T14:41:00.002Z

Finally I had a dream worth mentioning but this time it was more of a concept than a story since it revolved around people mysteriously gaining the ability to manipulate an aspect of reality. With time, they could expand their purview to a much broader field and thus certain people became royalty. The dream was basically about them not getting along and fighting each other but I only managed to remember the characters who appeared and only snippets of the story.

The Prince of the City was a man who could pick up any object that was part of the city as if it weighted as much as a feather and he could shape it as if it was clay. When giant robots attacked the city, he fashioned himself a gigantic mech out of concrete and cars and proceeded to smash them with nearby buildings.

The Queen of Music could manipulate every object in the music industry as well as music itself and anyone who considered themselves music fans... who were her worshippers anyway.

There was one guy who was transporting a criminal and he had control over Ignorance... so when the Prince of the City smacked him with a street lamp, he just acted like nothing happened.

The Baron of Fast Food was funny... he had a monthly meeting in his restaurant with the managers of different restaurant chains...

Do you secretly divide by zero?

2010-02-20T11:30:00.001Z

only when I want to reach infinity!

Ask me anything

What's that novel of yours? What genre, what length? I demand details!

2010-02-08T22:57:00.000Z

It's a novel about a guy who cheated Death once and is now called by Death to guide the ghosts of people who died in an accident due to a mistake in the underworld bureaucracy. They have unfinished business that needs to be taken care of so Fate doesn't fall apart from a butterfly effect.

The story focuses on how this guy (Jack) is teaching the ghosts their powers, the various approaches to life represented by the five deceased and his girlfriend (Rachael) dealing with keeping his body hidden for the time he returns.

As far as genre goes I'd call it horror but I expect it to lean more towards comedy with some romance added in.

The length will be as long as it will need. For now it's 4 pages, 2 of which I need to throw out and write again. It goes slow because most my writing, reading and thinking goes to university rather than creative writing.

But now that I'm taking creative writing classes again, this may very well change...

Do you expect the Spanish Inquisition?

2010-01-27T14:30:00.002Z

Yes... I am no one!

Ask me anything

Gay Cucumbers

2010-01-26T01:38:00.003Z

Here is a conversation I had today (technically yesterday) on Gaia. It lacks the quote formatting but I think it's still easy to follow...

BLACK METAL MAYO b banned

If they say other wise.. Well.. They're a fucking liar. Or a faggot. In which case throw holy water on them and tell them to quit shoving cucumbers up their ass. :{ Those are for salad, not for butthole penetration.

Lunatyk5

one doesn't contradict the other

BLACK METAL MAYO b banned

I don't speak your language.
i'm sorry.

Lunatyk5

it's okay... I forgive you...

BLACK METAL MAYO b banned

What the fuck?
I don't recall this.
You word twisting crafty little jew.

Lunatyk5

I think you need to start taking a lot of pictures... but that's okay... I can make you a cucumber soup to make you feel happy

What was your favorite TV show as a child?

2010-01-23T21:41:00.002Z

Apparently it was He-Man and the Masters of the Universe... My mom tells me I loved that show and was running around with a sword all day long...

Ask me anything

Why does the world end in 2012?

2010-01-17T20:03:00.002Z

We will know when the time comes... until then live life to your fullest as the clock is ticking...

Ask me anything

What are your New Year resolutions for 2010?

2010-01-17T20:02:00.002Z

I need to think a bit about this but here they are:

1 - Get a Degree
2 - Start Drawing
3 - Make Progress on Novel Writing (4% done)
4 - Take up the Habit of going for a weekly run
5 - Have Less To Read books (160)
6 - Have Less Currently Reading books (14)
7 - Blog more
8 - Try not to Lose Weight
9 - Try to Make Myself Available
10 - Start Smoking

Ask me anything

What were your New Year resolutions for 2009, and did you adhere to them?

2010-01-03T11:49:00.002Z

Fortunately, I have written them down!

1. Be More of a Jerk

It went well... I think I managed to be less of a pushover, even though I'm still quite nice towards people. I still try not to let my concern about other people's feelings to stop me from being myself around strangers I should not care about.

2. Cease activity on the Polish side of the internet

Success! I stopped going to sites I really didn't like the community of. Keeping up with news, even when it's in a language I should read more of is never worth the stress.

3. Get a BA

Fail... This was a really bad year and I'm glad I still have a chance to get a proper education...

4. Learn some prayers

Fail... same reason as above...

5. Read More

While my mood throughout the year was bad enough I couldn't engage my mind into anything, I think I managed to read a bit more than last year...

6. Send some story to some magazines

I started doing the research, looking for magazines to send my story to... but then everything went downhill and I abandoned this too...

7. Start Jogging

As you might have guessed by now, this too is a Fail. After the shit hit the fan... eh...

8. Write Stuff

I tried... but found that my mind just isn't in anything other than despair over how things have become. So I focused on getting out of the mess instead.

Yep... I'm lame...

Ask me anything

How much sugar does awesomesauce contain?

2010-01-01T13:03:00.002Z

After many hours of gruesome contemplation I have reached the conclusion that the true amount of sugar in AWESOMESAUCE if known to the mortal mind, will make said mind explode, leaving the brain an empty shell of its past glory...

thus only the not so intelligent people are capable of knowing the Truth!

Ask me anything

Why does this eye keep staring at me?

2009-12-27T08:29:00.002Z

Weil wenn du lange in das Internet blickst, blickt das Internet auch in dich hinein.

Ask me anything

What's up with Krishna and cows?

2009-12-24T08:28:00.002Z

my knowledge of Hindu mythology is rather limited... but a quick internet search tells me Krishna was a cow-herder in youth...

I think there's something there...

Ask me anything

Why do women have nipples?

2009-12-23T07:00:00.002Z

so that babies can drink their milk and grow healthy and smart

Ask me anything

If two cows enter a barn and three leave afterwards, how many cows are in the barn, getting devoured by Cthulhu?

2009-12-23T06:57:00.004Z

The Great Cthulhu devours all so the answer to how many cows he will consume is the same as always: All of Them...

Only the True Followers of the Great Cthulhu are safe until such time when the infidels are devoured, which amounts to a few extra seconds of your life!

Ask me anything

The Weekend

2009-12-01T14:00:00.002Z

On Saturday I went to DragonMeet where I saw Insane_Prophet, Deoq and Revamp... Mithras didn't show up, no clue what's up with him... I was with my flatmate and another friend so we had some confusion as to what we're doing and I ended up walking on the guys halfway through a game of some Wrestlers RPG... I just sat next to them and read one of the books I bought... on to the things I bought!

Geist: The Sin-Eaters - I buy a White Wolf book every time I go to DragonMeet...
Hero System 6th Edition Volume 1 - the part with Character Creation rules, heavy book but I'm glad I bought it... I just like reading a book instead of a pdf... and I am running a superhero game using it...
Superiors 4: Rags to Riches - an In Nomine supplement detailing some Demon Princes, it was in the cheap stuff section, where I usually find out-of-print books...
War for the Throne - I normally buy an Exalted book this time of the year... but there weren't any so I got myself this Exalted boardgame... I'll play it this Saturday with my group...
a skull ring - it was cheaper than a pendant and I thought it's about time to wear rings... I'm also thinking of piercing my ear/s...
HeroClix - two booster sets since they were half-price and there are guys playing it on Sunday in the same shop I go to on the weekends... I got Batman and Batman 1 Million!
Dice - I bought a lot of various dice, one with a side that has the Union Jack, another with a skull, one with just Good/Evil/Neutral on it and one double d10 (a bigger d10 that has a smaller d10 in it)...

I also bought a die with poop on it and green 9d10 for Seventh Attempt... it was funny, I bought them from Q-Workshop which I know is a Polish company, I noticed that the staff has Polish names on their T-shirts (Magda, Przemek) so when they asked me what I think of the dice, I replied in Polish, talked a bit and they gave me a poster for free!

as the convention was coming to an end, I started looking for my flatmate but he was nowhere to be found so me and my other friend (the one who is also in my group here in Brighton) went to catch the train. While on the Overground, this friend got a call from a guy who is part of his London group and was invited to come over to game... so I went with him and we played Magic The Gathering, had pizza and finished off with Ave Caesar (a chariot racing board game)... best thing is that this group consists of two couples and both wives are hot...

I returned home at 1am and woke up with a cold the next day... my parents came over in the morning, my mom made dinner while me and my dad struggled with assembling the bike I bought... then me, my parents and my flatmate had dinner... I translated the conversation between them... then me and my dad had some mock lightsaber fight photos taken of us... my mom had a glass of wine with the flatmate while me and my dad played House of the Dead Overkill on the Wii with the pistol thingies...

after the first game, my dad got used to the controller and it was suddenly very hard to beat him in point scoring...

we went to bed after the game... after breakfast my parents went to Sainsbury's to buy my mom lunch for when she'll be on the plane and she bought Cif so she can clean up the bathroom before leaving...

then we said our goodbyes...

Ravage

2009-11-24T13:34:00.001Z

so I just got another birthday present... this time from the United States courtesy of some Dane...

here the pictures of it, click on them for a larger version...

Transformers! Robots in Disguise!
Transformers! More than Meets the Eye!
The Autobots wage their war
to destroy the evil forces of
The Decepticons!
Transformers! Robots in Disguise!
Transformers! More than Meets the Eye!

yes, it's a USB flash drive of 2GB... most people say it's not much but it's the largest I ever had so I'm pretty happy with it... besides, I lost my previous one and now I finally have the means to take my files with me!

here is the package of Ravage himself... naturally, being a cat Ravage is the coolest Decepticon there is!

the package has a lot of Kanji... I didn't expect that from a store situated in the United States but I guess it's just one of those things...

Finally... for a product this small... they really did send me a huge box... I expected it to be wrapped and put in my mailbox so I was fairly surprised when the postman delivered it to my door... but then, now I have a carton box to put stuff in...

Ravage also comes with an animation software. After installing it, every time the USB is plugged in, I have Ravage walk on my desktop and I can give him commands... like eat an icon!

I need to play with him some more :)

Quotes

2009-11-13T18:14:00.004Z

I do enjoy the quotes Qendi posts on his blog... so here are some of mine:

J1: So how do I knock someone unconscious in this system?
K: You knock them on the head

J2: I walk through the town and try to get a feeling for it
K: *scribbles down a note*
J2: *reads, looks at me* That bad?

M: You chew your way through into the building, there's a woman in the office you end up in and the door is closed. No matter what you do, you'll have to roll Dexterity + Stealth!
K: No matter what? Alright, I turn into a raven, fly up blocking the window and screech at the woman *rolls dice*, I got 1 success!

Adulthoodery

2009-08-21T20:21:00.001+01:00

Growing up has always been a strange concept to me. It is a process of change, at which end we become adults. Becoming an adult has always been an important part of society, even today we have rites of passage in form of high school finals. Matura is called the Adult Test and the fuss about it is at that level. A few months later, it's forgotten so I'm always unsure why we put such a big importance on being an adult and have this strange concept of what an adult is.

When we had a party in primary school, someone spilled a drink on my food and the teacher said I shouldn't worry because it all gets mixed in my stomach anyway. I find that explanation as unreasonable today as I did then.

I still hold true to the ideologies that I had then, ignoring all those voices telling me I was too young/stupid to hold any. In essence, the only thing that changed about me is that I can express myself better and learned new social tricks. There's very little change involved in growing up, most of it is learning the ability to manoeuvre in social environments and a lot of self-discovery. Yet we have this notion of child and adult, two opposing concepts defined by visual perceptions.

We see kids play with toys, they're into games, comics, lego, transformers, anime and all that weird stuff. Seeing kids being into all that we associate it with what a child is, then our obsession with a rite of passage tells us there is a line between an adult and a child, that you can only be one or the other. We end up with situation where if you have a collection of superhero figures on a shelf in your house, you're acting childish. The only way to be an adult in that mindset is to leave those things behind and to offer yourself to work, paying bills and watching the news. It is irrelevant that having that collection doesn't immediately mean a person doesn't do any of those adult things, that the childish replaces the adult.

A child has the connotation of innocence, adult doesn't. So maybe an adult doesn't like people acting like kids because in some subconscious flare of symbolic logic, he wants to drag them into his pit of sin. On the other hand, an adult is responsible, a child isn't. We would like to deal with responsible people, who stick to their word and think before they do or say anything. Yet the world is filled with irresponsible adults who are not into childish things.

"When will you finally grow up?" becomes a strange question. It's hard to reply without seeing misguidance in it. Sure, buying a toy is expensive but I hardly have the same level of expenses as someone who spends his disposable income on alcohol and cigarettes. Is it really better to not spend anything at all and just hole yourself up in work? There's still family that you can turn to instead of work but then, family is a very childish thing. An adult can live alone but a child has real problems doing the same.

I'm going to be a child for as long as I live because I care about you, because passion should not die with age and be replaced by normality, because seeing the wonders of the world and the mind is never boring, because playing with children is more fun than drinking with adults.

Because buying a toy for half price makes me smile for weeks to come...

It's been so long...

2009-07-15T14:39:00.005+01:00

I haven't posted in a while... mainly because at first I didn't have what to write about... at first... then everything blew out of proportion and I didn't have time to say anything...

After all the semester ending madness subsided, with me being sick for a week at the end and running madly to catch up... by the way, it is very unpleasant to have a rather nasty fever while there's a party downstairs... then I had a week to prepare myself for a journey to Poland.

I am too lazy to check if I said anything about it already but I am not going to apologise for repeating myself (my blog, I'll do whatever I want with it!): My dad had car issues and I had to deal with an insurance company, the repairs garage and the lack of communication between them. Later on I had to deal with the rental company too... and it all lasted a month at the end of which dad got a cheque (that had problems going to its destination) and a broken car so he had to buy a new one.

We were supposed to go to Poland by car but it broke down and couldn't be repairs so I had to buy myself a plane ticket and repack everything in my possession for that trip since my landlord decided he will be painting the house. That was not a nice day to have. At least I managed to buy cool toys for my little Siths :D

and then we had one week with parents, which was okay and then a week without parents, at the end of which I went to a con in Warsaw... I'll have the report posted soon enough with some seminar reviews/reports/stuff... naturally, I spent some time with Vegael, watching films and hanging out... he can still be annoying but he got me a really cool external hard-drive full of anime so I won't stab him... for now... oh... and he was happier about getting Darkly Dreaming Dexter than I expected...

In the recent weeks I spent a lot of time with the Godmother of my oldest Sith Apprentice. She's a fun gal and we hanged out in town, the streets, the malls, the parks... we even saw Terminator Salvation together... and I cried, it was such a moving film... I'm a terrible wuss...

Last time we were out together some drunk guy wanted money from us... even though we refused, he kept following us until he grabbed her by the arm... and I had to be MANLY... apparently, my manliness causes people to give up... then we went to eat some kebab... and I had a chuckle when she ordered a kebab without kebab...

Other than that, I borrowed a book on Shamanism and Hungarians from Książnica Podlaska's director... my poetry book is starting to look like reality, finally... I will have a print run of 300 copies.

I regained the ability to use maps in my online games... which makes combat all the more enjoyable... I like it when players have to decide between a Move and a Dash, who to attack and where to place themselves from tick to tick...

I might be running yet another Exalted game though this time it will not be on RPoL and it will involve different things from player characters... seduction and torture will be a more viable part of it than in United We Stand...

First episode of mine and Daniel's podcast... where we topple how to make a campaign using one of mine as an example (Saint Christopher's Orphanage for Lost Children!)... has been recorded... four more to go and we'll be looking at releasing them to the public...

and I think that's all... I better go write some emails to people... oh... and I might put something on DeviantArt... some character fiction at least...

2009-04-07T21:21:00.002+01:00

I sit here... thinking of getting tea... pondering if it's wise to have tea knowing I just brushed my teeth... is there meaning to sipping a cup of hot tea filled with sugar to keep my eyes open as I stare into the empty soul of the internet void... that black pit filled with all manner of nastiness... among them this very post...

the stars tell me to drink tea...
the dice tell me to drink tea...
your mom tells me to drink tea...

and yet... I fear to give in to Fate... as it is an evil mistress...

on the other hand... mischief is right next to angst when it comes to my personality traits...

ah, my personality traits... how I love watching them fight in a battle royale in my mindscape...

I end up having a lot of fun thoughts that way...

alas, lately I was too busy calling insurance, repair garage and car rental to get into the appropriate mindset to do anything else... my essay isn't going so well either...

maybe I finish the draft tomorrow... or maybe I won't...

I still find it hard to relax... I can't seem to get into the mindset of just letting time go by... it all has to be on schedule and according to a plan that I myself can't keep up with because my expectations towards myself are inhuman...

yes... I better get some of that tea...

Hear no Evil

2009-04-07T09:45:00.000+01:00

Created by Train Horns

2009-03-18T21:06:00.003Z

I haven't made a proper entry in ages... partly because I spent the time moving posts from Livejournal to this place... and partly because I'm trying to stop posting how negative I feel about absolutely everything...

so without making this post deeply philosophical and negative, let's have a look at what's buzzing in my head

I started to regularly play on Saturdays. The games alternate between Scion run by me (The Stoicheion Pentagram) and In Nomine not run by me. Same group for both, the GM of In Nomine is a cool guy, like the rest of the group... it's a relaxing experience and it actually gives me energy to be more productive during the week... strange...

I'm writing up a play report from those Scion sessions, which goes very slowly. Especially this week when I have to deal with writing a literature review for Higher Education...

The research projects aren't going too bad, even though I keep hitting myself on the head for not making more progress than I'm doing. I keep feeling like if I were to stop being lazy, I would have it all done by now... even though the due dates are in June... but that's me being me...

United We Stand goes well. We had a rough patch earlier this month but it seems like we prevailed, once again. I'm really proud of that game... I even make a wiki for it on Obsidian Portal and put there what I had in my notes. It's not much but I hope my players will contribute, it's a wiki, right? I'm summarising the threads and building up a network for the wiki pages but it's going even slower than The Stoicheion Pentagram.

Another thing that I'm working on is making posts for Alea Iacta Est. How fast am I making them? The last post, about 700 words, I wrote up in two weeks... and I can type fast... funnily enough, since I posted a link to the Blog Carnival, my traffic went up to 21 views yesterday... I have some other posts saved in drafts, only one is finished and it's really short...

including the super secret project (which had a little setback that the Team is trying to destroy), it may seem like I am focusing too much on roleplaying related stuff... I don't think so, most of my time is still spent studying... I just don't feel any confidence in my research projects... I might be even focusing too much on one project at the expense of my other two...

My heart really isn't in studying right now. I don't know why, I never felt this down about it in my life... I'm sure I get over it, I'll read and write what I'm supposed to and get whatever grades I get... it's just the next step that's really scary...

There's a DnD 4th Edition day tomorrow at the Roleplaying Club I go to... now I'm wondering if I should go... I just don't feel like I deserve it...

Will I ever stop being this much of a workaholic? Unlikely...
Will I ever stop being such a wuss and cry-baby? Even less likely...

Scion Quotes

2009-03-08T13:22:00.002Z

"How big is this Tiamat?"
"Taking into account that after defeating her, Marduk split her in half and created the Earth and Sky from those two halves, I presume she's very, very big."

"Okay, the wind is so strong that it might pick you up. Roll Stamina+Fortitude to resist... okay, you're starting to float into the sandstorm."
"I grab her hand!"
"You got yourself a human balloon."

"Physics don't work like that."
"Physics doesn't apply to me because I'm Awesome!"

"But if he throws the lion at the griffin which is holding you up in the air, both Titanspawn will end up on top of you!"
"I can take it, I have fucking Endurance!"

BookMooch is cool

2009-03-03T21:42:00.003Z

I have just received my first book from BookMooch. It's the first book in the Victoria Nelson series Blood Price and I wanted to check it out since watching Blood Ties... it came from Germany... I wasn't sure if I'd like BookMooch that much since I enjoy having books on my shelf but now at least I have a way to get rid of unwanted books without destroying them... too bad the site isn't so good when it comes to grabbing popular titles... nor is it that good when you're not from the United States but that's nothing new on the internet...

Since we're on the subject of books... apparently, having a book on twentieth century short stories means I might be interested in cookbooks...

Mercy and Justice

2009-02-20T09:02:00.003Z

In Victorian London, two lovers were to be given to different spouses. They could not bare the thought so thy ran away together to the east side. On their first night, the two fools were robbed and the young woman raped. Thus began her slow descent into madness, she began to see her assailant everywhere, her life was a series of wailing, shaking in terror and sleeping from exhaustion. The young man tried to calm her down, searched for a job and found an urge in himself to find the man who robbed them. There was another threat he had to fight with, the neighbours demanding his love were to be given to a mental institution.

Years later, they went to America but instead of finding the American Dream, they found an economic depression. The fact that they neither aged nor died was not lost on them but they were happy to have more time together. The young woman finally free from the madness after the young man found and killed her attacker after all these years. Now they would kill together, she those who craved for the release of death, he those who were judged not to be worthy of walking among the living.

They had their questions; why nothing could kill them? why no one could find them? why did they roam the streets like ghosts?

One day they descented to the underworld. They saw the miserable, the sufferers, the unfaithful, the wrathful, the treacherous and the murderers. The more they walked in, the better this place felt, they were lords in their own domain. In the great city they found their answers when brought before their Godmother and Godfather. They told them thus:

"All that is alive must die. Sometimes the living beg for more time but to create that time it needs to be taken from others. We offered your parents a deal, we would give them the life time of their unborn children. You were born but you were never alive and so you will never die. This is not the first time and not the last. Humanity is growing and we are no longer able to act as the angels of death for all of it. You will share our burden. One for mercy, One for justice."

They agreed... but not everyone did. Years later they would meet those who could not stand this. The deal, they said, was unnatural and against the laws set forth by the universe. The rogue faction searched for allies to wage war on Lord and Lady Death, soon the young lovers would need to take a stand like all the pairs before them did.

Working Weekend is Free

2009-02-16T09:56:00.002Z

A while ago my dad asked me about one thing in relation to work.

As some of you may (or may not) know, my dad works as a lorry driver. Every other week, he drives off on Friday to make a delivery and returns to base on a Saturday because it's such a long trip from point A to B. Apparently, his employer now tells him that working four hours on a Saturday isn't work so he won't be paid for driving back to base on the weekend. The matter could be resolved simply by not working on Saturday but the situation is such that if he doesn't, he'll be spending the weekend in the lorry...

So he asked me to find out if this is even legal for an employer to do...

The Colour of Magic

2009-02-12T22:42:00.003Z

The Colour of Magic is a very misleading title for this film. It is based not on the first Discworld book by Terry Pratchett but on the two first. The Light Fantastic is encompassed by the second part of the film which bares the same title. As such, the film varies from the book in that it meshes the two plots together... or rather, one plot, since as Pratchett says himself, the first book is just a series of funny stories.

Funny stories they are. Thieves, assassins, imaginary dragons, giant stone trolls, magic swords stuck in stones, treacherous and power hungry wizards, heroic barbarians. Epic plot to save the world included. We're getting ahead of ourselves, aren't we?

The Colour of Magic begins with the meeting of Rincewind and Twoflower. The first a failed wizard, expelled from Unseen University due to his inability to learn any spell. The latter is the first tourist, not knowing the value of his gold and a romantic optimist seeking adventure from his mundane insurance clerk job. The Luggage, a walking box with homicidal loyalty towards the tourist seems to be another character in this group, later joined by Cohen The Barbarian, the eighty year old retired Greatest Hero of the Discworld.

The film is very well made, much more interesting than the books it was based on. The characters are interesting and parodies of certain fantasy tropes. However, like with all parodies, it is hard to enjoy them if you don't know the references used. There are visual and audio jokes within and at least a few puns.

What else can I say? I'm too impressed to find much fault in it. I keep having flashes of the humorous parts and they were many of them, this is not to say that the film lacked cohesion. Far from it, using the plot of The Light Fantastic to create a plot throughout two parts proved a very good move, even though some scenes from the Colour of Magic couldn't be included in order to create new scenes with Trymon, the main villain of the film.

Lastly, I can say that to understand the film, you don't have to have read the book. I didn't read it before watching this and I still feel it's a film worth watching.

Idea: +Exposition

2009-02-09T19:42:00.004Z

I once again had a very strange idea...

I started making summaries of United We Stand threads. I haven't done them in a while but that's beside the point. Those summaries are based on a very simple assumption: the reader knows Exalted. That assumption is a result of playing a roleplaying game. We familiarise ourselves with the game world, make characters that fit into that world and run with it. An outside reader thus can't make sense of what is happening because there is no exposition within the game (and the summaries)... my crazy idea is: what if I were to add that exposition in the process of editing the threads instead of making summaries!

That would take a lot of work. I most likely would have to add NPC scenes that the players weren't aware of but that is more of a plus side, added content is always fun...

Editing them in such a way would also enable non-Exalted readers to familiarise themselves with the setting, or at least the part we are using, and I could show it off to people who aren't into Exalted or just didn't read the book...

It would be a massive undertaking... it would take me months to finish... but it would be worth it... I must ponder this further...

Fly Away

2009-02-02T17:21:00.004Z

Two brothers are saying goodbye to their friend. He is going on an assassination mission, they wish him no death.

The black car is driving away, they start to run home, their dog with them. As they run through an empty street in the middle of the city, they spread their arms and make childish noises of engines. A moment later their feet stop touching the ground. They fly away, like air planes, they become air planes. The two fighter jets make complicated manoeuvres when they stop a public transport plane. They come closer and land on it. Their maws open, they eat the plane with the people inside and their friend amongst them.

I'm such a Geek

2009-01-22T22:21:00.002Z

I don't know why I had an urge to go out and buy a trade today. I haven't bought any in months so that's probably why. I was a bit annoyed that Amazon didn't had the third volume of Y The Last Man but I took this as a perfect opportunity to support the local comic book shop. Unfortunately, they did not have a copy either. Since I don't like to go back empty handed, I left them my money in exchange for Scott Pilgrim versus the World.

Afterwards I was still not satisfied. I went to WH Smith knowing that there is a very slim chance that I might find that book in their badly organised graphic novel shelve. As I go downstairs, wondering what I'm wasting my time for, my eyes lay upon the shelve and the first thing I see is the exact same book I came here to buy! I was so overjoyed... I also bought Focus, because I haven't read any popular science magazine in ages...

I rarely have days like this...

Did you think this is the end? Of course not... I went shopping because I needed to get some things into my fridge. While getting various dead things into my basket, I noticed they offered the Collector's Edition of Men In Black for £3... so I bought it too.

One of these days when everything just has to go right...

Justice

2009-01-16T16:46:00.002Z

Deep in the woods a strange scene occurred. A car was being held in place by two rows of people holding its back and front even though the driver kept on trying to get out of this place. Finally, the people couldn't hold it any longer and they found themselves under the vehicle's wheels. The driver drove all over them, making sure they were all dead.

This has been noted by a distinguished detective who upon witnessing the mass murder, went up to the car and knocked on the car's window. When no reply came, he smashed the window open, grabbed the drivers tie and tied him up beneath the chassis. Whilst the culprit was screaming for mercy and out of fear of being dropped under a raging car, the detective took him to the police station in town.

After reaching the parking lot, he told him with a smile he needs to pay for his crimes and so they politely went to see a police officer who would pass judgement on the poor fellow.

World War 2 Superheroics with Mom!

2009-01-14T20:07:00.002Z

I wake up and go to brush my teeth. Meanwhile, the radio station is broadcasting how the nazi planes are bombing poor Norway! I keep on brushing my teeth a little bit faster when my mom jumps into the bathroom.

"There's an attack on Norway," she says. "You better get going."
"I know mom," I finish off the teeth cleaning. "I won't be long, a few more bombs won't make a difference."
"I certainly hope so!"

"Have you seen my costume?" I ask after getting back to my room. "I can't find it anywhere."
"Have you checked the drawer?" she shouts from the kitchen.
"Yes," I reply. "I did, it's not there."

After a while of scrambling I find it and get it on, when I'm about to leave through the front door, mom catches up with me.
"Oh and can you take this to your uncle while you're there," she gives me a bag of cake from the smell of it.
"Yes, I can but I need to be going," I'm starting to get a little worried. "They probably burned half the country already."
"Oh, you're such a big boy, I'm so proud of you," she hugs me. "Just like your father!"
"Can I go now?" she releases the hold she has on me.
"Just don't make too much property damage, and watch out for loose scrap metal, and don't get your cape torn, and don't forget the bullets flying."
"Yes mom, it's not the first time," I say as I fly away into the raging sky.

New Year Resolutions

2009-01-14T08:07:00.002Z

Since everyone and their mom thinks New Year Resolutions are a waste of time and never work, I thought I might give them a try.

Be more of a jerk
Deoq once said that I suffer from an ailment of being too nice. Before that, my doctors always said I need to be more egoistic. I never really took my tendency to think about the other person before myself as a bad thing. Recent years proved me wrong (happens more often than I don't care to admit), I'm just being taken advantage of and abused as I don't want conflict to complicate my life. This needs to end, I have to change my attitude. Malice is not hard, I just need to find a balance that works.

Cease activity on the Polish side of the internet
RPG.net has this saying: no game is better than a bad game. This can be easily translated to other walks of life as: not doing something is better than doing something that only causes you frustration. There's really no point in me engaging in an activity that only turn out is bashing my head on the wall out of sheer frustration on how things are.

Get a BA
My final year and I'm writing up a blog post instead of studying? Who does that?! Me, of course.

Learn some prayers
Already started learning one really long one. Maybe I'll be done with it by the end of the year... or maybe not. I can't really call myself orthodox if I don't pray, right?

Read more
I've put an hour in my schedule just to read. It's working, I'm reading. I want to get rid of the pile of books to be read. I probably won't make much progress until I get out of university and into the scary wide world of doom. I'm making progress in getting through the 105 books I own which is a good thing!

Send a story to some magazines
While most of my ideas are best served in novel format (what can I say, I like complexity), I have an idea for a short story now and then. I've never tried sending it to any magazines for publication, there are some bits I don't like about publishing but I can't use my idealism as an excuse all the time. I made preliminary research, now I just have to edit the story I have and send it to as much places I can.

Start jogging
I wanted to start working on my body for a while now. I had an epiphany recently, it often happens I have trouble sleeping, I just wake up very early in the morning. I'm a morning person I guess. I'll use this ability of mine to wake up early and start the day with a run. I find it hard to imagine there will be a lot of people at 5-6 AM and a bit of time alone with the world would do me good. Although, I think I might start a bit later in the year. Catching a cold now would only complicate things.

Write Stuff
I promised to write a couple of things for MrGone, Calliope, Seven and Alther to read. I've been putting it off because I prioritised my studies higher than those things and it's been slowly eating me up. I really don't like breaking promises, and while technically I didn't break anything since there was no deadline involved, I still feel bad about it. There's also Class Deceased, the novel I started a year ago, which didn't get any progress at all. I Should Be Writing had a very good point in saying that it doesn't matter if you write 5 words or 1000 words a day, a week or a month, it's more than nothing. I don't think that was the exact wording, but you get my meaning. As such, I won't care how much or what, I'll just write whenever I'll get the chance.

This is Life

2009-01-10T19:40:00.002Z

I just came back from the Wench.

I had a really great day. We talked, watched Sweeney Todd and had a pizza. I also did some shopping meaning I acquired sustenance and didn't spend any hours that I would use for essay writing.

Sirus recognised me, hoops were had!!!

Love the cats, as always!

I also had the pleasure to add a couple sociology books to my humble library and I got a present from Ash... which really surprised me to the extent I had no idea what has just occurred.

I need to have more days like this one...

Know Thy Game

2008-12-23T05:18:00.002Z

During my usual rambling of nonsense, I've been told something that made me think.
Everybody knows what game they know best... and like always, I don't accept myself as part of that group.

A statement was made: I must know Exalted better than Mage
Since I claimed that there is no measure of how well you can know a game, I've been informed that I do know what game I have read more and which I played more (all contributing to the knowledge of a game) so it follows I know Exalted better than Mage.

And yet, I feel unconvinced by this argument.
It is true that I read more Exalted books than Mage books and I played/run Exalted more.
If you were to ask me a question about Mage, I'd need to first look into a book. However, if you were to ask me a question about Exalted, I'd need to first look into a book... it happens more often that you think...

Just the other day I was asked what a player should roll to remember an information from their past incarnation's memory. So I guessed that would be Intelligence + Lore, then I looked at some Merit to find if there are any modifiers for that sort of roll. I found none, so I made them up.

Another player asked me if there are any smoke bombs in Exalted. I said yes so he asked about the book with them. To which my reply was: "I don't know, I made that up."

You might say that since I've had to read any and all information about the setting and use them regularly in the game I run, that I know it better. While it is true that I know every kingdom there is in the area we are playing in, what their political situation is, recent history, rulers, culture, military activity, the powers behind the scenes, the Essence lines, the history of the place, etc. and I know it all because... I made it up. All I could find in the official material is that there are hundred kingdoms in the area and they export food everywhere. You might say that I'm not running Exalted in its setting since the Hundred Kingdoms are said to rarely go to battle, whilst in the game I run, they are on the brink of a full blown out war with one another.

Since I know what Mage is about, its theme and mood, I read the base setting and I can refer to the book. I'll take those things, that feel of the game and add my own details. Just like I did with the Exalted game I run. As such I don't feel I know Mage any less than I know Exalted. Especially since there's a ton of people who answer questions about both games that I had no clue someone would ask.

Memorising the setting and mechanics is just not fun to me. I do fine with an excel sheet to do the math and a doc file to store the additional information so I don't have to remember it. I have a lousy memory so it often happens that I need to look into the rules for one thing twice in a game session... unless the player remembers it from before.

Setting discussion and mechanical optimisation of characters just bores me. I don't like anything that adds to the mechanics because that only ends up making my gaming experience less fun. In a game I don't look for either a simple or complex dice engine, neither to I crave for a rich setting of lack thereof (Scion!)... all I want is something to stimulate my imagination and that is easily achieved.

My conclusion would probably be that I wouldn't consider myself knowing one game better than the other. It might be bullshit on my part but yeah, I just don't see it...

Preferring one game over the other, now that's a different matter ;)

This just came in

2008-12-22T13:42:00.000Z

You think you're so great Christian!

Sending me books for Christmas!

Human Occupied Landfill and Ninja Burger: The RPG 2nd Edition?!

I will not tolerate the way you stomp all over my pride...

Beware my wrath!

The last words you'll hear from me:
Thank you

and DIE!!!

40 questions of 2008

2008-12-16T18:56:00.004Z

1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
I joined a Roleplaying Club
I wrote stuff for a website
I failed at translating
I went on Polish conventions
I run a game at a convention

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I have no idea what they were at this point... next time I'll just write them in a blog post...

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
My aunt gave birth to my Godchild II

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Nobody that I know of...

5. What countries did you visit?
Poland

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
an idea on what to do with myself...

7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
The one when Godchild I smiled at the sight of me...

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Running a game at a convention

9. What was your biggest failure?
Realising I have no idea how to speak in Polish...

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Sore throat... at the heights of summer...

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Manual of Exalted Power: Abyssals

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
I have no clue...

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
Mine

14. Where did most of your money go?
Books... lots of books...

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
promethean_lord's visit...

16. What song will always remind you of 2008?
None...

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder?
Same
ii. thinner or fatter?
Same
iii. richer or poorer?
Same

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Work on my Polish

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
worry about the future

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
Studying narrative...

22. Did you fall in love in 2008?
No

23. How many one-night stands?
-1

24. What was your favourite TV program?
True Blood

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
Nope

26. What was the best book you read?
The Light Fantastic

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Nightwish

28. What did you want and get?
didn't get anything

30. What was your favourite film of this year?
A tie between Iron Man and The Dark Knight

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was 21 when me and my friends went to Cosmo to eat lots of things...

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Getting to translate a book...

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
Clever Dead

34. What kept you sane?

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
None

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
None

37. Who did you miss?
my kitty

38. Who was the best new person you met?
promethean_lord!

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008:
Don't get your hopes up...

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: dum dum dum dum!

That's the Internet for You

2008-12-16T00:57:00.000Z

People on the internet are so easy to annoy...

Just tell the the truth and their opinion and suddenly it's all
oh noes, this is my thread not yours post what I want! It's mine, mine, mine!

Reminds me of all those times I was thrown out of playgrounds because it apparently belonged to some other kids...

eh, I need to take a break from the internet anyway... considering I need to work on a couple assignments and I'd like as much done as possible these next weeks...

and now, since it's 1am, I'll try to actually get some sleep!

Bad Mood

2008-12-09T20:37:00.001Z

I'd like to update my blog with something, but I just don't know with what...

Other than studying, I'm not really doing anything... I'm even staying here in England for the Christmas break to study, how exciting is that?

Hobby wise, not much going on either
Haven't got the chance to read the books I bought
Online games are going alright
I might be running a Scion campaign starting next year

my major annoyances with life seem to be over...
still in a bad mood over some things but I don't have anything more to say about them...

so yeah... I don't know what to talk about...

Oh noes!!!

2008-12-05T12:57:00.000Z

I have no idea when I'll get my bursary...

might even be in two months so I won't be able to buy people stuff for Christmas this year...

I'm out of money as is and I need to survive through this month...

Sorry...

DragonMeet 2008

2008-12-02T23:54:00.005Z

The convention took place on the 29th November 2008 in Kensington Town Hall!

The previous day I had a Dane arrive at my doorstep. He didn't have the best trip considering the cab took him too far into the street I lived on and when going back, he missed my house thus being slightly confused as to where does the Pole live! He went onto another street and back before finding my place of residence, without saying much, he was tired!

Naturally, promethean_lord was given the proper treatment of spaghetti bolognese. Since he was kind enough to bring with him Danish chocolates for me, I treated him to Polish vodka! European traditions galore! We watched Hot Fuzz and then went to bed.

The next morning it was time for DragonMeet. I made myself a sandwich and was eating it while the Dane woke up. We called the cab at 8am, it arrived a bit early so I had to throw my sandwich away. I took it outside, but being inexperienced with cabs I had no idea you can't eat in one, I managed to take a huge bite out of it though. When we were about to stop at the station, promethean_lord noticed he forgot his wallet, so we had to turn around as there is no point going on a convention if you can't buy anything! The driver amused us with a story of a Polish military ship being stationed in the port here at Brighton when he was little, a story which not many know about, while we tried to explain to him what roleplaying was (he thought in the cop/nurse kind of way, the kinky bastard!). We were running late, so I told him to run and I went off, apparently I'm faster. The tickets were bought and we caught our train to Victioria! In all this madness I forgot to ask the taxi driver about student discounts... I suck, I know...

At Victoria we needed to go to the underground and find a ticket machine because the one I usually used was out of order. We found one soon enough and located the correct platform (there was a moment of We sense you, Roleplayer on the station). Then we had to wait in High Street Kensington for the rest of the crew. We were soon met by Insane Prophet and Afrohead, we had a discussion on how Deoq sucks for not replying to us contacting him! After Mithras and his friend, Cristian, arrived we had another goal! We had to locate cash machines to get some money and go to Tesco for breakfast... because not everyone has a sandwich in the morning like I do!

People bought tickets, I ordered two from the internet (2 pounds cheaper that way). We entered and went straight to the buy stuff area. It was fun to get game books and dice, look at what's available, talk with the people responsible for our quickly dissipating money and things like that. After a while, we came back together and took a table for ourselves to play a game! For a while the table was used for reading through our purchases due to Mithras and Cristian not being able to locate the room upstairs, I went down to get them and made evil looking gestures while they couldn't get out of conversations with Mithras's friends (who apparently are at University of Sussex on the other side of the street to my campus and they have a roleplay gathering just at the exact time I have a very long break between lectures! I was invited to find them.)

Finally, after everyone was gathered, I run Scion Hero for the group.

You can find the pictures with captions from the game on Flickr, here are the links:
Thumbs up, Use the Force, Roll Out!, Scion Hero, Geeks, Green, Dice, Giant or Halfling?, Ready When You Are, Sacrifice, Reading, Annoyed, Death, Inevitable, Rules-lawyer, Frog Bashing, Hello?, Wow!, Explanation, Aim and Shoot, Metagaming, Surprise, Make Love not War, Chatter Stop!, Trinket

Some of the game highlights were (feel free to add yours in the comments, I can always edit this post):
1) promethean_lord shooting a pesky NPC with his love gun, resulting in a very horny lady out to get the only female PC! Unfortunately, we didn't get to Lesbian Pr0n!!!
2) Mithras being so annoyed by his character not hitting a giant frog monster that he used all possible means to get successes on one roll which resulted in him cutting off the monster's limb and smashing it to death with the severed appendage!
3) A sudden attack by ninjas in the middle of a desert!
4) Revamp calling and texting us after he woke up at 3pm in Cambridge, at one point I just switched my phone off...

Mithras and Cristian had to leave so we quickly wrapped up the game with a Deus Ex Machina on part of Loki. Mithras shot him, but the God took the bullet out of the air and gave it back to him in the form of a flower!

Next up there was some dice buying and praying one of us would win something in the ticket lottery! Afrohead told us about his dream of building a temple made out of dice. Revamp appeared! We found dice that had a frog image on one side and decided we all should get one for memories' sake!

After that we went to the underground station, said our farewells and returned home. Nothing special on the way back, other than a guy on the train who kept staring at me and promethean_lord for some arcane reason. Then a walk from the station to my abode. Finally, a pizza whilst we watch The Gamers 2: Dorkness Rising to end the gaming day!

The next day we made a video where we showed off our purchases and made some comments about things that transpired.

Work?

2008-11-24T09:17:00.003Z

This week shall see me less online and more in Word.

I now have one document to translate, I expect another one to reach me today.

This combined with studying means I will die... especially since I can't work during the weekend like I usually do, DragonMeet on Saturday. While on Sunday I'll have a Dane staying and watching DVDs with me most likely...

That's also why I didn't do a weekly review of everything... eh, I better go start messing with language...

and it's cold... seriously... maybe I should drink another cup of tea... the sugar will kill me, I know it...

2008-11-17T22:11:00.002Z

I learned something disconcerting about myself when I started thinking about my future plans.
I don't think that in this context I worry too much as I often do. I suppose we all think of where we're heading and what would be the best course of action. Decisions about education and choice of career, where to fit a hobby and entertainment in a busy lifestyle.

Right now I'm studying.
Before the northern hemisphere goes into summer, I hope to become a Bachelor of Linguistics.
During the summer I intend to take up a course that will give me teaching qualifications.
Then I'll wrest the demons of language to prove I'm worthy of the title, Master of Linguistics.
When that milestone is reached, I'd like to go to Germany (or Austria, hint!) to teach English and polish my German.
After a year, I was thinking of taking up an Open University course (it's like higher education over the internet) in Philosophy.
Although it so happens that I'd like to be a Doctor of Linguistics, so I think I'll spend two years familiarising myself with the linguistic community by reading journals and blogs to keep my knowledge fresh.
I suspect the Doctorate will halt my progress in Philosophy but that's fine with me, I'm patient like that.

On the other side of things there's my inherent creativity!
I want to spend the first year of my employment on saving up enough money to go see GenCon and possibly meet those Americans I talk to online.
I'm running online games, that won't stop.
I'm writing rp material.
I'll start a roleplaying blog with the start of 2009.
I want to try some more games.
I want to write books.
I want to practice drawing and try my hand at a webcomic one day.

I would say those are the two main aspects of my life but they are hardly the only ones.

So many things I want to learn: dancing (classical dance, because that thing people mean when they say everyone can dance is not dancing), martial arts, playing the violin, languages (I'm not going to stop on German), PHP, CSS...

and things that hold my interest in reading: mythology, philosophy, linguistics, folklore, fantasy, science fiction, sociology, theology, horror...

I love learning.
I love imagination.
I love art.

The only thing that really worries me is that I'm becoming self centred. I'm walking away from those years of waiting for a bright light to shine and take me out of misery because I no longer believe in that being possible. The question currently roaming through the vast expenses of my mind is quite simple: Is self improvement the way to being alone?

On one hand, I can see how many of the things I'm interested in can enhance my social experience.
On the other, I fear that I'll make myself into a workaholic.

Readership

2008-11-09T13:33:00.000Z

There's one problem that I'm having with writing for Azylum. I read posts on other similar sites and the comment section really shows what kind of Poles read the stuff I'm writing. It's full of bickering, accusations and vitriol. Every time I sat down to write something fun, to contribute to the abysmal happenings in the WoD-PL scene, those comments appear in my head (and they're not even directed at me) and I feel discouraged from writing.

It's funny how this is true only to the PL side, when I post something in ENG, everyone is nice even if they don't agree with me. It's like in the ENG sphere people just want to have fun, of course, there are exception but they're still in the minority. The opposite is true in PL. Right now, the only thing keeping me in Azylum are the people behind it. A nice bunch, it's why I try to contribute in hopes that site will keep running. At the same time, I hope it will reach a point where it'll grow to the extent where one person leaving won't cause it to die...

I think I made myself sound important... I don't like that...

Now that I think about it, it's funny how Christian felt the same way (at least I think that's how he felt) about posting on the WW forum...

Thank you

2008-11-05T22:44:00.000Z

The day started very plain. I woke up and had my tea. It wasn't long until a Czech car arrived to pick me up and we drove to Eastbourne where the three of us went to an Asian Restaurant. We ate a lot and I received a very cool present of a tiny cartoon skull that since then adorns my many hats.

We then went to our Eastbourne friend's house, where we spent some time talking and just being nice to each other.

After I returned home, I found an email. In this email, one girl that I knew from high school wished me happy birthday and made clear she understands what I'm going through in relation to my feelings for her.

Lastly, all those wishes on blogs and forums helped too.

It was an exciting day.

Thanks to all of you.

Birthday

2008-11-05T10:44:00.000Z

For the first time in my life

With an honest heart

I can say

This day was the best day

I have ever had

Thank you

Thank you everyone

who made this possible

I'll try not to forget

(knowing my memory

it'll be hard

What was I talking about?)

Egyptian Dreaming

2008-10-25T21:41:00.000+01:00

I was cursed to roam my castle as a powerless child. My court abandoning me, there was little hope for me. That is, until a group of grave robbers broke in and offered me their help. They knew how to lift the curse plaguing my being so I agreed that if I am to return to my true form before we next meet, I'll offer them as much gold as they can carry.

I returned to my normal state a few days later. Nearly instantly, my courtiers flocked back with proclamations of leaving on quests to help me. They were all so happy to have their Pharaoh back. We all suddenly heard very strange sounds. I went out to investigate and see my palace being overrun by dozens upon dozens of grave robbers who just plainly took everything that was valuable in my possession. Angry at this, I asked my court who is responsible for letting them in. One reluctantly admitted his fault, I snapped his neck.

In anger, I called out to the robbers to stop this instant but they would not listen. My next shout wasn't so pleasant as I plainly said all the ones who won't leave now will be killed by these hands of mine. They probably thought one man is no match for about 100 people. I jumped into the fray and told the guy picking out marble off the floor to stop. He told me "make me" so I proceeded to take his tools, go round him and make a hole in the floor he'd fall in. The guy laughed, grabbed a piece of marble and hit me on the head. A very astonished look appeared on his face when he saw the marble crumbling to sand in his hands.

Thus I spent the day getting people off my castle using my sand touch powers that are so much better than the uncontrollable gold touch! I then sat on a sand throne, created with my sand manipulation powers, and looked down upon those people fearing my might and wrath.

"You have angered me," I stood up and pointed with my arm to the east where a pit formed in the desert's sands. "But I am a benevolent ruler so I'll give you a choice. Discard your previous life into the pit, throw your clothes and memories into oblivion and live as my slaves or throw yourselves into the pit and be consumed by these sands."
"You promised us treasures, is this how you repay us?" their leader shouted. "By breaking your word! We held up to our word unlike you! It's you who have no honour!"
"You dare to speak of honour? You who did not come to my palace to ask for his reward? If you had done so, I'd given you as much as you can carry but instead you choose to forget about your host, come inside my house as if it was a brothel and take everything out of your own accord." I sat down. "That is your crime, this is your punishment."

And then I looked at the people making their decisions.

Fall for your Lives!

2008-10-25T21:16:00.002+01:00

I apparently was myself and I was in the middle of travelling from point A to point B but as it often happens, there were delays...

Part of my journey was to get through a school. Unfortunately for me and other travellers, the gate we were supposed to go through was down for maintenance, so we had to wait inside the building until it would be open. I spotted a "no entry" sign in one of the hallways but looking through windows, I noticed the hallway led to where I was going so it would be pointless for me to stay with everyone else waiting for some stupid gate to open. Thus I went there and after a while I found a gym where some girls were training, all the doors leading out of the building were closed so I couldn't get out but at least I had a lot better internet reception, so I sat down and went on the internet.

Moments later the Principal came and told me he needs to bring me in for questioning as I committed a crime by coming here. After entering her office she starts talking while I gaze into the distance... the door was the only way out but I needed a key so I asked after being bored of boredom.

"Can I have the key?"
"No," she said.
"I'll shoot you with my finger if you don't," I pointed my index finger at her.
"Like you can!" she replied
"oh well," I sighed. "But at least I can do this!"
I jumped, grabbed her by the ankles and held her outside the window so she can have a nice view of the grass 5 floors below.
"Now will you give me the key?" I asked.
Unimpressed, she threw it down.
"Now you'll have to catch it before it falls," I said as I let her fall to her death then I jumped myself, grabbed the key in mid-fall and safely landed on the ground while she became a blood stain on the Earth's face.

NaNoWriMo Fail

2008-10-21T11:14:00.003+01:00

I have to say that my current workload just won't allow me to tackle NaNoWriMo this year. It's mostly because of studying but writing for Asylum, running Exalted and Changeling The Lost, the secret project, taking part in a podcast, translating poetry, trying to write some blog posts for my RPG blog project, being more social and trying to get into the habit of relaxation isn't helping...

So yeah, can't go with NaNoWriMo at all this year... at least I have that Class Deceased book project to work on, if I ever finish it. Since last year, it didn't move in any direction at all. That needs to change! I'm unhappy with myself so I'll take what little time I have to work on it. I'll also use my Deviant Art page for all those writing/art stuff, but if you've subscribed to my FriendFeed, you'll only notice a content change.

I wonder if you guys even use that FriendFeed of mine...

This isn't going to work...

2008-10-13T04:54:00.002+01:00

I've outlined the main plot and some scenes for my NaNoWriMo story but I just don't see it working as a 50k novel. At least for now, the whole idea and its direction is too fresh in my mind to make it into that length and have it not suck. I need to spend a lot more time working on the novel than I have in a month, so I'll have to shamefully admit I just can't write it at this point in time.

Class Deceased is what I tried to write last year, so it unfortunately goes to the very end of my novel writing list. The Door has some of the problems that the current story had, so I'll probably not tackle it. The Shaman looks a lot better, it's already a short story so I know what I want to do with it. I just need to add a lot more scenes from various points of view, learn how to speak pirate, polish the plot, add a few more layers to it, make up some more characters, get in the right mood and think of some potential subplots... that last one will be the hardest though...

Still, I feel a bit like cheating this way.
It's something I've already written while the whole point of NaNoWriMo is to write in a month...

I am become Death

2008-10-11T12:40:00.000+01:00

Which Tim Burton character are you?

Emily - The Corpse Bride
You are Emily, the lovely Corpse Bride. You have been betrayed in the past, and now only spend your days waiting for someone to heal your broken heart. You are very talented, always speak your mind, and try constantly not to embarrass yourself. You have a very delicate soul and sometimes are afraid to go on, but fear no longer. One day someone will come to set you free.

How do you compare?
Take this test! | Tests from Testriffic

If I were a woman, I'd be a Goddess

2008-10-04T12:56:00.001+01:00

What Greek Goddess are you?

You are Persephone!
You are like Persephone, daughter of Demeter and wife of Hades. That's right...you are married to the god of the underworld...and that makes you QUEEN of the underworld. But you should tell your friends not to judge...sometimes good girls just fall for bad boys. Like Persephone, you are somewhat paradoxical, as you present a saintly aura part of the time and a wild child aura the other part. Whereas you can be a sophisticated lady, you definitely know how to bring out your politically INcorrect side. :)

How do you compare?
Take this test! | Tests from Testriffic

Just Imagine

2008-10-01T21:08:00.004+01:00

October, time to get a bit creative.
How much creativity are we talking about? I'll know after the academic year starts for sure.

I'm in the process of setting up a blog. My first serious venture into RPG blogging. I hope to buy server space from somewhere. For now I've only played on the Wordpress site, where the beta blog is currently at. Needs a better CSS sheet but I have little experience with those things. This in no way discourages me from creating content! First of which needs to be a post on what the oblivion is an RPG.

Again, it's October! Thus it's time to work out an outline and character profiles for my NaNoWriMo novel. In fact, I hardly have anything for it. I like me a challenge... though I still don't expect to write a 50000 novel. The only thing I know about this Story is that it revolves around the idea of sin... and there will be gore... you like people dying en masse, don't you?

I have also been asked to participate in a Changeling event on Asylum which requires me to write as much Changeling The Lost things as physically and mentally possible... and those will be released in English in due time.

I'm also trying to negotiate some translations... not as creative, but it's still something...

Lastly, I'm part of a secret project that I should not be talking about at all because it's such a big secret that ninjas will come to kill me if I do but I'm so awesome I'll kill them before and after they kill me...

I'm back in England

2008-09-29T15:10:00.003+01:00

After 15 hours of getting from one country to the next... which wasn't such a bad trip knowing my track record, it was actually quite an enjoyable one this time around... I have done a lot of things over the past few days...

1. Shopping = new laptop, new router, enough food to go by
2. Updated my RPoL games = making nearly half a dozen new threads is not easy, especially if you go through a time lapse
3. Cleaned my room = it's not that my room was untidy when I got here, but with the stuff that I brought back with me, I had to reorganize a lot of things, put away everything I won't need for this academic year and make room for all those papers I'll inevitably get from my tutors this year
4. Cleaned the refrigerator = because going by the amount of unclean dishes in the sink, how empty and frozen the fridge was and all those pizza boxes lying around I'm apparently the only using that thing
5. I informed my landlord of my return
6. I went through all the letters I got...

Here's the thing, aside from the bills that I'll split up with one other room-mate, I received a very peculiar letter. Apparently, everyone who was living here the previous year must pay council tax!

See, in England you pay this thing called council tax by which your money goes to the city council, police and fire brigade... it's all cool if not for the simple fact that we are all full-time students, thus exempt from this tax. What's even more annoying is that I'm apparently the only one living here from the previous year, so I have to go to the city council now and someone make it apparent I not only shouldn't have been required to pay but I'm also incapable of paying 1,514.18 pounds...

on top of that, I still have letters to write...

The Wyrm made me do it...

2008-09-22T10:53:00.001+01:00

Instructions:
Take a picture of yourself right now.
Don’t change your clothes, don’t fix your hair - just take a picture.
Post that picture with NO editing.

Post these instructions with the picture.

This ended up long...

2008-09-02T13:29:00.005+01:00

It's been a very long time since I last updated. As I told Exmiscellanea yesterday, it's about time I give you people some explanation why you had to endure without me rambling maddeningly into the internet void (how you did that, I have no idea)...

It all happened simple. I wanted to make some changes in my lifestyle, be a bit more outgoing and sign up for something (like martial arts classes). Alas that did not work because the moment my mom heard about it she shouted me down for being inconsiderate, uncaring and egoistic. Which also marked the first time I was ever called egoistic, after years of counsellors telling me I should be more egoistic instead of only thinking about others. She also got mad that I didn't want to spend most of my summer at my grandfather's. While I like it there, resting in an isolated area runs counter-productive to achieving a more outgoing lifestyle.

Next up was my grandfather getting dizzy and having headaches. That in turn resulted in his doctor calling for testing to see if he has brain bleeding. He turned out okay but due to the testing, he was in need of resting in bed to the extent he would need to lie there all day and night for a week. Unfortunately, with my grandfather the only possible way to relieve him of putting strain on his body through work is to take that strain away from him. In other words, I had to go there and work alongside him so he wouldn't work too much. In the meantime, I managed to go to Warsaw for a convention, mainly to talk with one person and get some things in order. I also bought a game and stuff.

My dad arrived for two weeks some time later, the first of which was spent in Masuria. The next had a cold war theme going on due to me receiving information on not passing a module... and the subsequent panic mode I naturally enter whenever something doesn't go as planned. The essay was being written, in the meantime I went once again to Warsaw for an anime convention with Vegael. It wasn't the greatest experience, but I got some cool merchandise (I'm such a geek). My soul was also consumed by Death Note before I managed to finish the essay.

That being done, the only thing that needed to be taken care of was to clean my Bionicle collection. It was an epic task in and of itself, I'll have pictures to show its size up later on.

If you think that's all that's been keeping me up from being more internet active, I should mention a few more things. I tried to correspond via email every now and then. It may not have worked out as I wanted it to, but it's better than nothing. I find it really hard to concentrate when everyone is home and running around. If it wasn't for the noise that it would have caused, I'd write more in the morning instead of quietly reading internet gossip so as to not wake anyone up. Civilisation IV also got my soul, I spent most days playing it with my sister because she wanted to spend time together with me and considering I might not have that opportunity for more than a year from now on, I couldn't say no. Don't forget that as a Godfather, I have the duty to corrupt a baby so he can grow up into an evil mastermind to rule the world, babysitting is fun like that. Having the PC divided between 2-3 people wasn't helping my internetliness either...

At present, I still don't know what's up with my essay. I don't even know if it reached my tutor, much less whether or not I'll pass those classes. Vegael and I want to start a speculative fiction blog and I probably should put my games off hiatus but my head hurts so much, I think I'll do it after dinner.

Now that I think of it, maybe it's a good thing I didn't had time to edit a video I made shortly after arriving here. As you probably noticed, I look awful on videos... but that still doesn't mean I can't make videos about consuming horrible things that you probably didn't know existed! (like sorrel soup, for instance) As work and school started for my mom (she was on sick leave for a week) and sister, I have more time on my hands. Expect stuff being written...

Oh yeah, there was a Mozart CD in the mail yesterday... listening to it now!

I am seriously mad

2008-08-29T23:02:00.001+01:00

I went to the shopping centre with a friend. He wanted to show me some laptops because I'm probably going to buy one soon. He gets in (with a backpack) but me, being behind, don't... because I had a backpack. I was then told to put it in deposit. Okay, not mad yet but when I saw the deposit. It's just a locker that you pay 2 PLN to get a key. Hardly any security for whatever I had with me, just paying for it to be under zero surveillance and in a crappy locker that you could get into with a strong punch. I'm basically expected to pay for paying the shop money... and this is something I don't agree with. I want quality for my money, not some cheap cheese cake with nil insurance and security.

but that wasn't the worst

What really got me mad happened later on. We went to get beer, me not liking beer that much means that the very fact of it makes me slightly annoying (but I'm trying this social drinking, so lately I've been drinking more than usual = more than nothing). Like always I am wearing a cap and that seems a problem for the security guard. I am suddenly a threat that needs to be dealt with. God forbid I have a nice time drinking with a buddy in the non-smoking area... an empty non-smoking area. I still can't understand why it would bother anyone. Even the people who came in and passed us didn't run shouting in terror at the sight of a cap on my head. The guard didn't agree, and he was polite enough to show his disagreement with quite vulgar statements and threats of violence... which happened after I left (my friend told me about it), I just didn't want to bother with someone of that calibre.

See, it would be a different thing if the local required all patrons to wear suits or had classical music. Then I would happily comply with the order (I just can't call that manner of speech a request). As it were, it seemed like an informal club, I came there being informal and that's apparently not the impression the club was aiming at.

I Hit you with my Mighty Fist

2008-08-25T19:25:00.003+01:00

Last week I had something interesting happen right next to the block I live in, close enough to see and hear everything from a window.

That way during the evening, a few hours after a football (I'm European, don't forget) match ended. There are these three guys who curse at anyone moving in their vicinity. I come up to the window to close it because they were getting too loud and I had enough fresh air in the room.

One guy came up to them and started cursing back. Threats were made, use of fists and knives mentioned, the two guys going at each other looked like angry roosters... I didn't have any popcorn.

After the verbal exchange, the guy (who wore a red jacket) went away. I was about to go back from the balcony when the guy came back... with friends.

It turned out, his friends were only an audience. The red jacket guy went up to those three guys and hit each one of them in the face. One guy wanted to challenge him and they started to go at each other the same way as before but with fists and leg work. After a while, the guy decided it wasn't a fight he'd win so he backed off and turns around. At that point, the red jacket guy grabs him from behind and throws to the ground. As he kicks the guy, the other two run away.

Seven or so kicks to the head/chest later, red jacket guy leaves. The guy lies on the ground and isn't moving. A few minutes later, his buddies came back for him, tried to wake him up but apparently decided it'd be better to just carry the unconscious block home... or somewhere...

Even my mom watched, we found it quite entertaining... aren't we sociopaths?

Not the Best of Times

2008-06-23T18:12:00.000+01:00

After spending time offline at my grandpa, my parents took us all to Masuria for a week.

Upon arrival back home I learned I didn't pass one of my modules so I need to redo my essay. I have a month to do that.

Internet access and my projects need to take the back-seat (again!).

I really am not enjoying myself this summer...

Identity Crisis?

2008-06-17T21:49:00.003+01:00

There is one thing I have to say

Exmiscellanea is right.

I need to stop worrying about relationships and patterns and just do what I always do, ride the current of reality up to the release of death...

I think I'm getting into some crisis.
I'm beginning to realise that I need not only think of a career but something more than that. Life apparently isn't just about going home/work. I need to fill it with something more than that. Gaming would be the obvious choice, but for some reason my mind thinks of it as the opposite of socialising... that old stereotype of a basement geek.

There's a real torment of emotion in me right now. To the extent that I don't really know what's happening. Being home doesn't help one bit because everyone wants me to do something. I don't mind most of them, I wasn't here a long time so it's understandable that my family wants to spend time with me. Unfortunately, that leaves me with little time to do anything else, while my family might think otherwise, keeping up with friends is also important.

I feel kind of drained, not really sure what to do, even though I have my projects (like cleaning this room)... depression? Maybe... is it wrong to hope that I'll find a job after graduating so I don't have to come home and listen to my mom telling me what I need to do as if I was stuck in one chapter of life, like life is going to be exactly the same after graduating like it was before?

I just want to do something with myself instead of waiting for a better future that will not come. I hope this summer I'll manage to do a few things that I wanted to try but been constantly putting them off.

The seeds have been planted, it's a fast growing plant, I just need to cut it right and enjoy the camp fire stories...

Slightly Occupied

2008-06-12T08:37:00.003+01:00

As weird as that may sound, the between countries teleportation wasn't all that bad... I still can't believe it went well...

Unfortunately, I don't have the time to do a full account of it. I'm just posting now in case you're wondering what's going on with me.

Last few days were spent on catching up with my internet presence, which included reading all your blogs, my YouTube subscriptions and some Lifehack...

I would like to say that I decided to redesign the way I blog. As you may know, I have a dozen accounts on various websites, some of them I put stuff to and since they have RSS (feeds are awesome!) I was able to combine them in FriendFeed into one big FEED that would show you everything I post... that way I will cut my blogging amount because I won't have to write the same thing to blog after blog and I could organize what I write to where I post.

This blog for personally introspective cogitating on the workings of the unknown universe and Twitter for short OMG! and Life-Sucks! posts (I'll probably leave my bitching on MySpace)... but that's not all! It also shows what sites I bookmark on delicious and what internet resources I Digg, what I favourite on YouTube (and I hope it will also show what I upload, that needs testing), it will give you photo links to my Flickr and what books I added to my inventory on LibraryThing...

I am pondering making a blog on Wordpress for my reviews (those that I wanted to do every Friday) and a blog on RPGs... they'll be added to the feed too...

So... you can either follow this blog where I just talk, add this and that to your RSS reader (if you're using one) or just pick up FriendFeed to get it all in one go... that way I won't bore you by putting everything and nothing in one place... and on my side, I won't be wasting time on writing the same thing again and again, I don't do copy&paste like that...

The Feed is here... seriously, I've got stuff to do, I'll write something more coherent and telling you what I'm doing later on... or make a list in the morning... I dunno, too many things to think about...

Naked Ride

2008-06-07T17:24:00.000+01:00

While I was walking through the town centre I was witness to a sight most strange...

and I must tell you this...

Seeing all those people riding their bikes naked made me realise my 6 inches are in quite good shape... I wonder if I got another inch over those few years since I measured it...

One last thing, I shall never pierce MiniMe...

The women were topless or in bikini, only one was truly nekkid...

Semester End

2008-06-03T16:43:00.002+01:00

I'm out of my last exam for this semester.

It's definitely one of my worst semesters and I'm still worried I'll either fail or get expelled. Time will tell... which won't be that long...

My laptop is still out of commission and tomorrow it goes in for repairs.
Meanwhile, I'm going back home on Monday.
The plan is to sleep in the afternoon, wake up near midnight, go in for a train, arrive at London, use the tube station, get on a train to Luton. I should be there at about 2AM, then I'll wait 4 hours, go to check in, wait another hour or so, board the plane, sleep for 2 hours in the air, land in Warsaw at about 8AM (or near 9AM, I don't remember off the top of my head). After that I would need to wait an hour for a shuttle bus that'll take me to Białystok in 3-4 hours, then I'll just take the ride home by bus and I should be there by noon...

Knowing my luck, something bad is bound to happen... I can feel it...

I'll write more on how the semester went later on, when I'll have internet that isn't public domain...

Fantastic!

2008-05-27T16:00:00.000+01:00

Why did a Dalek cross the road?
To exterminate that bloody chicken.

Knock, Knock.
Who's there?
Doctor.
Doctor, who?
Exactly!

How many Daleks does it take to change a lightbulb?
Daleks do not change a ligthbulb! Daleks exterminate the building!

Death Follows in my Wake

2008-05-23T09:24:00.000+01:00

My internet is dead and I'm having issues with the provider who is being annoying...

Now I need to go for classes, the normal schedule will return when I'll have it back, because honestly, I can't be online during my campus hours... and it's only those hours that I can access the internet at present...

Until next time!

Splendid!

2008-05-20T16:09:00.000+01:00

My laptop died...

again...

I just lost everything I was working on the past week...

now I have to work on public university computers...

I'm so going to fail this semester...

The Hole in my Mind

2008-05-14T19:11:00.003+01:00

I'm kind of better now. I still have the same things tormenting me as before but to a lesser extent, I guess telling the internet "LIFE SUCKS!!!" helps... so I thought I'll extrapolate on what's annoying me at the moment...

I think it all started with Domi telling me that when looking for a job I need to think what it can enable me to do, pay-check-wise. Which got me thinking... what do I want? And that's actually quite a difficult question because technically, I don't want anything. I like roleplaying games, graphic novels, books, manga, cool shirts, etc. but I have a hard time saying that's what I want. It's a bit like with my sister, she hoards money, I hoard stuff. Buying all those things to me is probably like breathing to you, you don't really think of breathing as something you want to do all your life but as part of what you are. In fact, when I saw this really cool device allowing you to watch cable/satellite TV over the internet, my first thought was "Dad's going to love that one." so my first thought is still about someone other than me... it makes me realise that I don't think of myself as worth attention and this is something I have to change. Thus giving in to all those people telling me I have to be more egoistic.

Next up is my dad telling me about finding work. That I shall fail because I haven't found one for 2 years. Doesn't matter I have no idea how to look for a job. Doesn't matter I have no idea where to look for a job. Doesn't matter I have a fear of talking to new people. I didn't find one on my first few weeks here so there's no chance in hell I won't find one. In part, I agree, it's only my own fault I am incapable of finding a job. I have barriers instilled in me that need to be overcome before I succeed, but it isn't easy.

Domi later on said I need to find myself a girlfriend. Suddenly, my mind just gives me reason after reason not to have a girlfriend. For once, I lack the resources of money and time. I have no idea how a relationship works. I'm too fragile and living in a very unstable state, adding to the stress I already have will only make me go down further. By unstable meaning university life with no certainty of living in one place in the foreseeable future. And there's the whole thing about how sex enters the equation, it all seems like intercourse happens in the early stages of going out but I just don't see myself sleeping with a girl after a few dates out.

I have a really hard time coming up with ideas for my games. It's not that I burned out or anything like that. If I sit down and start writing, I can move the story forward no problem, but I feel that sting in my heart telling me I should be studying for an exam or something of that sort instead of gaming.

I think that's all that's on my mind... at least I believe it to be... you know how awful a memory I can have at times...

2008-05-10T11:40:00.001+01:00

My internet presence is waning but I think it's for the best. I had a lot of thinking, made observations and finally concluded that changes need to be made.

My main problem is that I held too much to hope.

When I was in primary school, I thought that I just need to be patient, that in time people will grow out of their stupidity and the fists will stop. They did stop when I reached high school but instead of intelligence they were replaced with harsh looks, social exclusion and verbal abuse. Being patient didn't help in this case either, people at university still are more interested in fashion, alcohol, getting laid and "cool" stuff rather than education and the pursuit of knowledge.

I came to the conclusion that having values is an innate trait rather than one acquired through being raised. I don't mind people having fun, but the extent to which I find myself surrounded seems excessive and meaningless to me. What's the point of having sex if you know you won't see that person ever again? What's the point of drinking just to forget today? It's not my thing and no matter how much I try, it never will be. I don't need to slowly climb up the party ladder nor do I need to find the right people. Even when I'm with people I like to talk to, I am incapable of looking forward to drinking with them.

It often happened that I killed a conversation by saying "none" to questions about what music I listen to or what do I drink. Most people don't see that as an answer but as a way of politely saying to shut up, which in my case is incorrect. That single fact got me down more than once because I wanted to meet people and find some worth my time but now I think that if the first thing you want to talk about is either of the two, as far as I'm concerned, you're boring me...

Which brings me to my other point, being too polite. There were times when I skipped a meal because someone was using the kitchen and I didn't want to get in the way or when I didn't work on my thing because someone asked me for help... well, I decided that people were right when they told me I need to be more of an egoist and think more about myself. So I tried to be a bit more self-centric lately and it actually works quite fine.

I started working out more, 30 push-ups and 30 of each of those belly and back muscles exercises (that I constantly forget the name of, even though Encart told me once) a day, followed by leg muscle stretching... I'm spending too much of my time physically inactive these days and I'm quite annoyed that I'm having trouble keeping up my running speed for the usual amount of time. I think it's also the best way for me to gain weight as my body can't hold fat for long, so the next best thing to do is to get some more muscles. Of course, I didn't do rigorous training until now because I'm just that nice of a guy that I didn't want to be so strong as to hurt someone when I snap... like I said, I'm changing my attitude into "I'm me, if you don't like it, try and stop me."

So to sum up, I'm basically replacing my "hope" mentality with my "hate" mentality... it's not something that I thought I would ever do, but I'm tired of living in a fantasy world.
Life sucks, there's no point to it and there won't be any any time soon... so I might as well do what I want because I feel like it...